Modern Day Parenting of Pre-Teen Boys..#2

Oh yes. It went there!

Now I will warn you. If you are not quite ready to hear what pubescent boys have to say and what they are thinking...you might not want to read this....

The other day as we were leaving the gas station I notice the boys giggling at the attendant who was sporting very attractive hickies on her neck.

Me: So I see you boys noticed the clerk's neck huh?
Boys: (in random order) Huh? What? Oh, um, those marks?
Me: You don't have to pretend...they were hard to miss. Do you know what those were?
Isaiah: Yeah, hickies.
Izzy: Hickies...hahahahahaMe: But what is a hickie?
Elijah: When someone kisses on your neck?
Isaiah: Well, not just kiss...
Me: What?
Isaiah: They gotta suck on it.
Izzy: On your neck? That's weird.

(Oh yes. Please continue to feel this way for at least another 6 years...please)

Elijah: Ohhhh....the girl I think is cute....her sister had a hickie!
Isaiah: ****?? (says name of the girl) She's hot.
Elijah: Yeah, she's in 8th grade.
Me: Do you think hickies are hot?

(now heed this warning...do not ask these kind of questions unless you are ready for the answers)

Isaiah: NO...I think it's kind of sick.
Me: But you still think *** is hot.
Isaiah: Yeah...
Elijah: Oh yeah
Me: Would you date her?
Izzy: We aren't allowed to date...
Me: (sigh) If you were allowed to date, would you date her?
Isaiah: Maybe.Me: That is hormones talking.
Izzy: What's hormones?
At this point Elijah turns beat red and starts laughing uncontrollably
Me: Remember when we talked about how during puberty your body is going to change? And how as you become a teenager you will sometimes have feelings that might make your heart race...your face feel warm...that's hormones.
Isaiah: Yeah...it's also what makes your pants...(he looks at me, smiles)..nevermind
Me: ANYWAY...your hormones can really mess things up if you don't remember to be focused on what's important.
Izzy: How?
Me: Well, look at what you just said. You guys thought hickies were gross. But when a girl that you think is hot had hickies you didn't say gross....it didn't change the way you thought about her because of your hormones and thinking she is hot.
Isaiah: Yeah...
Me: What do you think about a girl that has a hickie?
Isaiah: That's she's nasty...maybe a ho
Me: Would you want to date a girl like that? Any of you?
Boys: Naw...eww, that's nasty....no way...
Isaiah: Well, like she might be nice, like a friend, but I wouldn't want to date her.
Me: So why would you still think of *** as hot? Why would you still think about her? Because of hormones...it's why I want you boys not to think with your hormones...with your desires because it clouds your judgement. Remember that song we sang, "Man looks on the outside, but God looks...on the heart?" Well, it's true. But we should be trying to live and look on the inside because God's got it right. Let's say you were blind or I blindfolded you. You got to spend time knowing some girls. Someone also told you a little bit about them, but you couldn't see them. Say one you had a great conversation with...you had a lot in common...you laughed, had a great time. And another you didn't have anything in common with...she was a little rude and fast, flirting and talking inappropriately. Based on that alone---who would you pick as a girlfriend?Elijah: The one that I got along wth...
Isaiah: Yeah
Me: And what if when you took your blindfold off...you found out the other one was "hotter"? Isaiah: I get it. Looks aren't the most important thing.
Me: I just want you to try and put your hormones in check. You guys are too young to have a lot of the drama and stress that comes with dating, having girls as more than friends. You have raging hormones but don't really know what to do with them yet.
Elijah: How do you know?
Me: Because it's what made you say that hickies are gross and yet in the same breath say that you'd date a girl with a hickie because she's hot. Thinking with your mind and heart...you choose more wisely. Thinking with your hormones is 9 times out of 10 gonna lead to trouble.
Isaiah: So mom...
Me: Yeah?
Isaiah: Um, I know I can't have a girlfriend NOW (this is a boy who would love to call a particular girl his girlfriend)
Me: No...you aren't allowed to go anywhere with a girl alone..you aren't allowed to go on dates...so there really isn't a point to have a girlfriend. I know your gonna like girls...they are gonna like you...but there's no reason to have a girlfriend.
Isaiah: Ok. But how about 8th grade? Can we talk about it then?
Elijah: Sabes que....he really wants to date Victoria!!
Izzy: ooooo...Victoria!!
Me: Let's get through 7th grade before we go there ok?

One day at a time.

Learning and growing

I have been learning so much about myself, leadership, conflict, change in the last month...I am coming out of it growing and understanding, it's a good thing.

While there certainly isn't total peace in my heart yet about everything that is going on, there is commitment to stand firm in what Christ would have me do...respond as Christ would have me respond...

