Tomorrow is not promised....

Wow---we leave in 3 days! That's crazy!! Not even sure where to start.

My cousin passed away early Tuesday morning. My 2nd cousin---55 years and no definate word on happened. She went into the hospital last week and every test they ran was coming back negative. There just didn't seem to be a reason for what was happening...and then early Tues. she died. While mortality is something I've always been okay with accepting....I mean I know we are all going to die sometime---when it comes so unexpectedly, so suddenly it just floors you. The funeral is Friday and I'm thankful that we will be around to go before leaving. My heart is just aching for her kids and her mother. My dad and aunts and uncles who remember a funny, goofy girl they played with growing up and partied with as young adults...I knew her to be a riot---always laughing and cracking jokes but she had a lot of hard times in her life and many sad things happening...I think I'm a little numb really.

Leaving has me both excited and yet a little worried about how everything is going to run while we're gone. Believe me, I am certainly not prideful enough to think that life won't go on without us...lol...there's just so much with our kids and my job especially that makes wonder a little how it is all going to fall into place. I have off today and tomorrow---still some work to do to be prepared to leave, but nothing I have to be at church for. My head was swimming yesterday as I was trying to remember each little detail in hopes that there would be no big glitches while I am gone. I have to remember that life is short and no day is promised to us so to worry about that which I have no control is a total waste of energy.

What can I control other than my own actions and reactions? Everything else--I have no control over. If while I am gone a problem arises---I won't be there to handle, so why worry or stress over how others handle it? It's very nice to know that I'll be missed and that they need me, but there's also a lot of pressure in that because then a lot rides on me as well. As for the kids, there's just so much that I feel a little bad for my parents to have to swallow all of that, but again, they are happy to do it and haven't made us feel that it's a chore at all. So I go released.

Here's my to do list:

Finish lists for camp week 4 and 5
Change voicemail at work
Create "cheat sheets" for camp while I am gone
Laundry
Pack the 6 of us (I did start that today at least)
Clean (I hate coming home to a dirty house)
Give Chloe a good bath and grooming (my friend Roberta is taking her for us)
Elijah's birthday party is today
Funeral is tomorrow
Marlon's family is having dinner for us tomorrow before we go
Go to Walmart to buy a bunch of stuff Brother Bob needs
Try and stop by the Teen MOPS picnic on Sat.
Take Isaiah to Spano's on Sat.
Cry a little I'm sure...lol
Take Chloe to Roberta's on Sat. night
Double check the calendar and contact info. I gave my parents for the kids
Go to the bank
Dye my hair

um...ok, based on that list, of which I am sure I am missing something, I better get off this computer and get to work!!! Much love to each of you---I'll be back!