Will We Ever Get it Right?

Thank you all for your prayers yesterday. Court went as expected. In Wisconsin there is now 6 months before it is final. I do believe that there is something happening...moving within her as she cried the entire time and would not really look at Rafe. Afterwards he tried to speak to her and she really wouldn't even talk to him. We can't control or force someone's else's thoughts, feelings, actions, heart...I've let him know that he can only focus on and take responsibility for himself and how he responds to this. I'll just keep praying...

It did get me thinking though....about marriage....the work it is....how everything in our society works against it succeeding. We see around us and are taught that we should expect only the best in life. We see around us and are taught that there is always something better out there to strive for. We see around us and are taught that we deserve a happy ending. This is not the truth. This destroys the very foundation of marriage. We can't buy into those myths.

Myths

#1 We should only expect the best in life.

God's word says different. God's word is living and breathing and true. You can believe in that just as sure as you can believe you will see your reflection in a mirror.

Romans 5:3 "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverence, and perseverance, character; and character, hope."

James 1:2 "My brothers, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience."

We will experience trials...rough times in life. We will endure hardship and pain. We will suffer. Why should we not? Didn't Christ himself suffer the most extreme hardship and pain of all? To mercifully give up His life to save the world...for sins He was not even capable of committing? And yet we, in our arrogance, dare to think that we should only experience happiness, success, fulfillment. This erodes marriage. When times are hard, when things are rough and we aren't "happy"...we use this as a reason to walk away. We use this as a reason to turn our spouse in for a better model. We will be hurt by our spouse. They will fail us. They will make mistakes. They will sin. And aside of abuse that compromises safety or a hardened heart that will not turn from evil...my personal belief now is that there is no other justifiable reason to divorce.


#2 There is always something better out there to strive for.

Oh this one is rich. It's the American dream. The pie in the sky mentality that we should always be searching for the ultimate "whatever". Car, home, job, looks, and yes mate. There is no freedom in that and you never allow yourself to experience the peace and joy of the Lord if you are always searching. My life verse is this:

Philippians 4:11,12 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in every and any situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Be content. Enjoy what you have. Look to your surroundings and rejoice in them. There is no freedom in "keeping up with the Jones's". This "reach for the stars" mentality is not fully a bad thing. Don't get me wrong here. I am not saying that we should never set goals and try to achieve them. What I am saying is that this becomes a mantra and ideology that gives us permission to end a marriage. Gained some weight? Have an irritating habit? Lost your job? Had an accident that leaves you disfigured? Not aging well? Better beware because in our society these are all things that have become justifiable reasons to leave someone. No. In any and all situations. Not only the ones your friends approve of. Not only the ones you think are acceptable. Any and all.

#3 We deserve a happy ending.

Well, first the problem with this is that we've lost sight of what a happy ending is. Eternity with our God in Heaven is the only happy ending that we need to be concerned with. Do we deserve that? No. But thank God that He gave us a way to have it anyway, through His son, Jesus Christ.

A spouse can't give us that. A spouse can't give us a happy ending. And so when we try to give our spouse that power...when we rely on them to make us happy...when we expect them to fill our hearts...we will be disappointed. There is only one way to a happy ending and there is only one ending that matters.

John 14:6 "Jesus said to Him, I am the Way and the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father exept through Me."

John 3:3 "Jesus answered and said to him, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."

Only through Christ. Only by belief that He is the Son of God. That is our happy ending. A happy ending is not a white picket fence, 2.5 outstanding children, fancy cars, expensive vacations, a dashing Prince Charming (or Cinderella) on our arm and romantic, candlelit dinners by the fireplace. Our happy ending comes only at a price that we could never pay.

Just some thoughts to think.

Mindy <><