First day of camp under our belt.
I love summer and camp, but the first day is always a little hard as we try to get everything settled. We have a great teaching team this year and have added some really fun components so I hope that the kids are really blessed by it.
I can see that the things I've been learning about myself and ministry in the past months are going to make this year even better! I'll be sure to post some pics!
For a class I was recently a part of...I had to explain what I've learned about ministry and myself. This is an exerpt of what I came up with...
In trying to define ministry I figured I would at least first look up the literal definition of ministry. The word ministy is derived from the Greek word diakoneo—meaning to serve, or douleuo—meaning to serve as a slave. Serving God and His people, His world. Nothing about place of employment. Nothing about job title. Nothing about status. Ministry is daily dying to self, seeking God’s will, allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to use me to serve others, feeling the love of God fill me and then loving the world as an outpouring of that love. I realized that I am ministry. Ministry is me.
I try not to get really caught up in labels. It’s probably partly why I am not intimidated by someone’s “title” or “position”. I don’t think we are supposed to label ministry. I understand why in the church…in the world we do. Our human need is to give structure and define roles. We like to have a full picture and understanding of who everyone is and what everyone does and why they behave the way they do. He is the Senior Pastor, she is the Pastor, they are the assistants, they are the volunteers. I understand that for the structure of a place of employment you need to assign job duties and give job titles. But in ministry, in serving….serving as a slave…what if we have it wrong? What if we aren’t supposed to label and pigeon-hole each other? What if there aren’t supposed to be silo ministries? I “specialize” in this or this; he is an “expert” in this and this…what if we are all supposed to be working together intermingled for the kingdom? My title right now is Ministry Assistant for Children’s Ministry, but quite honestly…that’s not my ministry. That is just my job title. It might define what I get paid to do for my vocation. But it is not a full picture of who I am. I don’t think that I want it to be.
I want it all. It has always been my problem and has gotten me into more trouble than I can say, but it is the truth. I want to see people’s lives transformed. I want to walk through life with a young person who is struggling. I want to instill the value of true worship in children. I want to bring broader perspective to those around me about differences, diversity of culture, ethnicity. I want to encourage others to realize the amazing value that they have and the powerful way that God can use them if they just let Him. I want to challenge individuals who have become lazy or self-righteous in their faith. I want to use the gifts that God has given me to impact the world around me. Yet, I am just one person. I think it’s too easy in ministry….the vocation of ministry….to feel overwhelmed and to commit yourself to too many things. Too many tasks and too many programs. The program is not the ministry. The program is just a ministry tool. I am the ministry. Because I am the servant. I am the slave, dying to self and reaching out to a broken world in the love of God, with the power of the Holy Spirit. He will use me as He sees fit. I need to stop looking for ways to fill the “wants” that I have in ministry and just look to Him to guide my steps and take me where He wants. Whenever I try to have it all, be involved in all…I get in the way and He can’t do what He wants to through me. I have learned that simply because I can do something well, does not mean that I should. It’s a lesson God has been teaching me for a few years and I do believe that this year I was finally able to put that into practice and adhere to it.
Although I have always felt that I might be a leader, I must admit that since becoming a Christian I have balked at that label. Throughout my life others have told me that I was a strong leader. Teachers in school would say, “Mindy is a leader, many of the children look to her and take their cues from her.” Yuck. What 6th grader wants THAT responsibility? In friendships I often became the leader and didn’t like feeling as if the other person wasn’t capable of their own opinions, thoughts or ideas separate from me. I would find us dialoguing, discussing something as simple as what to do for the weekend and suddenly whatever I said became where we were going. Looking back, I don’t know if there was something in me that tried to influence others? I know that in my wild 20s I sometimes did purposely influence, manipulate and sway people (not something I am proud of)...however, I have found that I don’t want to be and definitely didn’t like being that kind of leader.
Here are some things that I do want to continue to develop and allow to grow in myself as a ministry leader:
~Accountability to God. I desire to live for an audience of one. If I really want to serve Him well then I need to be in constant communication with my Lord. Each day I will seek Him and rest in His word, His truth, His love. What I say, think and do reflects Him and I want to do that well.