Tonight my boss and I are going to dinner with the volunteer who I have been having conflict with. More and more I see that I have to make the choice what to enter into. There are some key ministry decisions that might be best for the kids, the department, our mission to kids. These do not and should not reflect the fact that we don't get along the best. I want to always lead humbly, out of reverence for God's timing and with His hand on all situations. Dinner tonight was extended before the issue I talked about previously in my other post...but there was no reason not to keep it. In fact, how precious is God's timing that we would have this opportunity outside of the walls of the church, away from ministry to just break bread together. I have no grandiose expectations for the evening other than a chance to reach out and build bridges. Whether or not we see eye to eye or are each other's cup of tea...I want to do what I can to extend grace and love.

Scripture says to make every effort...and so I will. Not out of obligation, but out of a desire to be obedient and knowing that God will bless the situation and He goes before me.

I'll let you know how it goes. :)

It's all about You, Jesus!

Ok...she might just die of embarrassment...but I really just have to post this not simply because of bragging mom rights. :)I post this also...as full fledged proof of God's redeeming grace and forgiveness...His merciful way of taking our trash and making wonderful amazing things from it...His never-ending, no boundaries, unconditional love.Many of you know that I was 19 when I got pregnant.


Shortly after I turned 20 Jordyn was born and I was thrust into motherhood. For the most part, I was a good mom. But every moment that she was with her dad...I threw myself into a crazy, wild, "Girls Gone Wild" existence. I ran from God every chance I had. I kept Him in a box and brought Him out when I had messed up and needed a savior. It wasn't until many, many years later that I realized that what I really needed was a SAVIOR! It's been a whirlwind journey and I am continually in awe of my Jesus.


So when Jordyn brought this letter of recommendation home, well it brought me to tears. There are so many that would have looked at me....20 years old, a party girl, inexperienced young mom who basically grew up with my daughter, working full time and in college, relying so much on my parents....and never, never have imagined that my daughter would have turned out like this. Please read it as a reminder that NOBODY is ever a lost cause. Please know that I am not looking for kudos as her mom. As a parent I can take only a very small sliver of credit...He has created and gifted her to be an outstanding human being with an amazing future ahead of her. He has done that.


To whom it may concern,
It is with great pleasure that I recommend Jordyn Calderon to your university. I have had the opportunity to work with Jordyn throughout her high school experience as her yearbook advisor. Jordyn joined the staff during her sophomore year and quickly became one of the leaders of the yearbook class. She served as the junior editor and now is the senior editor. Such a title does not come without hard work and persistence. I am constantly impressed by Jordyn's ability to lead by example and the passion she puts into making a nationally recognized yearbook. It is obvious that the other staff members look up to her and that Jordyn has the necessary skills to become a successful teacher. In fact, I can not imagine a better teacher candidtate and can only hope that Jordyn will teach my children someday.
Jordyn is a very balanced young woman. I believe she has developed this characteristic by being involved in a variety of school and community activities. During her time at Waukesha South she has participated in National Honor Society, Prom Committee, stage crew and Yearbook. She has also spent time volunteering at her church and preparing various community events. During all of these time consuming activities Jordyn has maintained a part time job and outstanding academics. Academics are extremely important to Jordyn. She is a student who is constantly challenging herself and truly loves learning. She has taken and been successful in all eight of her advanced placement classes.Jordyn possesses many wonderful qualities.
However, one quality that I feel is in special need of recognition is her genuine sincerity towards others. Jordyn is a very caring person who can relate to all different types of people. I have seen Jordyn demonstrate this quality firsthand in the classroom and with her friends.
In closing, I hope you will consider Jordyn Calderon as an applicant to your university. By helping Jordyn pursue her dreams at your university..you will in turn be helping our society, for I know Jordyn will be a strong leader in her community in the years to come.



To God be the Glory.

Still here...

Hey everyone...

Did ya think I fell off the face of the earth? I was starting to feel that way too! There was a good couple weeks where there was nothing on my mind except praying for and dealing with the uncomfortable ministry situation that was occurring at my job. It made it very hard to focus on anything else and I found that every time I started to blog all I could talk about was that...and so I would stop myself. I don't like to be a squeaky wheel and I really don't like to run my mouth...so I found it best just to stay away...lol!!

Life has been good and gettng back to normal. I have a few speaking engagements scheduled for this fall and have already been booked for somthing next year. That's really exciting to me. :) I am always thankful for ways to share God's truth!!

Jordyn had her last high school homecoming dance tonight. Her friend did her hair and she looked soooo beautiful! I'll get some pictures posted tomorrow.

Well it's very late/early...lol...and I have a few friends coming to church tomorrow so I'd better get my lil hiney to bed! Plus...I need a good snuggle session with my hubby! My neck has been bothering me a lot lately and so I havent been able to snuggle. When it aches I have to switch positions so much....sometimes sleep some of the night in the recliner....not conducive to snuggling!! Just wanted to get a post up and let you know I am alive and well and as always...so thankful to God for His amazing grace, truth and love!!