today was a good day.

the sun was out and i can't remember a day when i was so content

thank u God for ur forever love

When it rains it pours...

Well people...as you know from my previous post...there has been some ministry turmoil in my life. There are actually two situations occurring in my home at this present time. My husband is dealing with some MAJOR issues with his ministry agency and this, as a result, has trickled out to our church--who is one of his financial supporters. The lack of accountability, leadership and protection by his ministry agency is simply appalling to me...and that having been said I'm going to shut my mouth about it because I don't want to make things any worse then they are. We are seeking counsel about how to proceed and what the next step is.

The other situation is one that I am dealing with at work. Things have escalated to an all time high and it is much more than just a different "flava" in ministry. In an e-mail to me...this person gave extensive and detailed changes that he wants made in the curriculum lessons because he believes in doing the best lessons and his really are the best choices (his words not mine) and then proceeded to end his e-mail with this, Mindy, if I could somehow sell my company and do your job for my pay, I would be after your job tomorrow!
We have made this man a leader and Deacon in our ministry...we have given him power and authority over the 8 years he has been in Children's Ministry...there have been hundreds of inappropriate comments...and it has culminated with this statement.

I must admit that as I was first reading the e-mail I was not surprised. There was an issue earlier in the week (which resulted in the post on Thursday) that was taken care of in a way he did not like and I was told that his behavior at church today was simply appalling. I was a little concerned that something was up because both his wife and son barely spoke to me and would not make eye contact when I said hello. From past experience I had a feeling that if he let the other situation lie...there would be another issue that would suddenly become a battle. Just as he has been around for 8 years...I have as well and the entire time we have served in the same department. I know of his antics in Children's Ministry well. I was totally unprepared, however, for the personal attack at the end of his lengthy e-mail. I felt as if I had been spit on or punched in the stomach.

My gut reaction was shock...then anger...then I cried...then weary. There was nothing of Jesus in that e-mail. I agonize for hours when sending this man e-mails, pray with our Pastor when I know there may be difficult conversations so that I can exemplify Jesus. So that I stay armored up. I am not saying this for kuddos, because I know that is what I am called to do. But that's just it. Those are attributes, expectations that we should have for a leader in the church. I am not saying that I always succeed in being Christ-like in my interactions...of course not. But the desire to be obedient to the Holy Spirit and reflect the light of Jesus always needs to supercede my desire to tongue lash. How did we get to the situation where we have a leader, an appointed leader at that (being a Deacon) who is allowed to get away with this for YEARS?

Today I am meeting with my Pastor to discuss this further (he cc'd her on the e-mail) She is going to meet with him individually and correct him and let him know that he needs to apologize. I don't want his apology if it isn't sincere. I know that I am called to forgive and I will do the internal work I need to in order to do so. Quite honestly, I am still a little shocked that someone would be so bold as to put those words in an e-mal...not that they would think them...but that they'd put them in an e-mail...lol. But I know and believe that words can't hurt me and this morning I am really more annoyed than anything by his statement. Part of me wants to say...oh boy---come and take my job because I can't deal with volunteers like you anymore...lol! What does concern me though is the fact that I know this is not the first time something like this has occurred. It's not even the second time...or tenth time...or sixtieth time. Jesus loved, he forgave, he was gentle and kind. He also corrected and told the truth.

Please pray for me and my Pastor today as we meet to talk about this, pray, figure out how to proceed, what to do. Pray for our ministry and that we are able to keep this out of Sunday mornings. The feeling around the department yesterday was one of turmoil and frustration. Pray for him and his family. That he is able to fully experience the joy of Christ and the privilege it is to serve Him. Pray for me...that I am able to stay humble, kind, loving...while speaking the truth and seeking God's direction at all times in my leading.

Have a great day and may you fully experience God's grace today!!

When Your "Flavor" Doesn't Jive in Ministry...

What can you do when individuals in ministry suck you of your joy, patience and their negativity, cynicism and selfishness leave you with a bad taste in your mouth??

PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY...definitely.

But sometimes, sometimes you just need to tell them about themselves as well.


It's funny how when I have a "Praise the Lord" moment like I did on Tuesday (read my Unity note if you haven't) it is often followed by a "What in the world am I doing this for?" moment.
Here's what I've found works for me to put things in perspective...