~Wisdom. As I have more opportunity to minister in conflict, wait on the Lord’s leading, develop patience, and identify the weaknesses in myself…I am thankful for the wisdom that is coming along with it. I don’t want to be the same 5 years from now, even 5 months from now as I am today.
~Total reliance on God. I deeply fear ministry as a vocation will become rote for me. I never want to lead out of my own earthly desires, my own earthly focus or my own agenda. I pray that I never get ahead of God and that I never rest on my laurels. In humble devotion to Him, I want to remember and instill in others that apart from Him we are nothing. Apart from Him there is no point in leading because only He is worthy.
~Rest. I know myself and I know that I need to build a rhythm of rest into my ministry. I am of no use to Him or others if I wear myself down. I need to continue to be obedient to that and allow myself time for respite within the frenzy. This means even if others don’t understand it. This means even if others don’t need to take that break. This means even if I don’t feel like it at the time. It is my hope that as I grow in the other areas, I will become even more self aware of when and how I need this rest.
I am feeling stirring in my spirit. I have found for myself this usually occurs when God is up to something really big. I trust that as I continue to turn to Him for guidance (by praying daily, listening to His response, delving into His word) He will open and close doors as necessary. I pray that I am obedient to where He leads...even when it's difficult, even when I don't want to, even when I'm not sure why. It is a privilege and honor to be His servant and I am grateful that He would even care to use someone like me to bring others closer to Him.
To God be the Glory.
Lookin at ol FB pics
Rememberin 'bout those college cliques
Wonderin who dressed that chick
When did I get old?
Orchesis memories...choregraphin Rhythm Nation
Rememberin Q oil with pure elation
Laughin that we taped the radio station...
When did I get old?
Messin with w/the boys like they were my toy
Singin top of my lungs w/Anita, 'you bring me joy'
Denyin wrong doin'....'that wasn't me boy!!'
When did I get old?
Writin checks at Hardee's...in debt deep
Checkin down the hall so nobody'd see me creep
Prayin he'd be quiet so Kasie'd stay sleep :D
When did I get old?
Perculatin at the club....doin it up right
Didn't ya'll kno it was Ho Phi Ho nite?
Knowin we looked good...daisy dukes were a sight ;)
When did I get old?
Goin to get a burrito at 11 o'clock
Doin it up right til I put 'em in shock
Ready to fight if his roommate didn't learn how to knock
When did I get old?
Swallowin that minnow for a t-shirt & tha props
Runnin from that party...dang, who called the cops?
Chargin up that credit girl, cuz we just had to shop...
When did I get old?
BUT
Now lookin at my babies asleep in the bed
Blessed by a husband that doesn't mess with my head
Knowin more than once I should've easily been dead
I thank God that I got old!
Realizin my worth ain't dependent on the outside
Knowin there is nuthin that i need to hide
Humbling myself....lettin go of all pride
I thank God that I got old!
Taking moments in prayer to thank Him for blessing
Realizin intimacy ain't got nuthin to do w/undressin
In His grace...toward the light...I'm always pressin...
I thank God that I got old!
Regrets I have none...each day is a new
A chance to make right and know I can do
All things with Him cause He renews me...it's true
I thank God that I got old!
To God be the Glory!
I'm gonna be real and raw in tellin' this story...so please don't be offended cause there isn't any other way to tell the truth.
In early 1992 I met a girl named Alisa. Missy and I were at Fudd's shakin our thangs and causin' ruckus I'm sure...when we ran into these 2 girls. Alisa and Taraina. It was apparent that they weren't from 'round the way. There were not a lot of young, single black females in Waukesha back in 1992. We hung out all night....makin' small talk, they had just moved to the area, blase' blah...and at the end of the night Alisa asked for my number.
It went exactly like this.
'Um, so don't think I'm gay or nuthin'...not that u aren't fine girl...but we have not met a lot of cool girls out here and you are cool so let's hang out or something.'
I laughed so hard and knew we were gonna be fast friends.
'Alright...im cool with that.'
And so we did. All the time. Alisa's friend Taraina had moved out here for her job and Alisa had just left a nanny job out east and so when Taraina invited her to move with her, she agreed. What's funny is a few years later Taraina got married and moved to IL and Alisa felt stuck here.
