catch up

Time to play catch up. That's always so hard to do once it's been awhile, but I'll try. The week after my cousin's wedding was very chaotic...lol! Marlon was in Baltimore with his Pops and actually left the morning that I got home. That Monday thru Friday was Discovery Days at church. So much fun, but also very busy. Jordyn had her friend Kristy (who was leading a group with her) stay the week. My niece, Nia, also stayed the week. Overall, I think we all did great. There was some chaos that just comes when daddy is gone and two extras are over...but basically we handled it well. I told Marlon when it was over, however, that I could tell I relied on my own strength (which is not great) and not on HIS power to sustain me. That probably accounted for my lack of sleep and peace that week. Being able to handle a week like that is something I can do. As a former single mother, worry wart and over achiever...I can take control fairly easily. Being able to handle a week like that with peace of mind, grace and a calm spirit...that I need HIM for. So I know that I need to be more in prayer and connect with God when I am in those situations (Zambia anyone??)
Last weekend my aunt threw a graduation and 18th birthday party for my cousin. Jackie has not had an easy life and for awhile seemed headed down a pretty dark road. She has grown and changed so much and I thank God for the strides that she's made. She has graduated, is working, and staying out of trouble for the most part. I continue to pray that she finds Jesus and can see how He can help make everything in her life easier and if she follows Him every day is brighter.
This past week I found myself fighting the flu. Finally Friday I woke up nauseous, with a headache and my entire body was sore. I went into work for the morning because there were some things that I needed to do...but I left by 11:30 and slept pretty much all afternoon and even into the early evening. Today I feel a little better...but not much. I am hoping that this does not turn into a replay of my flu in Feb. Although I did lose 10 lbs. that week...lol! Thankfully we do not have any major plans this weekend (pretty much the only weekend like this for the entire summer) so I can relax, sleep a lot and take it easy.
I am off to send a few e-mails and then I am going to try and take a nap. Much love.

My trip to Cali

I must tell you...my cousin Kristopher's wedding to Stacy was held at the most beautiful setting I have ever seen...by far. I am including some pictures of the location-Centerville Estates-and then I will post more as I can. They are such wonderfully sweet people...very loving and compassionate, certainly meant for each other. It's awesome too because they are this throw back to another time--when peace love and harmony ruled the world!! :) So many stories to tell of my adventure, but alas I am extremely tired today. Today was the first day of Discovery Days at church and I am pooped. Due to a flight delay, I didn't get home until about 1am and had to be to church with all 4 kids, a niece and teenage friend by 7:45!!! Whew...lol. But God was so gracious and gave me the energy I needed to get through the day. Here are the pictures....









Congrats Kris and Stacy---may God bless your union and may you find pure joy in each other!

Kilyoni

Kilyoni and Marlon

I spoke in May about our meeting with Kilyoni and a potential trip to Zambia. I wanted to introduce you (virtually anyway) to Kilyoni, the man that we met and Marlon connected with so well. He is very kind and gentle, with a childlike faith that reminded me to rejoice in all things...with abandon and praise for our great God. Even the littlest thing amazed and awed him--it is so good to put life into perspective that way. Sometimes we get so bogged down with all of our own craziness and chaos...things like font and color of paper for a project...things like whether or not to have pizza or subs for a luncheon...things like whether or not we had enough to do in our free time. I am not finger pointing because believe me I am at fault of these things as well, but really people...in the scheme of life and our ultimate goal of living as a sacrifice for God's will...do any of those things matter. I am committed to being aware of my shortcomings in this area of making little things big and focusing on stuff rather than salvation.

Thank you Kilyoni for sharing our joy for life and love for our King with us.