1) What is truth and what is just worldview? For me, this is especially important to keep in mind working where I do. My life experience and my world view is VERY, VERY different than many other people that I work with. This is a result of my family, my ethnicity, my past, my flava...if you will. Some of that does not make me right and the other person's opinion wrong. It does not make them right and me wrong. Being unified does not mean agreeing with everything or with becoming a cookie cutter Christian.

2) Take a breath and process. When I gut respond to things that I find offensive or questionable..I've found that I am almost ALWAYS responding in the flesh. Flesh Mindy---she's pretty jazzy, sarcastic, crass and socially inappropriate. Spirit Mindy---well, quite honestly is still pretty jazzy and what others consider socially inappropriate...lol...but she is definately not as sarcastic or crass. Taking myself away from the situation/phone call/conversation/e-mail for a bit definitely helps with perspective.

3) Remember that Christ loves this person. This person is His child. I only know what I see...not what is in the innermost part of their heart. It isn't my job to judge them or change them or make them see things my way.

4) I am only responsible for my actions and my reactions. If they behave inappropriately that is there's to deal with. If I do...that's all me.

5) Sometimes...after working through all of this...uncomfortable conversations still need to be had. Conflict needs to be resolved and yes, sometimes they need to be told about themselves...lol. When I am in the wrong, I want someone to tell me about myself too. This doesn't have to be done rudely, angrily with a scolding tone. It can be done in the Spirit and with love. It can be done simply because in holding others accountable=there is sometimes correction.

6) Often times...what I'm finding is that the person is just who they are. They have no desire to grow, change, find middle ground. They want you to change to their viewpoint and might just through a tantrum if you don't. This one is always hard for me because I dont respond well to bullying, tantrum throwing or threats. But what I can do is continuously extend grace...keep my eyes focused on Jesus...and set about His business.

What in the world am I doing this for?

Him. His call on my life is greater than any uncomfortable conversation...it's greater than any ignorance...and it's greater than being aggitated by bullies who think if they rant and rave they will get their way.

My focus must remain, at all times, bringing glory to His kingdom...by loving the Lord, my God with all my heart, mind, soul and spirit and loving others as myself. All others. Not just the ones I agree with or like.

Contentment

My little friend from Kids Kamp, **Jill**, came and found me on Sunday. It was the first Sunday school and a little chaotic to say the least.

Out of the blue, I saw my little friend running up to me. We hugged that same tight squeeze we did at camp. She let me know that she needed my address again because she had lost it. She thanked me for the card and bracelet I had sent her. I asked how school was going. Was she getting along with her sister....

But our eyes and smiles connected in a different way than our small talk let on. There was that forever bond...that knowing that we shared something special...remembering that moment in time.

I love those moments when you can do nothing but smile in contentment.

A blessing...

I love how God can use all different ways to bless. How simple things, unexpected people and random acts of kindness just show up at unforeseen times. Tonight in Clubhouse Kids I was awed at seeing His hand at work.

Due to some unexpected things we were going to be a few people short tonight. I sent an e-mail asking a few people if they might be able to step in and help...just to make sure we'd have everything covered.Once we got in the swing of things...the amazing things I saw just made me so full of peace that I had to share and write this....

Unity–noun, plural -ties. 1. the state of being one; oneness. 2. a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one. 3. the state or fact of being united or combined into one, as of the parts of a whole; unification. 4. absence of diversity; unvaried or uniform character. 5. oneness of mind, feeling, etc., as among a number of persons; concord, harmony, or agreement.
That is the Websters definiton of Unity.

Scripture says...1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. (Eph 4:1-6)

THAT. THAT is what I saw tonight. That kind of unity.


People coming to serve that have absolutely NO connection to Clubhouse Kids. No kids enrolled, no sense of obligation, no reason to be there. It was not about the program or what they were going to get from it. It was about knowing that there was a need, feeling the call to come and then agreeing to be there. One not even hearing or knowing about it until 10 minutes prior.


People serving alongside each other who might never otherwise connect. Doing it as an organic entity...like the human body. The body is made up of many different parts...but not different parts assembled together like a car or a building. It starts as a cell...and grows and changes and develops into the whole. Like the body. Like what I saw tonight...the Spirit is like that. It connects and changes and becomes one. Tonight I saw the Spirit throughout Clubhouse Kids.


To be fully unified...all of the parts must function together, yet independently. There can be no pride, no division, no seperation. While there is unity...there is not conformity or uniformity. There is diversity. There is freedom of individuality. There is acceptance of others. Each role is important. There is no star. There is no pride. As I look back over the evening, I have such joy as I think about what I saw.


