Friday, December 12, 2008

Friendships...

Tonight I am sitting here thanking God for the gift of friendship of wonderful Christian women that I have in my life. This has not always been the case.

I have always made friends easily. So in my life...there have always been friends, kick it partners, my road dogs, my hoe phi hoe gals. Yes I said..hoe phi hoe. If you didn't know...now u know.

When I got married and became a Christian...I had to separate myself from the life I had been living. My life was engulfed in sinful behaviors. My girls were still my girls. But a LOT had to change. I couldn't hang out like I had...didn't want to. But I had no women who were heading the way I was heading. I had no women who could hold me accountable. No women to challenge me, encourage me or walk with me in my new found faith.

Marlon joined Top Gun shortly after our wedding and instantly connected with this great group of men. They were and still are some of his closest friends. He began pressuring me to find friends. He began pushing me almost into finding women. It drove me crazy.The more he suggested people or tried to make the spouses of his friends-my friends. The more I bucked. I was determined not to have any Christian female friends. After all, weren't they all just a bunch of doormats anyway? Didn't they all have cheery, Martha Stewart homes and Martha Stewart bread baking in the oven? I was sure that none of them had ever perculated in the club or drank a whole bottle of Cisco. I was sure that none of them had engaged in premarital sex or occasionally felt like suffocating their husband with the pillow in an inappropriate fit of immature anger. I thought this meant I would never be able to sneak into the Christian Sister's Club.

So I became comfortable with the fact that I had no Christian friends. And my friendships with some of my old friends were different and odd because my life was different and I felt odd around them. It really wasn't anything they did at all..but it just was. So in essence I felt like I had no friends.Thankfully I've always had a good relationship with my mom and sister...they've been friends as well as family...but they were new believers too.

Eventually Marlon gave up forcing the issue. I am not sure if he got tired or just decided to pray for me or just accepted that I would be friendless...lol...but the pressure was off.I am not sure how and when and what changed in me...or why these friendships were suddenly able to grow and flourish and exist, but I am so grateful and blessed by them.

Tonight I am thanking God for the blessing of my friendships. I have the joy of mentoring friendships---younger women who have similar struggles..need an older, wiser voice, (um. yes-there are some who consider me older and wiser--go figure...lol) as well as just plain old goofy friends who have known me forever and walked through storms of life with me, as well as strong believing women who ask the hard questions, pray for me, challenge my thinking when it needs to be, bring me back to the Truth when I need it, as well as older women who have been there and can offer advice to me. Some of my friends are believers, some aren't, some I don't think are sure. It doesn't matter. They are all valuable in my life.

God is so good. I thank Him for my friends. I thank Him for knowing what we need and then bringing it into our lives. I pray that my friends know how important they are, how I value and appreciate them and how they help sharpen me. I pray that I am the kind of friend to them that they need.

To God be the Glory.

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