When Your "Flavor" Doesn't Jive in Ministry...

What can you do when individuals in ministry suck you of your joy, patience and their negativity, cynicism and selfishness leave you with a bad taste in your mouth??

PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY...definitely.

But sometimes, sometimes you just need to tell them about themselves as well.


It's funny how when I have a "Praise the Lord" moment like I did on Tuesday (read my Unity note if you haven't) it is often followed by a "What in the world am I doing this for?" moment.
Here's what I've found works for me to put things in perspective...

1) What is truth and what is just worldview? For me, this is especially important to keep in mind working where I do. My life experience and my world view is VERY, VERY different than many other people that I work with. This is a result of my family, my ethnicity, my past, my flava...if you will. Some of that does not make me right and the other person's opinion wrong. It does not make them right and me wrong. Being unified does not mean agreeing with everything or with becoming a cookie cutter Christian.

2) Take a breath and process. When I gut respond to things that I find offensive or questionable..I've found that I am almost ALWAYS responding in the flesh. Flesh Mindy---she's pretty jazzy, sarcastic, crass and socially inappropriate. Spirit Mindy---well, quite honestly is still pretty jazzy and what others consider socially inappropriate...lol...but she is definately not as sarcastic or crass. Taking myself away from the situation/phone call/conversation/e-mail for a bit definitely helps with perspective.

3) Remember that Christ loves this person. This person is His child. I only know what I see...not what is in the innermost part of their heart. It isn't my job to judge them or change them or make them see things my way.

4) I am only responsible for my actions and my reactions. If they behave inappropriately that is there's to deal with. If I do...that's all me.

5) Sometimes...after working through all of this...uncomfortable conversations still need to be had. Conflict needs to be resolved and yes, sometimes they need to be told about themselves...lol. When I am in the wrong, I want someone to tell me about myself too. This doesn't have to be done rudely, angrily with a scolding tone. It can be done in the Spirit and with love. It can be done simply because in holding others accountable=there is sometimes correction.

6) Often times...what I'm finding is that the person is just who they are. They have no desire to grow, change, find middle ground. They want you to change to their viewpoint and might just through a tantrum if you don't. This one is always hard for me because I dont respond well to bullying, tantrum throwing or threats. But what I can do is continuously extend grace...keep my eyes focused on Jesus...and set about His business.

What in the world am I doing this for?

Him. His call on my life is greater than any uncomfortable conversation...it's greater than any ignorance...and it's greater than being aggitated by bullies who think if they rant and rave they will get their way.

My focus must remain, at all times, bringing glory to His kingdom...by loving the Lord, my God with all my heart, mind, soul and spirit and loving others as myself. All others. Not just the ones I agree with or like.