For the next 7 years...Alisa was my road dog. My ace boon coon. My sister from another mister. We were together all the time. Most of my rough partying days were done with her at my side. The first time I did a lot of things....both good and bad...were with her at my side. We got into major trouble together, but always had each other's back. Every moment that Jordyn was with her dad...I was out with Alisa causing trouble. Many of my wildest moments occurred with this girl. Most club bouncers knew us by name. We often got into places free if we promised to keep the dancin going (why I never care about being the only one on the dance floor) and very rarely did we pay for a drink. Many a night I couldn't remember the next day.
Our friendship was much more than wild days though.
She was there when I moved out for the first time and was a little afraid to be on my own. She was there for me when I went through an abusive relationship. I was there for her when she got pregnant and gave birth. God mother to her daughter Ayesha. When I had to leave my apartment she opened up her apartment to me and we lived together for 8 months. When I got pregnant with Isaiah, she is the one who comforted me when it felt like others had abandoned me for making another mistake. When I met Marlon she pushed me to follow my heart. When I started going to church and accepted Christ...even though it wasn't her thing, she was happy for me.
Not too long after I got married in 1998...Alisa and her man and Ayesha moved to Pennsylvania. For many years...we kept in close touch by letters and pictures and phone calls. Every few months at least we'd talk...catch up...comfort each other. I had some marriage problems. She felt stuck. I went through severe depression. She had another daughter. I could tell she was using more than recreationally. After a few years...we started talking less often. She moved from Pennsylvania out to Washington by her mom. She didn't have a computer so email wasn't a way for us to communicate...and her phone was often getting shut off so I'd try to call and her number was disconnected. Soon it was once a year or so that I'd hear from her. She'd always ask a lot of questions about my life...but be very vague about hers. I knew something was up. I could feel it in my heart. I even asked her to move back a few times. She would laugh it off saying there was nothing for her here. The last time I heard from her was probably in like 2005 or 2006. Numbers that I had for her where long since not in service. My last letter was returned.
Since joining MySpace and Facebook...I looked for her on here endlessly. Hoping by some chance she now had a computer. No luck. Last fall I finally thought....duh, Ayesha would be old enough to have her own account and started searching for her. I'll never forget the day that I found her on MySpace. I was so excited. She knew who I was right away. Said how could she forget her Godmother. Asked how her Goddaddy and cousins were. Asked how life in WI was. Small talk. No pictures of her mom. I asked her to have her mom call me. Never happened. I asked her about her mom...very little info.
Today I found out the truth.She doesn't know where her mom is. She has been living on the streets and escaped from jail a few months ago. She has a myriad of problems. There is nothing they can do. The girls are living with their grandma.I can't explain the heartache I felt when I read that. I can't explain how my heart sank or why I started to cry so hard. While I think about Alisa often...it's been years since I've had contact with her. But the love of a sister...which we are...doesn't fade with time I guess. The longing to see her, know she is okay, reach out to her.... I asked Ayesha how I can help...she said there's nothing they can do so she guesses there's nothing I can do either.
But I can pray. And I can ask you to pray on their behalf.
Some of you know Alisa...some of you don't. Some of you might think, wow...that's deep, well--you make your bed, now you lie in it.
But I can't do that.
She's my girl. And my heart is breaking. In all of you...I trust you to pray.
So please pray with me....
Pray that Alisa is safe.
Pray that she returns to her family.
Pray that she would desire to get clean and sober and be there for her kids.
Pray that Ayesha and Tatiana are able to have influence of God's love in their life.
Pray that Alisa knows that people love her and that God loves her.
There is power in prayer.
To God be the glory.
Emotional turmoil
Adversity
Disguising and masking
To fit in
Truth hidden
God given
Evil ridden
Life fulfillin
Simple livin
Mental anguish
Bigotry
Pushing and pulling
To make right
Truth hidden
God given
Evil ridden
Life fulfillin
Simple livin
Misguided intention
Naiveity
Moving forth but not knowing
At what cost
Truth hidden
God given
Evil ridden
Life fulfillin
Simple livin
God protects me
Jesus sustains me
Holy Spirit power compels me
To move and breathe and live
To run and dance and sing
To question and ask and see
To be...Me.
The other day a friend mentioned something to me that I had not thought of before.
I am in my mission field.
Let me explain.
