Being obedient...
Being obedient just feels good.
As I am having the conversations I need to...to pull out of some of the many different things I am involved in....making time each day to spend with God, and loving my husband and kids---I am feeling very peaceful and focused. It's funny how even though the past few days have been very full with activities, sports, housework...I have not felt overwhelmed or frazzled once. This should not be a surprise. I know it is the wonderful gift my sweet Jesus will give me when I put Him first and allow my attitude and outlook to be sprinkled with His spirit instead of my own.
Leaving Teen MOPS is probably going to be the most difficult thing I am putting down. I know that there are struggles in all ministries, but in the last year or so, there has been crazy warfare on this ministry. While I connect well with the girls and most of the leaders, I know that I do not serve there to serve God. I serve there for my own selfish ambition. I know that it is a time filler because I want to get out of the chaos of my house. I like feeling needed. Those are not bad reasons to be involved. However, for me, on this path God is taking me, as I discover the way to my calling...I know I need to let it go. I am away from Marlon and my kids enough with my job in Children's Ministry...I believe it is selfish and self-serving of me to find other things to occupy my time.
It's a vicious cycle. I want to find things to get me out of the house and the craziness, but yet the more I am gone and filling my time with "ministry" the further away from God I am and from being a Proverbs 31 woman. My hubby doesn't do a lot of praising me at the gate when I am calling him names under my breath and slamming cupboards. My kids don't call me blessed very often when I am screaming at them for forgetting to take the garbage out. I have to do my work with God first. Anything that I am doing to pull my focus from Him so that I am caught up in this world...is sinful. Anything I am doing to keep myself busy and away from His call so that I can barely hear His voice...is sinful. Anything I am doing for purely selfish reasons, letting pride in my performance being a reason to keep me there...is sinful.
He is all that I need. He will sustain in a way that I can't even imagine. He loves me and delights in me. I want nothing more or less than to serve Him fully, feel His love and answer His call on my life well.
2 comments:
Hi Mindy- I haven't checked in with you in a LONG time....because I too have been filling up my life with things so I don't have to deal with this house & my own emotions. I've just come to that realization. I've also been so lost since leaving MOPS and trying to find a place to serve the Lord I Love. I quit Sunday School (our church calls it KidVenture) and I'm planning on joining a Bible study in the fall, I might even do that hard core one at the church in Pewaukee. I think God wants me to refocus on serving my husband and family quietly and bring peace back into our home. It's not glamorous and you don't get the 'thank you Michelle...your the greatest!' But it's where the Lord is leading me....
Okay, sorry about that, I just can totally relate to this post. I'll try and make it back here more often to read about my laundry loving friend!!!
:)
Hey-Hey-Hey! I miss you! It's already been almost a month since She Speaks and I still think of you daily! God is so good!
I just wanted you to know that God spent 2007-2008 teaching me the same lesson you are learning now...filling the need for "being needed" is not the same as being called to serve the "needy". I totally had to revamp my entire volunteering package and get back to the "basics" God was steadily pulling to!! Believe or not, it took God a complete year to accomplish his transformation! It was a tug-o-war or something! He would take something away and I would pull it back harder or replace it as quick as possible! Be encouraged my sister! There is a reason he says "Be still...and know that I AM GOD!" There is no possible way to be still while we are constantly filling our plates with more to do! I learned it the hard way! I still catch myself thinking up ways to "fill" needs of others...aka..my OWN need to be needed! Ha! You would think a homeshcooling Mom of 3 couldn't possibly need another thing on her plate - but honestly, being home with 3 kids 24/7 - 365 will take a toll on anyone! I wouldn't change it for anything in the world! I adore my children and I love being home for my husband...I also love my quiet time each day with God! The girls at MOPS will miss you for sure...you are truly one who can be missed...But know that God will do something BIG...because HE IS GOD!!
Much love and prayers! Hope you had a great 4th!!
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