Special Day

Today was an amazing day in our house. Marlon adopted Isaiah. Now what we already have all known and felt in our hearts, that Marlon is Isaiah's dad...is official for all other intents and purposes. I can't even express the utter joy it was to have this be final. While it may also seem a bit sad because it means that someone chose to step away from knowing what an amazing child Isaiah is...I truly believe that this situation is part of Isaiah's walk and that Marlon is God's gift to Isaiah and to me. To have to verbalize why Marlon is a fit father for Isaiah brought me to tears. Explaining out loud how a man could step in from 6 weeks old and treat a child so much as his own...his whole family so much as their own...that our children never even knew he was not his blood father...that is a true rarity. It's so easy to see. To hear Marlon say why he wants to be Isaiah's father...I am so thankful for this day. When I think of the painful things that I did and sinful ways I behaved...God is so good. So gracious...so merciful. He can take such a bleak siutation and make it fully good, fully beautiful...if you only trust in Him, turn to Him, rely on Him. A very wonderful moment was when the guardian ad litem added that she wanted the court to know in her many years she felt we were one of the most stable, loving homes she had ever come across. That is God. That someone would look at us and say those words...that is a true testiment to God in our lives and our desire to live by His will.
Here are some pictures of our day. God's blessings on each of you reading this.


Father and son...what more is there to say?


All of us with the judge...she was such a wonderful lady.

Last soccer game

Elijah being...well, Elijah (what a hambone!)


Isaiah in action

Well yesterday was the last soccer game of the season. The kids played a great game and won (yeah!) which made them all smile. Marlon always has certificates that he makes up for the kids and also attaches their medal to a ribbon so they can wear it if they want. It is likely that he won't be coaching in the fall because Elijah wants to play football and Isaiah is trying out for select. He is doing well and just has to remember to have that aggressive, confident spirit on the soccer field.
That is all tonight. I am very tired and just wanted to stick in a couple of pictures from the game.
I have some pictures of Kilyoni to add on later. Nite.

what's new?

What a busy weekend we had. It seemed to just fly by, even with Monday off. I did get out and walk every day with my parents. We walked twice around the river (which is about 3 miles). My sister had us over on Monday for a cook out and the kids had a great water gun fight (which of course some of the adults got in on) and then we headed back to my Grandma's for a cook-out for her birthday. (She is 74 today!)

Some good things to be thankful for: Jordyn was student of the month AGAIN, this time in Health Education. Elijah decided to audition for an actual part for the summer musical at Elmbrook (those of you who know my theatre/dance background know I lovee that). Marlon and I decided about the Zambia trip. He will be going to Zambia in October with, God willing, a stop in Nairobi to see the Ryders. While it would be fun for me to go, it is not imperative to the mission of the crusade to go at that exact time and both of us leaving the kids for 3 weeks just is not realistic nor something we feel God is calling us to do as a couple right now. Court is just a week away and then Marlon will officially and legally be Isaiah's father (something he's been in love and spirit since he was just a few months old.) I helped Jackie (a girl from teen MOPS) move and it was a good bonding experience for us. We went to a prison on Sunday (thanks mom and dad AGAIN for helping out with the kids)and an inmate, Angela and I had a great talk about leaving a negative relationship.

Tonight I went to a very fun pearl jewelry party. Thanks Roberta :) for inviting me. If I have one you'll all have to come because it is very cool. You get to actually pick out the oyster you want and then the consultant pulls it open and inside is the pearl==you pay 8.95 (to have it set in one of their jewelry pieces) and the pearl could be worth over $100!! One woman pulled out a really beautiful blue pearl. It's amazing to me how something as ugly as an oyster can produce such a beautiful gem as a pearl!

Well--off to switch the laundry and then get some sleep!

Another week...

Another week gone by...it was my birthday on Monday, I'm now 35 years old!!! It's strange because sometime that feels so old and others I remember that, God willing, I have a ton of life left.

I was able to go to Teen MOPS a couple of weeks ago and lead the discussion. I gave some of my testimony and talked about "new relationships". Last night I was able to go for some of the graduation and last one of the year and it was amazing...like 4 girls came up to me and asked for my number and gave me theirs because they said they needed to talk to me, that my story was just like theirs and they needed help, that they wanted help on what to do...it brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of what a put in a post awhile back...

God is good and He can use our junk to touch others and plant those seeds.

Isaiah

This is our handsome oldest son Isaiah. And tomorrow he'll be 10 years old!!
It's amazing to me that so much time has passed...I remember finding out I was pregnant and wondering what I was going to do. I already had one child, I was almost done with college, I lived with a friend and her daughter...
God is so good and faithful and merciful-even when we certainly don't deserve it.

