What can you say?

Well, it's over. The trial went suprising quickly. Yesterday by noon the defense was done with it's case. At 1 we reported to court to hear closing statements. The DA was very encouraging and then all we could do was wait. I went back to work. Becky and some of my other family sat around at my Grandma's house. Finally, at a little after 7pm, the jury was back in. Not guilty. None of us could believe it. How could they not see him for what he is? Almost immediately after hearing the verdict, he got this smug grin on his face and pulled out his dress shirt. Almost as if to say, whew--don't gotta pretend I'm a gentleman anymore. Hadn't they heard the tape of his messages to her? Hadn't they seen the turmoil she was in? All we could do was hold Becky as she wept. Several of the female jurors were crying...for what? Not being strong enough to stand their ground? Having been through the same things and not standing up for themselves? Once he had left the courtroom with his family and we knew they were down the hall the DA took all of us to a room downstairs. Nothing can prepare your heart to see someone you love so much in so much pain. All she kept asking me was, "why, why would God do this to her, why would God allow her to be hurt again?" I told her it wasn't God...God didn't do that to her back in June. God was there for her, to strengthen her, give her peace. This sad excuse for a man is a human who has problems and sickness, he is the one who sinned in a most despicable way...and sinned again in court by lying on the stand and not being man enough to own up to what he did. Humans were on the jury. The DA said that these cases are so hard to get convictions on because often times the jury is afraid to be bold enough to be the 12 that send somebody away. Often times there are jurors who in the past had a sexual assault against them. Maybe they weren't strong enough to stand up against the other jurors. The DA said that usually one hold out for a not guilty will change everyone else's mind before the others change theirs. He also said that he has no real explanation for why it happened. He tried and he pursued the case because he believed her and felt the case had merit and was provable. Once we got her calmed down...we all went back to my Grandma's.
I have to tell you my head was spinning. In my head, I heard God say to me, "Even if...even if he wasn't convicted??? Do you still believe I am who I say I am?" I was so proud of my family for being there for Becky and standing by her. God might not have answered our prayers as we had hoped, but that doesn't mean he didn't answer them. He had reasons and ways that we couldn't begin to understand. But His intent is never to harm us. Jeremiah 29:11 (and I've said it before but it is always worthy of saying again because in times like these we need to hold fast to it)
Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He can make good out of any and all situations. When you run to Him and allow Him to fully live in all parts of your life...He will give you a peace that you can't even explain to others. Don't allow human sin to make you believe that God has harm in mind for you. Sometimes you never know the lesson that you are learning. Sometimes you find out later and sometimes you never do. Sometimes the lesson isn't for you-but someone around you. We are all an intertwined puzzle, linked and connected as only He can see.
Some good has come already of this hateful thing. Becky, my aunt and her siblings are so much closer now. They are there for each other in a way they weren't before. She is free from that horrible relationship. If he had not gone that far...she might not have broken away. The guy's sister is married to Becky's brother, my other cousin. Using this situation as a scapegoat...she walked away and left him. While there are kids in common from the marriage...and that will be a difficult thing to figure out--they are both free from those unhealthy, hurtful relationships. What matters now I told her is what she does next. Does she allow this to eat her up and keep her down? Does she get help and talk to someone about everything? She still has not dealt with that night...and regardless of guilty or not guilty--she was going to have to do that. She doesn't have to turn to harmful behaviors herself...hiding her true feelings, poor choices because she is acting not thinking, falling into a pit of despair.
Please continue to pray for her. Pray for her to feel God's hands upon her. Pray for her to see that He is not the enemy...Satan and his evil are alive and well and always after us. When we allow Satan to make us question our beliefs...doubt ourselves...feel too low for God to love. They are all lies!!! The bible says if God is for us, who can be against us? Pray for Becky to go and get help dealing with all of this. Pray for me and knowing when to speak and when to just be.