Still here.

You may be wonderin' where have I been and what is up?? It's been a longggg time since I've gone a week without posting. It was quite a weekend and I found out some really sad news on Monday that just had me really contemplative the last few days.

Last Friday Edie, Steph and I took the staff from Camp Zoom out for dinner. It was a really fun time just getting to know them in a non work way. We went to Jose's. It's kind of our spot...lol.

The weekend was spent with a tournament for Izzy with baseball. I actually stayed home on Saturday and did some cleaning, walked and then went in for the later game. Sunday Marlon spoke at his grandfather's church for Men's Day so I was at the game all morning. We swam in the afternoon and then walked. We're starting up a little mini weight loss challenge with just my immediate family (parents, sister, brother in law and our good, good friend Katie) and I'm so excited because Marlon is going to join us this time! He's already doing so well!!

Monday I found out that my friend from work miscarried. Upon finding out about the miscarriage and going to the dr to make sure--she found out they were twins. My heart just aches for her because she and her husband were so excited to be pregnant again (they have a 5 yr. old) and she is just a great mom. Also on Monday, we found out that our dear friend and co-worker JJ's wife lost her battle with cancer in the wee morning hours on Sunday.

I want to share something JJ wrote on her carepages blog from the cancer center to give you a little glimpse of the amazing witness that he and Lori were to all of us....


29 July 20, 2008 at 01:25 PM CDT
I had just finished reading the latest updates on the Care Pages to Lori from my laptop while she closed her eyes and listened. After reading the touching message on the message board from our son Johnny, I told her, “See you are a Proverbs 31 woman.” She just smiled and quietly said no.
At 7:45 the doctor who earlier had requested 2 ultrasounds politely knocked and entered our room, set down and gave us the results. Lori’s liver was beginning to shut down, what was happening was irreversible. We asked what will happen next, he answered as kindly as he could. The toxins in the liver were depriving the blood of its platelets, the unprocessed bile would get into the brain and cause confusion in speech and thinking processes, and it would only be a matter of time before she would lapse into a coma or her heart would simply stop beating from the toxin build up. Neither one of us shed any tears at the news and Lori thanked him politely for as much as she understood. Before leaving he suggested that we should plan to return to family and loved ones no later than Tuesday. Lori and I had always talked about this eventuality. We never lost faith in God’s ability to heal, but we knew that God is sovereign and we don’t know his plans. We saw this time in our lives as a path that God had put us on.

All along the way there would be flowers on either side of the path. We saw these “flowers” in the many cards and words of encouragement and prayers that were said on our behalf as we proceeded obediently trusting the Lord every step of the way. We had always left open the fact that God might eventually bring us to a fork in the road, and that he would take her home first.
Our trust in our Lord Jesus Christ was sure and our faith unshakable. The news from the doctor while unwelcome was not devastating. There were areas where we could be thankful. Thankful that the care rotation (that was planned weeks ago) worked out that I was here instead of my 16-year-old daughter when the doctor came in. Thankful that I got to share her birthday with her. Thankful that Lori’s family, who had planned a family reunion a year ago on this weekend, were all together in Indiana and could support each other when they got the news. Thankful for our children who had to pull together and mature literally overnight as their mom and dad had to leave town. Thankful that we were led to the Cancer Treatment Center with its excellent staff and these Care Pages so not only Lori and I, but all her family and friends, could be blessed by reading the scriptures, comments and prayers that were posted. Thankful for all the meals that had been prepared and delivered to our home during those early days of the diagnosis when our family was in a state of shock.
Saturday evening around 6:00 P.M, I packed a rented vehicle with all our belongings we had brought to the center and then Lori and I headed off to her family reunion in Kokomo. About 8 hours into the trip, we decided to listen to a praise and worship CD that a staff worker had given us before we departed. The words of the songs were perfect and were just what we needed to hear. It was now about 2:30 a.m. I noticed that Lori’s hand had become cool, and I pulled over on the side of the highway. She wasn’t breathing, and I felt no pulse. I called 911, and did CPR until the ambulance arrived. They were unable to restore her breathing or a pulse. In the meantime, my sister in-law Sheri, who is a chief nurse executive(who I had been in contact with over my cell phone)drove down with my two brother-in-laws Mike and Robert over 200 miles in the early morning hours to southern Illinois to be with me. The last minutes of Lori’s life were peaceful as she fell asleep in the Lord's hands, serenaded by praise music. We started off heading for one type of family reunion, but God chose to bring Lori home to his family reunion. Blessings to all.


This evening is the funeral and we are expecting quite a crowd. Lori served here in different ministries for a long time, JJ has worked here over 20 years, they have 5 children...

I've struggled this week. I've been much closer to other people in my life dying...but for some reason this one is hitting me hard. I'm sure it's partly that she was a great mom, she and her children served in Chldren's Ministry, JJ and Marlon are friends...but it's also hard to make sense of God's ways. Like as a Christian woman I know this. Yes. His ways are not our ways. It's not ours to know. He is soveriegn. I trust in that and it is what keeps me from being angry at Lori's death. But...to have a family so rooted in Him, such servants, so devoted to each other have to experience this anguish and loss....

It's just a hard week.