I am so excited to see what God is going to do this year in Clubhouse Kids. I am thankful that I get to be a part of it. I am grateful to the many people that have been praying for me...my sanity, my leadership, my work load. I am filled with JOY when I see the faces of the kids as they share with their parents what they learned about...how nice their teacher is...that they really wish it wasn't time to go home.
Tonight the church body came together and served in UNITY and I just had to share it!!
To God be the Glory!!

Blessing...

I love how God can use all different ways to bless. How simple things, unexpected people and random acts of kindness just show up at unforeseen times. Tonight in Clubhouse Kids I was awed at seeing His hand at work.Due to some unexpected things we were going to be a few people short tonight. I sent an e-mail asking a few people if they might be able to step in and help...just to make sure we'd have everything covered.Once we got in the swing of things...the amazing things I saw just made me so full of peace that I had to share and write this....Unity–noun, plural -ties. 1. the state of being one; oneness. 2. a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one. 3. the state or fact of being united or combined into one, as of the parts of a whole; unification. 4. absence of diversity; unvaried or uniform character. 5. oneness of mind, feeling, etc., as among a number of persons; concord, harmony, or agreement. That is the Websters definiton of Unity.Scripture says...1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. (Eph 4:1-6)THAT. THAT is what I saw tonight. That kind of unity.People coming to serve that have absolutely NO connection to Clubhouse Kids. No kids enrolled, no sense of obligation, no reason to be there. It was not about the program or what they were going to get from it. It was about knowing that there was a need, feeling the call to come and then agreeing to be there. One not even hearing or knowing about it until 10 minutes prior. People serving alongside each other who might never otherwise connect. Doing it as an organic entity...like the human body. The body is made up of many different parts...but not different parts assembled together like a car or a building. It starts as a cell...and grows and changes and develops into the whole. Like the body. Like what I saw tonight...the Spirit is like that. It connects and changes and becomes one. Tonight I saw the Spirit throughout Clubhouse Kids.To be fully unified...all of the parts must function together, yet independently. There can be no pride, no division, no seperation. While there is unity...there is not conformity or uniformity. There is diversity. There is freedom of individuality. There is acceptance of others. Each role is important. There is no star. There is no pride. As I look back over the evening, I have such joy as I think about what I saw. I am so excited to see what God is going to do this year in Clubhouse Kids. I am thankful that I get to be a part of it. I am grateful to the many people that have been praying for me...my sanity, my leadership, my work load. I am filled with JOY when I see the faces of the kids as they share with their parents what they learned about...how nice their teacher is...that they really wish it wasn't time to go home. Tonight the church body came together and served in UNITY and I just had to share it!!To God be the Glory!!

180

So this is a picture of my Elijah (yes the dancing boy from the joy post a few days ago!) taking down the competition on the football field last weekend. Because I do not know a lot about sports I do not often catch good action shots...lol. I never know what's happening next on the field...where the next play is gonna go...in fact, I just shared with a friend today that up until a few months ago I thought the yellow/blue/green lines that you see on the field when you watch a football game---were really there!! lol Sad, but true.

So what's the significance of sharing this picture.

Me taking this picture...and loving it...and yelling at the top of my lungs as it happened...is a total 180 from where I thought I would be with football. When Elijah first started in flag football...I was covering my eyes all of the time during the game...lol. Even last year when he first played tackle...I winced a lot and had to hold my breath quite often when he was on the bottom of the pile. This year he and Isaiah are beyond rough. They play with a fire and play hard. They strive to annihilate the competition and I love it...lol. How and when did that happen...I'm not quite sure.

So that got me thinking about other areas of parenting where there's been a 180 and I'm not sure how and when it happened.

....trying to be my kids friend...I thought that mattered. Not more than being a parent, but still...I wanted them to like me. Now I know that if I focus on what I need to be with parenting...I don't have to try to have them like me. Somehow they just do. It's not about friendship...it's about love and respect and enjoying spending time together. family is more than friend. family trumps pals.

....trying to be supermom...is a waste of time. Having the most ultra clean home, amazing home cooked meals every single day, perfectly ironed clothing hanging in the closet, coordinated bath towels hanging on the rack...doesn't impress them. Not more than loving them, accepting them, comforting them, disciplining them, challenging them. They love me regardless of whether or not there are dishes in the sink or crumbs on the floor.