I get that we are all missionaries and that we each daily have a sphere of influence around us who we can proclaim Christ to. That we all interact with dozens of people who we can reach for God and that we don't have to go overseas to be a missionary. I mean, I get that. Marlon is a local missionary. His mission field is male youth between the ages of 13-20. This is done through mentoring, bible studies, being a chaplain at Norris Adolescent center, and a new ministry venture The Malango Project that God helped him create that will start this fall. His passion for racial reconciliation has even led him to put together an AAU basketball team that is just about a 50/50 split of urban and suburban kids. It's exciting to watch. So I get that you don't have to be in a 3rd world country to have impact.
I am out of my comfort zone.
Many times I feel like a fish out of water because there are few who see what I see or at least from my point of view. Yet other times I feel strong confirmation from God that I am right where He wants me. It's like, sista quit ur cryin and get to work!! I've even prayed if it's time for me to move back to the city...back to a place where I'd be more comfortable. Someone even told me recently that I probably don't belong at Elmbrook because of the way I think and if that's how I feel.That statement has really had me thinking.
This is how I've been feeling...and what I've been marinating on....
I love teaching. I love speaking out God's truth and how He has influenced my life. I'm blessed with opportunities to do that.
I love pushing the envelope. This is not to be confused with pushing buttons. That is not Godly AT ALL to me. But questioning the status quo..well, even Jesus himself did that. I'm blessed (ok, sometimes stressed) but still blessed nonetheless with opportunities to do that.
I love worshipping through music. It's how I best connect with God and I love helping people experience God in a different way. I'm blessed with opportunities to do that.
I love building relationships with young people. From children to 20 somethings. Seeing the shiny face of a 5 year old delighted in learning about God to comforting a hurting young woman who is trying to figure out how to get her life on track. I'm blessed with opportunities to do that.
Africa...comfort zone. Philippines...comfort zone. Mexico....comfort zone. James Place...comfort zone. Inner city...comfort zone. Suburbia...not comfort zone.
BUT...
Would I have learned to rely so fully on Him if I was submerged in a culture where I was totally comfortable? Would I have discovered that the only way I can be a Godly leader is by dying to Him daily in order to lead? Would I fully believe that I can do nothing in my own strength and that no idea is a good idea until His blessing is upon it, like I do now? Would I have learned that part of what makes a great team is people who are like-minded in their devotion to Christ and respect for one another...not necessarily always thinking alike?
I am out of my comfort zone.
And in that...I am fully relying on God in a way I never have before. I see His goodness and grace and feel the Holy Spirit in me in a way I never have before. Abundant blessing. He continues to amaze and humble me by the way that He loves me.
To God be the Glory!
Papa and Jordyn
The girls. Caitlyn, Amelia, McKenzie and Keyonna. They were born within 3 months of each other. I can't believe they are 4 now!
Izzy and Marcelio.
I am the family masher. It takes great arm strength to mash 20lbs of potatoes :D
Sassy Jack and I
The die hard parade fans. Izzy, Nia and Alicia are out every year. :)
Jordyn and Hannah. She loves this kid!
Miss Jordyn waiting for the parade.
Jordyn and Nia. Such cuties!
My handsome Isaiah (#10) running for a play
Elijah is soooo tough on the football field
I love chaperoning field trips. It's so much fun and I'm blessed to have a job that allows me this freedom!
My sister, mom and I at Elmbrook's Women's Christmas event. There's nothing like worship with Stephanie Seefeldt and listening to Jill Briscoe.
My friend April and ITonight I am sitting here thanking God for the gift of friendship of wonderful Christian women that I have in my life. This has not always been the case.
I have always made friends easily. So in my life...there have always been friends, kick it partners, my road dogs, my hoe phi hoe gals. Yes I said..hoe phi hoe. If you didn't know...now u know.
When I got married and became a Christian...I had to separate myself from the life I had been living. My life was engulfed in sinful behaviors. My girls were still my girls. But a LOT had to change. I couldn't hang out like I had...didn't want to. But I had no women who were heading the way I was heading. I had no women who could hold me accountable. No women to challenge me, encourage me or walk with me in my new found faith.
