When it rains it pours...

Well people...as you know from my previous post...there has been some ministry turmoil in my life. There are actually two situations occurring in my home at this present time. My husband is dealing with some MAJOR issues with his ministry agency and this, as a result, has trickled out to our church--who is one of his financial supporters. The lack of accountability, leadership and protection by his ministry agency is simply appalling to me...and that having been said I'm going to shut my mouth about it because I don't want to make things any worse then they are. We are seeking counsel about how to proceed and what the next step is.

The other situation is one that I am dealing with at work. Things have escalated to an all time high and it is much more than just a different "flava" in ministry. In an e-mail to me...this person gave extensive and detailed changes that he wants made in the curriculum lessons because he believes in doing the best lessons and his really are the best choices (his words not mine) and then proceeded to end his e-mail with this, Mindy, if I could somehow sell my company and do your job for my pay, I would be after your job tomorrow!
We have made this man a leader and Deacon in our ministry...we have given him power and authority over the 8 years he has been in Children's Ministry...there have been hundreds of inappropriate comments...and it has culminated with this statement.

I must admit that as I was first reading the e-mail I was not surprised. There was an issue earlier in the week (which resulted in the post on Thursday) that was taken care of in a way he did not like and I was told that his behavior at church today was simply appalling. I was a little concerned that something was up because both his wife and son barely spoke to me and would not make eye contact when I said hello. From past experience I had a feeling that if he let the other situation lie...there would be another issue that would suddenly become a battle. Just as he has been around for 8 years...I have as well and the entire time we have served in the same department. I know of his antics in Children's Ministry well. I was totally unprepared, however, for the personal attack at the end of his lengthy e-mail. I felt as if I had been spit on or punched in the stomach.

My gut reaction was shock...then anger...then I cried...then weary. There was nothing of Jesus in that e-mail. I agonize for hours when sending this man e-mails, pray with our Pastor when I know there may be difficult conversations so that I can exemplify Jesus. So that I stay armored up. I am not saying this for kuddos, because I know that is what I am called to do. But that's just it. Those are attributes, expectations that we should have for a leader in the church. I am not saying that I always succeed in being Christ-like in my interactions...of course not. But the desire to be obedient to the Holy Spirit and reflect the light of Jesus always needs to supercede my desire to tongue lash. How did we get to the situation where we have a leader, an appointed leader at that (being a Deacon) who is allowed to get away with this for YEARS?

Today I am meeting with my Pastor to discuss this further (he cc'd her on the e-mail) She is going to meet with him individually and correct him and let him know that he needs to apologize. I don't want his apology if it isn't sincere. I know that I am called to forgive and I will do the internal work I need to in order to do so. Quite honestly, I am still a little shocked that someone would be so bold as to put those words in an e-mal...not that they would think them...but that they'd put them in an e-mail...lol. But I know and believe that words can't hurt me and this morning I am really more annoyed than anything by his statement. Part of me wants to say...oh boy---come and take my job because I can't deal with volunteers like you anymore...lol! What does concern me though is the fact that I know this is not the first time something like this has occurred. It's not even the second time...or tenth time...or sixtieth time. Jesus loved, he forgave, he was gentle and kind. He also corrected and told the truth.

Please pray for me and my Pastor today as we meet to talk about this, pray, figure out how to proceed, what to do. Pray for our ministry and that we are able to keep this out of Sunday mornings. The feeling around the department yesterday was one of turmoil and frustration. Pray for him and his family. That he is able to fully experience the joy of Christ and the privilege it is to serve Him. Pray for me...that I am able to stay humble, kind, loving...while speaking the truth and seeking God's direction at all times in my leading.

Have a great day and may you fully experience God's grace today!!