....I thought I'd never want them to leave...and if they did....couldn't they live right next door? Now I want them to fully embrace whatever God has for them. I want them to experience His world...to see life as more than just southeastern WI. I pray that they will be obedient to His leading and if that means not living close to me...not seeing me everyday then I'm okay with that. Doesn't mean I won't miss them...but what joy it will be to see them seeking His will and following His plan! This is especially true as Jordyn is in her senior year. While it is still a little shocking to me to have a child that old. I am all about her travelling, studying a year abroad, going out of state for college...finding out her path and going where He would have her.

....finally...I've done a 180 from thinking that my life has to revolve around them. While I love being a mom...and since making it a commitment to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman/mom I have become a far better mom...I know that none of that means that my life has to revolve around them. When I lose me...when I don't give myself significance separate from them...I don't have me to offer to them. When I don't take time to just be alone...enjoy doing some things that I like to do...I am more stressed and irritated. When I give in or allow them to run over me...I don't model to them the fact that sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes you are disapponted. When they see me fully embrace life, seeking out God's will, being obedient and fully engaged in life as a woman, leader, parent, wife, child...they see a whole woman.

So anyway...that's what I got today. All stemmed from a lil picture of a big tackle.

Modern Day Parenting of Boys...

You may or may not know the song "Damaged" by Dannity Kane. It's got a thumpin' beat and the girls are "wayyyy fine" (to quote my son Isaiah). The other day it was on in the car and we were all jammin' to it. If you've never heard it...to give you an idea...this is a part of the chorus...

Damaged...so damaged
I thought that I would let you know
That my heart is damaged...so damaged
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it

I turned it down a bit to talk to the boys for a sec...and this is the conversation that ensued...

Me: "Hey guys...do you know what this song means?"
Isaiah: "um...she's damaged?"
Izzy: "she wants me to fix it"
Me: "Fix what?"
Elijah: "her heart?"
Isaiah: "yeah..like the new guy has to take care of her now."
Me: "Hm. What do you think about that?"
This is followed by blank stares and shrugged shoulders from all three boys.
Me: "Well, think about it...it sounds like another boyfriend hurt her and now she might have problems and issues that she hasn't dealt with and as a new potential boyfriend she's telling him that it's his problem and she's wondering how he's going to fix her."
Isaiah: "yeah."
Me: "but can you fix someone else?"
Izzy: "naw...they gotta fix themselves."
Me: "well if they turn to God, He will help them. He can heal, fix, solve any problem. But there are girls out there...who have been hurt....and they will look to boys/men to "fix" them."
Elijah: "why?"
Me: "well, there are a lot of reasons. sometimes they do it on purpose, sometimes they just don't handle their problems well and sometimes they don't even realize how damaged they are. but it is very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is damaged."
Isaiah: "yeah...cuz she's probably all messed up and crazy...lol"
Me: "well, the thing is...you might not always know that she's damaged. there isn't like a "look" to it. but as you get to know someone...there will be some things that you'll notice/see and that will be a red flag to keep your distance."
Elijah: "back off sister!"
Me: "well, you don't have to be mean...but yes, in a way...because when you are young and when someday you get to the age where you can date...or in college when you have a serious girlfriend..."
Isaiah (interrupting): "um mom...I'm gonna have a girlfriend before college, thank you very much."
Elijah: "you wish"
Izzy: "you already do! He already does! I know because I heard him..."
Me (interrupting): "hey, hey...can we get back to the damaged girls for a minute..."
Three heads nod.
Me: "If and when you meet a girl who is damaged...and if and when she lets you know that she's expecting you to fix her...let her know that you can be her friend, you'd like to pray for her, but that you aren't a fix it man and she should give you a call when she gets herself together. You want a whole, healthy woman who has dealt with her damaged issues. It doesn't matter if she's been damaged...but she has to have that taken care of before you can go there with her."
Isaiah: "dang mom...that's cold."
Elijah: "watchya...ta loco!"
Me: "Not cold. Just real. Damaged girls can come out great. I know...I was a damaged girl. God can redeem anything. But it's best to just be their friend and let them heal. You can't fix anyone and it's just a big mess for everyone if you try. Ok?"
Isaiah: "ok mom."
Me: "for real. for real, for real. do you get it?"
All three chime in: "yeah. we get it."
(long pause as I turn the music back up...then...)
Izzy: "hey mom..."
Me: "yes?"
Izzy: "Isaiah does have a girlfriend you know."
Isaiah reaches back to begin to pummel his brother and the moment is lost.