Marlon joined Top Gun shortly after our wedding and instantly connected with this great group of men. They were and still are some of his closest friends. He began pressuring me to find friends. He began pushing me almost into finding women. It drove me crazy.The more he suggested people or tried to make the spouses of his friends-my friends. The more I bucked. I was determined not to have any Christian female friends. After all, weren't they all just a bunch of doormats anyway? Didn't they all have cheery, Martha Stewart homes and Martha Stewart bread baking in the oven? I was sure that none of them had ever perculated in the club or drank a whole bottle of Cisco. I was sure that none of them had engaged in premarital sex or occasionally felt like suffocating their husband with the pillow in an inappropriate fit of immature anger. I thought this meant I would never be able to sneak into the Christian Sister's Club.
So I became comfortable with the fact that I had no Christian friends. And my friendships with some of my old friends were different and odd because my life was different and I felt odd around them. It really wasn't anything they did at all..but it just was. So in essence I felt like I had no friends.Thankfully I've always had a good relationship with my mom and sister...they've been friends as well as family...but they were new believers too.
Eventually Marlon gave up forcing the issue. I am not sure if he got tired or just decided to pray for me or just accepted that I would be friendless...lol...but the pressure was off.I am not sure how and when and what changed in me...or why these friendships were suddenly able to grow and flourish and exist, but I am so grateful and blessed by them.
Tonight I am thanking God for the blessing of my friendships. I have the joy of mentoring friendships---younger women who have similar struggles..need an older, wiser voice, (um. yes-there are some who consider me older and wiser--go figure...lol) as well as just plain old goofy friends who have known me forever and walked through storms of life with me, as well as strong believing women who ask the hard questions, pray for me, challenge my thinking when it needs to be, bring me back to the Truth when I need it, as well as older women who have been there and can offer advice to me. Some of my friends are believers, some aren't, some I don't think are sure. It doesn't matter. They are all valuable in my life.
God is so good. I thank Him for my friends. I thank Him for knowing what we need and then bringing it into our lives. I pray that my friends know how important they are, how I value and appreciate them and how they help sharpen me. I pray that I am the kind of friend to them that they need.
To God be the Glory.
Yesterday as I sat at my Grandma's dining room table...I looked around and couldn't help but smile. I truly enjoy my family. I truly mean that. Not in a I have to because they are my family kind of way...but really, really enjoy being with them.
While I know many families have their "skeletons"...our family has many things that others might find "unsavory" or "scandalious" or "embarassing". My family has children before we are married. My family uses illegal substances. My family breaks the law. My family gets into fights. My family gambles. My family drinks. My family divorces. My family...is rarely on the same page. We argue and debate--politics, employment, faith, child-rearing, finances, social concerns. We too often hold grudges. We too often gossip. We too often have anger issues.
And yet...
We LOVE.
We LOVE.
We LOVE.
There is devotion to each other. There is unbridled affection. Cousins who I sometimes want to smack because I think they are sooooo narrow minded....the same cousins who probably sometimes want to smack me because they think I am soooooo overbearing....we would go to bat for each other over and over if we had to. They need not ever worry that I would not be there if they needed me. If there was a way for me to humanly help them...there would not be hesitation. It doesn't matter to me that we aren't always heading the same way. That we disagree. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love heals. Love brings people closer together. Love conquers. Love is not a feeling. Love is a commandment. In Matthew, Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. It's not a choice. Jesus models true love...agape love. God loves us unconditionally.
My family also has a great earthly teacher of love. My Grandma. The glue that holds us all together. I am blessed with a Grandmother who loves her 10 children. She loves her 25 grandchildren. She loves her 29 great-grandkids. (and the two on the way!) She loved her husband and chooses to remember and cherish the wonderful qualities he had...when there are many difficult things that she could dwell on and feel pain about. She loved her father and cared for him at the end of his life..bringing him into her home and in doing so allowing us the gift of a grandpa. She loved her grandson enough to take him in and raise him as her own when his parents weren't able to care for him. She prays for each of us and trusts that God can do what she can't.What a legacy of love she has given us. It is not something any of us should take lightly.
Family matters. Family is more than just people you are genetically connected to. I love my family. I pray for my family. I am thankful for the sordid crew that we are and I know that God is doing a great work in our lives. In our generation and in the generations to come. We've come from heartache and pain...blood, sweat and tears...devotion, hard work and loyalty...patience, forgiveness and acceptance.
