The Pitchford Crew

even bathroom accidents!!

This is a story from the Kids Kamp experience...it is long...but there are some background details that are pertinent to the story, so please bear with me.

One of the young girls in our group was the odd man out. Most of it of her own doing. She is a home-schooled child (now please know I am not bashing home schooling here---I know there are many families that do a great job with home schooling, however, there are also families who do not) that seems to never have been taught social appropriateness, how to share, how to work together on a team to learn, how to raise her hand, how to let others finish speaking, how to not be perfect...no concept of group dynamics. The other 5 girls simply were not endeared to her. And I must admit, neither was I. During our counselor morning devotions I asked for prayer specifically that I could love her. I knew she was just a child (just 9 years old)...had high family expectations to be perfect (I know of this family from working in Children's Ministry)...and I wanted to leave at the end of the week knowing that I loved on her.

Throughout the beginning of the week there were repeated incidents where the drama ensued. Oh ladies...having a particurly mild mannered daughter and three wild boys...I was not fully aware of the drama that a group of girls ages 9-11 can have. Was I aware---of course. Fully aware? After being exposed to it for 24/7 for a full week...I can say I was not fully aware...lol. She was constantly losing something and blaming others, walking away from the group and then upset we left her, attempting to bully the others into doing what she wanted for free time, interrupting excessively during group bible study. And I prayed. And prayed. And prayed.

Then came Wednesday night. The evening activities were always really fun full camp games. Everyone would often be off on their own, or in small groups because there was staff/volunteers everywhere. This was the evening of the Mission Game. As the game was ending and the children were being ushered into Cross Timbers for worship and teaching...my little friend was nowhere to be found. Initially this was not suprising because on Monday and Tuesday she was always the very last child to come dashing in...lol. So I kept an eye out but got the others in the group situated. As we were waiting for things to get started two of the other girls asked to use the restroom. After it seemed they had been gone quite a while, I left Jordyn in charge and set out to find the missing Divas. I crossed paths with the two and they let me know that *Jill* (name changed for obvious reasons) was in the bathroom and had an accident. They also let me know that they had gone to the cabin to get her some clean clothes and a bag and that's what took them so long. One even said, "Aren't you glad that we were nice to her because she is never nice to us." Wow.

So I venture to the bathrooms to see what's up. As I enter the bathroom I am overtook by the intense smell of something so retched it simply couldn't have come from a little girl. Obviously, some boys in the camp have been collecting their bowel movements for the entire week and chose this moment to empty them into the girl's bathroom. Unfortunately no...lol. I tenatively call out for my friend..

"Jill? Jill?"
"Um..hello, yes? Mindy? Um...hi...be right out." The hurried, frightened voice stammered out.

I see her shuffling feet, dirty clothes and yes...the mess (which I will call it from now on) all over the stall floor. Poor thing.

"No hurry, hon. I'm here to help you."
"Oh..I don't need any help. Just fine thanks."

Mercy.

"Well, let's check it out anyway."

I enter the stall next to her and sit on the toilet. I lean against the wall between us and can hear her soft crying and hiccups.

"Jill, will you let me help you? I saw the girls on the way back to Cross Timbers and they let me know what happened."
"Oh. They did. Oh. Um, well I'm okay."
"You have clean things to put on?"
"Well, that's the thing...(big sigh)...they picked something I already wore, it's a little dirty."

I'm thinking, sister, it's 4 million times cleaner than what you HAD on...lol...

At this moment, the bathroom door swings open and some girls come in.
"Oh--my gosh--what in the world!"
"It stinks!"
"Ewww...that's nasty!"

Oh. My poor Jill. My heart is aching at this moment. I hear her deep breathing start up again. I stand up and go to the outside of her door. I motion to the girls to be quiet. The bathroom is now continuing to fill with girls as they have apparently been let on a bathroom break. Each one comes in with a louder yelp of disdain for what they are smelling. I hear Jill start to cry again.

Very quietly I lean away from the door and to the girls, "Shhh...be kind. You need to stop. Someone is sick, you need to show compassion." One girls says, "Oh...I was in here earlier, is that the little girl who was crying?" I nod. Now God bless this little girl because from that moment on as new people entered she quieted them. I had to turn away to laugh at one point because someone came in saying, "Why does it smell so awful in here!" and she responded, "It's a bathroom, duh!" lol

Back to my friend. I asked her to open the stall door just slightly. She did.

I have never been so consumed by compassion for someone before in my life. Her tear stained little face looking up at me, the pitiful state of the stall, clutching her nasty little bag of messy clothes...she said in a hushed voice,

"Please don't make me leave Mindy. I can't go out there."
"I'm sorry Jill. You're going to have to leave. We can't stay in here all night."
"Oh no. I can't walk out there. I just can't."
"Yes you can. Here's what you do. Take a deep breath. Look straight ahead and just walk quickly right out of the bathroom. You can walk right outside and wait for me by the rocks."
"What are you going to do?"
"Well, I'm gonna see about cleaning this up and then I'll meet you and we'll go back to the cabin."
"Oh, no...we don't need to, I'll just carry my bag."
Oh no you won't sister....lol.
"No, I think we need to go back to the cabin and take care of everything. But I'll handle this first. Go on, you can do it. Take a deep breath & walk right out." And she did.