Lord, just take me now. :)

Joy...

We get caught up in ruts. We stress out over things that 1) aren't important or 2) we have no control over. We miss sweet blessings and peace because we don't allow JOY in our hearts.

For the most part I am a joyful person and I know that I do these things. So I believe that the folks out there who aren't joyful...the negative people who see the cup as half empty have to also these things.

But how can we just switch our minds....our actions....our hearts....to experience and enjoy...well, JOY?

I know for me, for me...

I sometimes have to make the conscientious decision to accept and experience it. Know that I am aware, as someone who has suffered from clinical depression...that there are times it is beyond our scope of comprehension and control to "choose" joy. I am not talking about people who are in a deep, dark place that they aren't able to bring themselves out of. I would never begin to suggest that someone should just "get over it" and smile. I have walked those lonely tunnels of the mind where nothing you do seems to help.

But a majority of the time...I think we do have the choice, the ability to decide to accept Joy. We make the mistake of equating joy with happiness. Joy is more than that. It's a deep contentment, a strong satisfaction, estatic pleasure...

"...though sorrow may last for the night, JOY comes in the morning...."
"...I bring you tidings of great JOY which will be to all people...."
"...these things I have spoken unto you so that my JOY may remain in you, and that your JOY is complete..."
"....ask and you will recieve, that your joy may be full..."

It's promised to us. Joy. Jesus makes our JOY complete.

If you are a Christian...live out your JOY. Experience your JOY, spread your JOY, embrace your JOY. This doesn't mean put on rose colored glasses and turn a blind eye to hurting people, to pain and suffering, to heartache. But as you enter into conversations with hurting people...don't hide your JOY either. As you walk through storms of pain and suffering...don't allow others to steal your JOY. When you counsel and witness to those with aching hearts...don't pretend that you don't have the JOY of the Lord as your strength. You do. He's told us. If we believe that He is who He is and that the Word is the living, breathing Word of God...then we must find our JOY and let it explode from in us.

Don't be afraid. You won't believe how good you're going to feel. It's not my promise. It's HIS!!



Now we might not all have the freedom to show our joy as my son Elijah....but oh, to be so free to just jump up and dance because we have that much joy in our hearts....




Whether you shimmy and shake like Elijah here....or just allow the sweet Joy of Jesus temper your thoughts, actions and heart....I challenge you to allow JOY to dictate your day. You might be suprised at the joy it will bring you!!

Kids Kamp Story #2

Friendship in unexpected places......and with unexpected people.

I have always made casual friends somewhat easily. I enjoy people, getting to know their stories, am a little nosy about what makes us tick and am fairly outgoing...so I usually have no problem making casual friends.

That being said...I was not prepared to make friends with so many people at Kids Kamp. I knew I'd have fun, meet some great people, have a lot of laughs...but not meet true brothers and sisters. Now there are different kinds of friends...this is very true. Not every friend is that close, daily accountability person, not every friend is that first phone call when something good or tragic happens...but that doesn't mean they aren't friends just the same.

Scripture tells us, "Where two or more come together in my name..there am I with them." (Matt. 18:20, NIV)

At Kids Kamp...we were ALWAYS coming together in His name. We played together, laughed together, ate together, praised together, learned together, prayed together, taught together, danced together...all in the name of Jesus. And I felt His presence in a way that paralleled my experience at the She Speaks conference.

Now the majority of the people that I spent significant time with for an ENTIRE week...are no longer a part of my daily life. Nor were they before camp. And yet...I consider them friends just the same. I pray for them. I smile when I think about them. When I randomly run into them I hug them and catch up. I genuinely love and respect them.

It has given me pause because it has made me realize the power of prayer and praise in another way. I've always loved the fact when I pray...when I communicate with my Father...I feel close to Him in a way that nothing else compares with. One of the reasons I love praise/worshipping through song so much is that I experience His presence in an incomparable way and can feel the Spirit move in me.

But what I now also see is that when I pray and praise Him with others...the connection and closeness I feel with them is something that not much else compares to either. Leaders that I hardly knew before that week...I now can't imagine not having met. This includes an intern who is only 18, a counselor who is 23 and a village leader who is 52! We have hardly anything in common...but that we love our Lord! Yet there is a bonding I don't quite know how to explain when you join together in His name. It's family. His family because He is there with You. And He is love...a Divine love that we will never fully comprehend and yet He allows us to experience it.

To God be the Glory!