Thank you Lord for the gift of my family. Thank you for our differences. Thank you for the love that we share and the love that we are given. I am grateful to have them in my life. Help me to continue to live out loud for you, never ashamed of who I am, where I came from or what I've been through..always reflecting your light...always accepting ur will...always growing.
Everybody look around
'Cause there's a reason to rejoice you see
Everybody come out
And let's commence to singing joyfully
Everybody look up
And feel the hope that we've been waiting for
Everybody's glad
Because our silent fear and dread is gone
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Everybody be glad
Because the sun is shining just for us
Everybody wake up
Into the morning into happiness
Hello world! It's like a different way of living now
And thank you world! We always knew that we'd be free somehow
In harmony...And show the world that we've got liberty
It's such a change...For us to live so independently
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about, You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Everybody be glad
Because the sun is shining just for us
Everybody wake up
Into the morning into happiness
Hello world! It's like a different way of living now
And thank you world! We always knew that we'd be free somehow
In harmony...And show the world that we've got liberty
It's such a change...For us to live so independently
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about...You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
So my friend Amy Teal...got me so thinkin' about this song and it's so stuck in my head that I had to go and look up the lyrics and couldn't stop smillin' :)
If we get our heads and hearts right----racial reconciliation might just be more than a pipe dream!! This doesn't have to mean division unless people choose to let it be. I pray with great fervor that those that think race shouldn't be an issue might understand why it is. Why those that think it is the only issue might see that it's more than that.
I was told on two occasions by two teachers in school that there would never be a black president in my lifetime so I shouldn't even think it was a possiblity.
I am the great granddaughter of a man who ran away from his country at 12 years old because he believed it to be true that in the United States there was opportunity and he could have a good life.
I am married to a man who in his own church had someone let the info booth know that a strange man was wandering in the lobby and should they call the police.
I am the mother of children who were daily being called the "n" word at school right here in Waukesha.
There is a great rejoicing in my heart because the hope that I have kept stirring deep down in my soul...regardless of these circumstances...might now be realized by countless others.
There is rejoicing in my heart because I know that I don't just live in a world that is bound by the laws and bills of the land...but in a world where the Spirit of God is alive and well and He lives in ME and I can make a difference...and that might be now realized by countless others.
There is rejoicing in my heart because change is revolutionary and God is always up to something good. There is more to this world than what the politicians have to say about it.
There is rejoicing in my heart because my son said to me this morning...you know--I could be president and I could honestly respond--if that's what God has for you then YES YOU CAN.
God can do ANYTHING!
Oh yes. It went there!
Now I will warn you. If you are not quite ready to hear what pubescent boys have to say and what they are thinking...you might not want to read this....
The other day as we were leaving the gas station I notice the boys giggling at the attendant who was sporting very attractive hickies on her neck.
Me: So I see you boys noticed the clerk's neck huh?
Boys: (in random order) Huh? What? Oh, um, those marks?
Me: You don't have to pretend...they were hard to miss. Do you know what those were?
Isaiah: Yeah, hickies.
Izzy: Hickies...hahahahahaMe: But what is a hickie?
Elijah: When someone kisses on your neck?
Isaiah: Well, not just kiss...
Me: What?
Isaiah: They gotta suck on it.
Izzy: On your neck? That's weird.
(Oh yes. Please continue to feel this way for at least another 6 years...please)
Elijah: Ohhhh....the girl I think is cute....her sister had a hickie!
Isaiah: ****?? (says name of the girl) She's hot.
Elijah: Yeah, she's in 8th grade.
Me: Do you think hickies are hot?
(now heed this warning...do not ask these kind of questions unless you are ready for the answers)
Isaiah: NO...I think it's kind of sick.
Me: But you still think *** is hot.
Isaiah: Yeah...
Elijah: Oh yeah
Me: Would you date her?
Izzy: We aren't allowed to date...
Me: (sigh) If you were allowed to date, would you date her?
Isaiah: Maybe.Me: That is hormones talking.
Izzy: What's hormones?
At this point Elijah turns beat red and starts laughing uncontrollably
Me: Remember when we talked about how during puberty your body is going to change? And how as you become a teenager you will sometimes have feelings that might make your heart race...your face feel warm...that's hormones.
