My, my, my
I tell you this....sometimes ministry is just about the hardest darn thing there is in life. One of my close pastor friends told me the other day that in effective ministry and speaking the truth you will have at least 5 people mad at you at any given time. More and more I see how this is true.
In a discussion I was a part of at James Place (a new community ministry that Elmbrook is starting in downtown Waukesha) I noticed something about myself. I am harder on other Christians than I am on the non-believers and seekers in my life. We discussed how for a lot of Christians it's the opposite. They give more grace and understanding to their Christian brothers and sisters than those they are ministering to. Especially in urban or street ministry where those coming to you are broken, making bad choices, living in sin. It's easy to prejudge or have ideas about them that border on stereotypes. I am the opposite. I was told by someone it's because that is my calling--I am not sure about that, but I do know it's true that I am harder on other believers than anyone else. That certainly includes myself. (part of the reason for my little meltdown at work===whole different post I just can't get into yet)
As I analyze a situation that just occurred within the last day, I see how in an attempt to try and show a fellow sister in Christ how her actions could come across as hateful and judging...I instead made her feel hurt, angry and embarrassed. Part of me is like----good. You should be embarrassed. You need to take a look at what you say and do and how it reflects on Christ. Another part of me is like----why did I need to call her out? Why didn't I just ignore it as I've done other times? Or quietly deal with it one on one? If I'm honest---I know there is a part of me that is so frustrated with Christians who try to bring others to Christ by banging them over the head with it...pushing their opinions on them...mindlessly spewing out other people's ideas without really knowing what they stand for. But I must have the same love and compassion for my Christian brothers and sisters as I do for those I am reaching out to for Christ. I can't effectively lead if I don't speak the truth. I can't effectively lead if I don't challenge those around me to grow and change and self-evaluate. BUT...I also can't effectively lead if I let frustration dictate how I approach people. I apologized for calling her out in front of others. But I do not apologize for speaking the truth. We butt heads often because we rarely see eye to eye on ANYTHING...lol...I'm okay with that because I think it's part of how we grow and change and learn. I don't think that she is and so I will be more careful in how I approach her.
Whew. I think emotional, head work is much more tiring than physical work!!
