What????????

Here is a conversation I overheard in the store today between a mom and her son...probably about age 13ish I would guess. I was at the end of an aisle in Walgreens looking at box sets of cards. This young man was at the end of the aisle perusing through the magazines.

Mom: (coming down the aisle to where the son was standing) ___, you're not getting anything remember? Let's go.

Son: I'll meet you at the check out. (does not look up from the magazine)

Mom: (big sigh) No. We need to get going. C'mon. (at which point she starts to reach for the magazine---yeah yeah go mom!!!---ah...thwarted by a son who yanks it up and away from her)

***Please note that at this point I am very much withholding my desire to snag the magazine from the child***

Mom: Seriously. I am not joking. Put the magazine down.

Son: Just let me get it. I don't have this one yet. (big cheesy smile)

Mom: No. Now c'mon, ____. I mean it now. Maybe next time. (pleading mind u. pleading)

***Next time? Next time? Lady, he doesn't even have it together for THIS time yet...what in the world are you bargaining with NEXT time for???***

Son: You never let me get anything. I'm so sure. It doesn't even cost that much. C'mon (raised voice mind you....RAISED voice!!)

Mom: (glancing nervously down the aisle) ____--I mean it. I already said no. (reaches for the magazine again...grabs son's arm)

Son: (yanks arm away) Don't grab me! Man, you suck! I'm so sure. (turns away and is STILL looking at this magazine)

***Oh, please smack his mouth, please smack his mouth. Or better yet, roll up the magazine and bop him on the head with it!!!***

Mom: Don't talk to me that way. Now c'mon we are late. (starting to walk away....yes, I am nosy and lean in a little so that I can still see them)

Son: C'mon mom. Please. Just let me get it...dang. C'mon (whining...oh the whining...please let the cute girl he likes in math come right now and see him whining like a 2 year old in the middle of Walgreens)

Mom: Fine. Whatever...you are a total brat. I don't care--let's just go. Get the dumb magazine.

***Let's go? Let's go? And he's getting the magazine!! The little spoiled brat is actually getting the magazine!!! Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!***

My kid. No. My stress. No. Her problem. Yes AND no. Here's why....

Parents...please parent your children. When they are young....BEFORE they get to this teenager, mouthy, disrespectful, 'can't tell me nuthin' age....PLEASE parent your children. Otherwise what happens is they may just grow up to be selfish, self-serving, egotistical, jaded, irritating adults who do not know how to show respect, behave appropriately and share the limelight. They grow up to be men and women who think the rules don't apply to them and that if you sweet talk the right person and manipulate situations you will get what you want. They enter our workforce not knowing how to problem solve maturely or how to have productive communication. They enter marriages thinking it's all about them and their desires, their needs being met. I'd like there to be some great material out there for my children to marry someday. The world does not need any more problem people in it.

Teach manners, respect, discipline, self-worth, diligence. Follow through on consequences. Don't give in no matter how much you want to. Be mean. If your pre-teens and teenagers think you are mean some of the time==then you are doing something right as a parent. I so wanted to snatch that magazine out of his hands and just dare him to say something. Triple dog dare him...lol.

All kids are going to have bad days. No kid is perfect. All parents are going to have bad days. No parents are perfect. But just because that is true doesn't mean that we shouldn't instill appropriate behavior in our kids. We shouldn't give in simply because they whine and moan. We shouldn't allow them to make the rules and decisions. We set the expectations and then guide them into following them.

There is no better example of this than my sister. She has a very independant, resilient little 4 year old and I see her taking steps and taking charge to make sure that my neice knows when she's crossed the line. Just the other weekend during a basketball game she told her that if she didn't behave and quiet down they were going to the car. When my neice didn't change her behavior....yep...that's right...they sat in the car. I was so proud of her for following through and even though I am sure it sucked to be stuck in the car with an angry 4 year old...lol...she knew she had to do it. Any you know what? My niece will remember that when mom says we're going to the car....um...she really means we're gonna go sit in the car!!!

So what happened with the mom and son? Well, as I was walking to my car I noticed them sitting in theirs. Mom on the cell phone....son leaning way back in his seat...thumbing through his magazine. *sigh*