Isaiah: Yeah...it's also what makes your pants...(he looks at me, smiles)..nevermind
Me: ANYWAY...your hormones can really mess things up if you don't remember to be focused on what's important.
Izzy: How?
Me: Well, look at what you just said. You guys thought hickies were gross. But when a girl that you think is hot had hickies you didn't say gross....it didn't change the way you thought about her because of your hormones and thinking she is hot.
Isaiah: Yeah...
Me: What do you think about a girl that has a hickie?
Isaiah: That's she's nasty...maybe a ho
Me: Would you want to date a girl like that? Any of you?
Boys: Naw...eww, that's nasty....no way...
Isaiah: Well, like she might be nice, like a friend, but I wouldn't want to date her.
Me: So why would you still think of *** as hot? Why would you still think about her? Because of hormones...it's why I want you boys not to think with your hormones...with your desires because it clouds your judgement. Remember that song we sang, "Man looks on the outside, but God looks...on the heart?" Well, it's true. But we should be trying to live and look on the inside because God's got it right. Let's say you were blind or I blindfolded you. You got to spend time knowing some girls. Someone also told you a little bit about them, but you couldn't see them. Say one you had a great conversation with...you had a lot in common...you laughed, had a great time. And another you didn't have anything in common with...she was a little rude and fast, flirting and talking inappropriately. Based on that alone---who would you pick as a girlfriend?Elijah: The one that I got along wth...
Isaiah: Yeah
Me: And what if when you took your blindfold off...you found out the other one was "hotter"? Isaiah: I get it. Looks aren't the most important thing.
Me: I just want you to try and put your hormones in check. You guys are too young to have a lot of the drama and stress that comes with dating, having girls as more than friends. You have raging hormones but don't really know what to do with them yet.
Elijah: How do you know?
Me: Because it's what made you say that hickies are gross and yet in the same breath say that you'd date a girl with a hickie because she's hot. Thinking with your mind and heart...you choose more wisely. Thinking with your hormones is 9 times out of 10 gonna lead to trouble.
Isaiah: So mom...
Me: Yeah?
Isaiah: Um, I know I can't have a girlfriend NOW (this is a boy who would love to call a particular girl his girlfriend)
Me: No...you aren't allowed to go anywhere with a girl alone..you aren't allowed to go on dates...so there really isn't a point to have a girlfriend. I know your gonna like girls...they are gonna like you...but there's no reason to have a girlfriend.
Isaiah: Ok. But how about 8th grade? Can we talk about it then?
Elijah: Sabes que....he really wants to date Victoria!!
Izzy: ooooo...Victoria!!
Me: Let's get through 7th grade before we go there ok?
One day at a time.
I have been learning so much about myself, leadership, conflict, change in the last month...I am coming out of it growing and understanding, it's a good thing.
While there certainly isn't total peace in my heart yet about everything that is going on, there is commitment to stand firm in what Christ would have me do...respond as Christ would have me respond...
Tonight my boss and I are going to dinner with the volunteer who I have been having conflict with. More and more I see that I have to make the choice what to enter into. There are some key ministry decisions that might be best for the kids, the department, our mission to kids. These do not and should not reflect the fact that we don't get along the best. I want to always lead humbly, out of reverence for God's timing and with His hand on all situations. Dinner tonight was extended before the issue I talked about previously in my other post...but there was no reason not to keep it. In fact, how precious is God's timing that we would have this opportunity outside of the walls of the church, away from ministry to just break bread together. I have no grandiose expectations for the evening other than a chance to reach out and build bridges. Whether or not we see eye to eye or are each other's cup of tea...I want to do what I can to extend grace and love.
Scripture says to make every effort...and so I will. Not out of obligation, but out of a desire to be obedient and knowing that God will bless the situation and He goes before me.
I'll let you know how it goes. :)
Ok...she might just die of embarrassment...but I really just have to post this not simply because of bragging mom rights. :)I post this also...as full fledged proof of God's redeeming grace and forgiveness...His merciful way of taking our trash and making wonderful amazing things from it...His never-ending, no boundaries, unconditional love.Many of you know that I was 19 when I got pregnant.