Let me tell you about Isaiah.
Isaiah is very sweet and thoughtful. He is the boy who worries about others. He is also a leader and expects people to behave appropriately---whether that is his younger brothers or classmates. He is very smart and does well in school. Isaiah loves to sing but would never sing in public because it isn't "cool" :) I have nicknamed him, Cool Breeze, because he cares about his hygiene and grooming in a way that is odd for a young boy...he loves clothes as much as video games...he rarely shows that he is upset or irritated...and the girls (including adult ladies like teachers and friends) all comment on how wonderful he is...lol. It's really quite funny. What I love about him is the way he loves God and is not ashamed to tell it. School papers, discussions in class--he brings up that he is a Christian and proud of it.

I thank God for a such a son.

Random stuff

So Wednesday I spoke at Teen MOPS. And I was reminded how my testimony, all of the sordid situations I put myself in...and all of the time I spent wandering...was for a purpose. I have specific things to share with those girls. I have specific ways that I can relate to them. I have specific gifts to touch them with. Had my path been different, it probably wouldn't be so. I know what it's like to feel lost and broken in a sinful world, making sinful choices. I know what it's like to feel like you could never be a "good" Christian because of how others will judge your past. I know what it's like to feel ill-equipped to share the gospel because reciting scripture isn't second nature. And I know that all of that is a farce. While I do have a responsibility to grow in my knowledge and mature in my faith...I don't have to meet certain qualifications before I can spread the truth about who God is and the transforming way He has touched my life. When I see them...those young girls chasing after no good boys, laughing at sex and making it a joke, using their sexuality to "get ahead", choosing to live in denial and choosing to ignore the warnings that their behavior needs to change...I see myself. What I used to be.

I don't want them to wait until their mid to late 20s as I did to seek out the Lord. I want them...at 15, at 18, at 20...to see that the kingdom of the Lord can be theirs too. It's better to allow Him in now, than think you have tomorrow to shape up. Tomorrow isn't granted and your eternal salvation is nothing to play with.

I look around Elmbrook-at the staff, at the pastors and at the congregation...and I see how little I have in common with many of them and yet how much. Little because there are few there who've hung in the hood and ran from shots next door at a 4th of July party. Little because there are few there who've dealt with the racism that my family has had to. Much because Christ has laid down His life for each of us. Much because my God of all is theirs too. We can learn much from each other. I like being different and am so grateful to God that He made me just who I am. I pray that I continue to go exactly where He wants me to go, exactly when He wants me to.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack....

Howdy all!! Remember me? I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've posted anything!!!
You get busy, then it's been awhile, then it seems like there's too much to post...lol. I finally just decided to just pick back up.
School is almost over for the kids--I know that the boys are very excited because they are going to get to switch back to Heyer. There have been some racial issues at White Rock, horrible fighting and bullying on the playground and also a principal who we do not trust, so we finally made the decision to send them back to Heyer.
Jordyn is still doing amazingly well in school. She is switching to all AP classes in the fall. This will give her more challenge. We'd rather she was a B student being stretched than an A+ student and never having to work or grow.
Some amazing things have happened in the last two weeks. It seems we're going to Zambia for a crusade! We're just praying over the details of when. Elmbrook is currently hosting an international center with 21 men and women from all over the world. A man from Zambia, Kilyoni Kilunde, is staying with friends of ours. He was telling them that he would love to meet someone here who could come to Zambia and help out with the crusade. Sue said that immediately she just saw Marlon and was telling Kilyoni about him. Then on the next Sunday, he was at Elmbrook and observed me leading worship with the kids--he told her how wonderful and that they didn't engage the kids that way in Zambia. Sue was like, "that is the wife of who i was telling you about!" then Marlon and Kilyoni met and Kilyoni told him that he felt God was saying he was the one. A few days later, a missionary couple we met in April, who are home on furlough but stationed in Zambia, ran into Marlon in the hall and they said we must come and that we can stay in their home while we were there!!
There is no denying that it seems there is great opportunity for us to go to Zambia and work together with Kilyoni for God's kingdom!
please pray with us about God's timing and that if it is his will all of the details will fall right into place and if it isn't the doors will shut tight so that we will know it.