Modern Day Parenting of Pre-Teen Boys..#2

Oh yes. It went there!

Now I will warn you. If you are not quite ready to hear what pubescent boys have to say and what they are thinking...you might not want to read this....

The other day as we were leaving the gas station I notice the boys giggling at the attendant who was sporting very attractive hickies on her neck.

Me: So I see you boys noticed the clerk's neck huh?
Boys: (in random order) Huh? What? Oh, um, those marks?
Me: You don't have to pretend...they were hard to miss. Do you know what those were?
Isaiah: Yeah, hickies.
Izzy: Hickies...hahahahahaMe: But what is a hickie?
Elijah: When someone kisses on your neck?
Isaiah: Well, not just kiss...
Me: What?
Isaiah: They gotta suck on it.
Izzy: On your neck? That's weird.

(Oh yes. Please continue to feel this way for at least another 6 years...please)

Elijah: Ohhhh....the girl I think is cute....her sister had a hickie!
Isaiah: ****?? (says name of the girl) She's hot.
Elijah: Yeah, she's in 8th grade.
Me: Do you think hickies are hot?

(now heed this warning...do not ask these kind of questions unless you are ready for the answers)

Isaiah: NO...I think it's kind of sick.
Me: But you still think *** is hot.
Isaiah: Yeah...
Elijah: Oh yeah
Me: Would you date her?
Izzy: We aren't allowed to date...
Me: (sigh) If you were allowed to date, would you date her?
Isaiah: Maybe.Me: That is hormones talking.
Izzy: What's hormones?
At this point Elijah turns beat red and starts laughing uncontrollably
Me: Remember when we talked about how during puberty your body is going to change? And how as you become a teenager you will sometimes have feelings that might make your heart race...your face feel warm...that's hormones.
Isaiah: Yeah...it's also what makes your pants...(he looks at me, smiles)..nevermind
Me: ANYWAY...your hormones can really mess things up if you don't remember to be focused on what's important.
Izzy: How?
Me: Well, look at what you just said. You guys thought hickies were gross. But when a girl that you think is hot had hickies you didn't say gross....it didn't change the way you thought about her because of your hormones and thinking she is hot.
Isaiah: Yeah...
Me: What do you think about a girl that has a hickie?
Isaiah: That's she's nasty...maybe a ho
Me: Would you want to date a girl like that? Any of you?
Boys: Naw...eww, that's nasty....no way...
Isaiah: Well, like she might be nice, like a friend, but I wouldn't want to date her.
Me: So why would you still think of *** as hot? Why would you still think about her? Because of hormones...it's why I want you boys not to think with your hormones...with your desires because it clouds your judgement. Remember that song we sang, "Man looks on the outside, but God looks...on the heart?" Well, it's true. But we should be trying to live and look on the inside because God's got it right. Let's say you were blind or I blindfolded you. You got to spend time knowing some girls. Someone also told you a little bit about them, but you couldn't see them. Say one you had a great conversation with...you had a lot in common...you laughed, had a great time. And another you didn't have anything in common with...she was a little rude and fast, flirting and talking inappropriately. Based on that alone---who would you pick as a girlfriend?Elijah: The one that I got along wth...
Isaiah: Yeah
Me: And what if when you took your blindfold off...you found out the other one was "hotter"? Isaiah: I get it. Looks aren't the most important thing.
Me: I just want you to try and put your hormones in check. You guys are too young to have a lot of the drama and stress that comes with dating, having girls as more than friends. You have raging hormones but don't really know what to do with them yet.
Elijah: How do you know?
Me: Because it's what made you say that hickies are gross and yet in the same breath say that you'd date a girl with a hickie because she's hot. Thinking with your mind and heart...you choose more wisely. Thinking with your hormones is 9 times out of 10 gonna lead to trouble.
Isaiah: So mom...
Me: Yeah?
Isaiah: Um, I know I can't have a girlfriend NOW (this is a boy who would love to call a particular girl his girlfriend)
Me: No...you aren't allowed to go anywhere with a girl alone..you aren't allowed to go on dates...so there really isn't a point to have a girlfriend. I know your gonna like girls...they are gonna like you...but there's no reason to have a girlfriend.
Isaiah: Ok. But how about 8th grade? Can we talk about it then?
Elijah: Sabes que....he really wants to date Victoria!!
Izzy: ooooo...Victoria!!
Me: Let's get through 7th grade before we go there ok?

One day at a time.