So I turn to the stall and tackle my own private torture...cleaning up the mess. There is mess EVERYWHERE. On the floor, on the walls, on the toilet seat...Lord Jesus, what in the world was she doing in here? I start with the plunger and alas, it is torn and so not functioning properly. This leads me out to the kitchen to request another from the staff. I have the sense to ask for a pair of gloves as well. I return and for the next 10-15 minutes do my best to clean up, disenfect and scrub that little stall.

As I walk outside, I see her there. All curled up waiting for me. We walk back to the cabin hand in hand and I make small talk to distract her. The tears dry up. When we walk I tell her to have a seat on her bed and I'll be right there. When I go in, she looks so distraught and sad, my heart can't help but break a little for her. I sit down next to her and put my arm around her.

"Now what happened? Can you tell me?"
"Well, I've been constipated for a few days. The food here is not conducive with my normal diet. I could tell that I needed to go. While we were playing the game I felt it. But I thought I had enough time. Then I couldn't find a bathroom, why don't they have more bathrooms around here. I couldn't find one so I knew I had to run to the main one. So I was running and then so many people were in my way. Then some girls stopped to ask me something. I totally didn't have time to stop and talk to them, but I did. So then I knew I wasn't going to make it. And then it was too late and I...."
"Jill? Jill. It's okay. You had an accident. Accidents happen sometimes. You don't need to feel bad, or embarrassed...do you know that you aren't even the only one who has had an accident this week?"
"Really? Who else has?"
Mercy.
"Well, that's not important, what's important is that you know that you aren't alone. There's nothing wrong with you...you don't have to worry about it. It's ok."
"No it's not. It's gross. It's been years since I've had an accident. I can't believe it...it's so gross and then you had to help me...I'm so sorry you had to help."
"Oh no, don't be sorry. That's why I'm here. That's what I'm here for...to help. To take care of you. To make sure you're ok. It's all a part of it."
"Ok."
"So..now let's get you and the clothes cleaned up so we can join the rest of the group. I'll clean your clothes while you wash up and change."

She gasped and looked at me with horror in her eyes.
"Oh no way. I can't let you clean my clothes out!! I'll do it later"
"No, no. I'm going to do it. No questions asked. You're going to let me help you. I want to. (I want to? Did I just say that? lol) I have cleaned up mess before and Jill, it's not a problem. Now we're not going to argue about it. I'm helping take care of you. You can wash up and I'll wash out your clothes"
"Well, um....could you leave for a minute and then I'll meet you out by the bathrooms? Um, please?"

I'm thinking that the bag of mess is hidden somewhere in the room so I leave. We meet by the bathrooms and she says,

"I really wish you wouldn't do this."
"I know. But I'm glad you're letting me help you. It's really okay Jill. I'm a mom, I work with children, I used to be a CNA...I've cleaned out many sets of clothing in my day. No worries. You wash up."

As I open the bag I see the severity of the mess. Oh Lord, just take me now! This is definately a toilet washing job. So head over to a stall and gingerly start to take each article out. Now some of you might not know the toilet washing method. You put the clothing in the toilet water, shake it all around, flush the toilet and as you do let the clothing fall slightly down the drain (hold on tight) and pull up on the clothing. Repeat again and again until the mess is gone.

Jill approaches as I'm on the last article of clothing.
"Wow. That works good."
"Yep. It's a mom trick. The best way to clean up messes and see it's not even really gross for me to do it. Nothing to worry about. It's getting nice and clean."
"Um...so did someone teach you that? How do you learn how to do that?"
"You know what...I'm not sure how I know it. I just know that just about every mom I know...knows how. It's one of those mom things."
"I don't think my mom knows how."
"Oh, she might. If not, maybe you can teach her."
"Naw...I don't think so."
We go to the sink to get a final good hot water rinse and squeeze out the clothes. I let her know that we'll let them air dry and then find a plastic bag to put them in.
"Oh no we can't. Then my mom will know. I can't let them know."
"Why? It was just an accident. Accidents happen."
"Please no. Just don't tell them. It's horrible that it happened. It is so embarrassing and gross. I shouldn't have done it. Please don't, Mindy, please don't tell them. They can't know, they just can't."
She is pulling on my arm and looks like she is going to cry again.
"Will they be mad? Will you be punished?"
Social worker always kicks in.
"No...not mad...just...probably disappointed. It'll be so horrible for me. Please...please."
Shame. Oh why do we parent our kids with shame.
"Alright Jill. I won't tell them. But I do hope that you someday will. You have nothing to feel bad about or ashamed about. Accidents happen."

As we are walking back to the room to hang the clothes to dry she now has her arm around me. I have never seen her this close to anyone. We tidy up her area, make sure she look acceptable and hang the clothes to dry.

As we are heading out she stops me.
"Oh!! I have something very serious to ask you Mindy."
Mercy.
"Um...do I smell?"
"Do you what?"
"Do I smell? I feel like I smell? Do I?"
I lean in a little and take a big whiff.
"Nope. You don't smell."
"Well, I wouldn't smell up there."
Mercy.
So I lean down slightly and take another whiff.
"Nope. You're good to go Jill. You don't smell at all."
"Are you sure? I mean, I think I would smell a little. It was so gross. And I just really don't feel clean..."
"Jill, would you like a little of my raspberry body spray? That might do the trick. Sometimes at camp it's hard to feel clean...but I promise you, that you don't smell. But if you'd like some body spray, we can make extra sure."
"Oh that's a good idea."
So we walk back to my room and I spray her.

As we are heading out again...holding hands...she stops me again. She grabs me with both of her skinny little arms and pulls me very close. She buries her head in my belly and squeezes as tight as humanly possible.
"Thank you Mindy. Thank you for helping me. You're the best leader ever. I love you."
Mercy.
As my eyes well up with tears, "You're so welcome Jill. I'm so glad that I was here for you. I love you too. You're a very special girl and I'm so glad that you're in my group."

I will forever remember that little girl. That moment. I don't know what she is returning home to. I don't know if the small moments of peace and comfort and love she felt at camp will drastically alternate her life right now. I don't know if she learned that being perfect and right doesn't matter. But I do know for that moment...she knew.

Here is the just of that moment...
I deserve no kuddos or praise for anything I did. Because that was nothing short of God in me. I don't have patience like that, I didn't even realize how much I actually cared for the girl, I normally would have tried to rush back to worship because I was missing singing...

But for the Holy Spirit.

A friend who was at camp and knew the story told me, "Don't you see? At that moment you were Jesus to her and she will never forget that."
It made me cry. And humbled me.
I am so not worthy to be His vessel. I am so not holy enough, compassionate enough, righteous enough...and yet...He sees fit to use me.
When I allow myself to be open to the Spirit...to draw close to Him for strength...to follow His prompting...He will do amazing things.
He will love a little girl who is hard to love and He will show me how to love her too.

There are many, many times in my life that I don't get it right. I lose my patience, say the wrong thing, judge another, hide in my pain, look the other way. But that day, that moment in time...I am thankful that I was obedient and followed His leading instead of my own.

I am grateful for a God who can see past my inadequacy and use me just the same.
To God be ALL the glory!

Is your bra pink? in my jammies. sans bra. (sorry for anyone who offends easily...lol)

Are your toe nails painted pink?
nope. red. i'm a diva remember ;)

Has a boy put their arm around you in the past 5 days?
yeppers. boys and a man!!

Has someone ever called you beautiful? yep

Are you wearing short shorts? nope

Do you enjoy wearing dresses? yes...i love dressing up

Ever turned a boy down you shouldn't have? honestly? yes.

Are your fingernails painted black? no

Do you straighten your hair often? naw...don't have enough to really straighten

Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? no...i think it's geeky

What would you do if you received a long love letter? get all comfy and read it over and over

Who was the last person to text you? and what does she/he said? not close to my phone so who the heck knows....lol

Would you ever leave the house without make-up on? certainly but there was a time when i wouldn't have

On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you? depends on the guys. some 1...some 10!!

In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy? Jordyn and I are in a house of guys so that's pretty much a given

Do you like to hold hands? yeah..but my hubby doesn't!!

Who do you tell everything to? God and most things to my sister

What color is your hair? black right now

What makes you happy? singing praise songs

Do you miss someone? yep

What are you excited about? starting this intern class at work on monday

Do you have any tattoos or piercing?only my ears...i let my nose close up years ago and tattoos are so expensive. but i do want one

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? in life yes. in relationships...it depends. for example...when i was in an abusive relationship, i forgave him...but i couldn't give him a second chance because i knew i would never be able to trust him again.

Where is the person you want most? at the moment i most want marlon's granny here to bounce some ideas off of...so i guess heaven

Where will you be 2 hours from now? in my bed

What are you doing tomorrow? WORKING

Where were you at 9am this morning? service was just letting out

Do you fall for people easily? used to. haven't fallen for anyone in YEARSSSSSSSSSS

Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can't? no..i'm usually pretty straight forward

Do you have anything in your pockets right now?No pockets.

In the past week have you gotten sick? nope

On a scale of 1-10, how good is life? 8

Who's your best friend? sister and mom are givens.... Jackie, Amy

Where would you go right now if you could go anywhere? anywhere i could get a good massage

Do you want someone you can't have? nope

Whats your favorite smell? oh...i have a LOT of smells. i like the smell of freshly washed babies, lilacs, a scrubbed clean house, bleach, warm cookies, a clean cut just showered man, coffee, mexican food... Smells are good. I love that one of my senses. :)