Shortly after I turned 20 Jordyn was born and I was thrust into motherhood. For the most part, I was a good mom. But every moment that she was with her dad...I threw myself into a crazy, wild, "Girls Gone Wild" existence. I ran from God every chance I had. I kept Him in a box and brought Him out when I had messed up and needed a savior. It wasn't until many, many years later that I realized that what I really needed was a SAVIOR! It's been a whirlwind journey and I am continually in awe of my Jesus.
So when Jordyn brought this letter of recommendation home, well it brought me to tears. There are so many that would have looked at me....20 years old, a party girl, inexperienced young mom who basically grew up with my daughter, working full time and in college, relying so much on my parents....and never, never have imagined that my daughter would have turned out like this. Please read it as a reminder that NOBODY is ever a lost cause. Please know that I am not looking for kudos as her mom. As a parent I can take only a very small sliver of credit...He has created and gifted her to be an outstanding human being with an amazing future ahead of her. He has done that.
To whom it may concern,
It is with great pleasure that I recommend Jordyn Calderon to your university. I have had the opportunity to work with Jordyn throughout her high school experience as her yearbook advisor. Jordyn joined the staff during her sophomore year and quickly became one of the leaders of the yearbook class. She served as the junior editor and now is the senior editor. Such a title does not come without hard work and persistence. I am constantly impressed by Jordyn's ability to lead by example and the passion she puts into making a nationally recognized yearbook. It is obvious that the other staff members look up to her and that Jordyn has the necessary skills to become a successful teacher. In fact, I can not imagine a better teacher candidtate and can only hope that Jordyn will teach my children someday.
Jordyn is a very balanced young woman. I believe she has developed this characteristic by being involved in a variety of school and community activities. During her time at Waukesha South she has participated in National Honor Society, Prom Committee, stage crew and Yearbook. She has also spent time volunteering at her church and preparing various community events. During all of these time consuming activities Jordyn has maintained a part time job and outstanding academics. Academics are extremely important to Jordyn. She is a student who is constantly challenging herself and truly loves learning. She has taken and been successful in all eight of her advanced placement classes.Jordyn possesses many wonderful qualities.
However, one quality that I feel is in special need of recognition is her genuine sincerity towards others. Jordyn is a very caring person who can relate to all different types of people. I have seen Jordyn demonstrate this quality firsthand in the classroom and with her friends.
In closing, I hope you will consider Jordyn Calderon as an applicant to your university. By helping Jordyn pursue her dreams at your university..you will in turn be helping our society, for I know Jordyn will be a strong leader in her community in the years to come.
To God be the Glory.
Hey everyone...
Did ya think I fell off the face of the earth? I was starting to feel that way too! There was a good couple weeks where there was nothing on my mind except praying for and dealing with the uncomfortable ministry situation that was occurring at my job. It made it very hard to focus on anything else and I found that every time I started to blog all I could talk about was that...and so I would stop myself. I don't like to be a squeaky wheel and I really don't like to run my mouth...so I found it best just to stay away...lol!!
Life has been good and gettng back to normal. I have a few speaking engagements scheduled for this fall and have already been booked for somthing next year. That's really exciting to me. :) I am always thankful for ways to share God's truth!!
Jordyn had her last high school homecoming dance tonight. Her friend did her hair and she looked soooo beautiful! I'll get some pictures posted tomorrow.
Well it's very late/early...lol...and I have a few friends coming to church tomorrow so I'd better get my lil hiney to bed! Plus...I need a good snuggle session with my hubby! My neck has been bothering me a lot lately and so I havent been able to snuggle. When it aches I have to switch positions so much....sometimes sleep some of the night in the recliner....not conducive to snuggling!! Just wanted to get a post up and let you know I am alive and well and as always...so thankful to God for His amazing grace, truth and love!!
Well people...as you know from my previous post...there has been some ministry turmoil in my life. There are actually two situations occurring in my home at this present time. My husband is dealing with some MAJOR issues with his ministry agency and this, as a result, has trickled out to our church--who is one of his financial supporters. The lack of accountability, leadership and protection by his ministry agency is simply appalling to me...and that having been said I'm going to shut my mouth about it because I don't want to make things any worse then they are. We are seeking counsel about how to proceed and what the next step is.
The other situation is one that I am dealing with at work. Things have escalated to an all time high and it is much more than just a different "flava" in ministry. In an e-mail to me...this person gave extensive and detailed changes that he wants made in the curriculum lessons because he believes in doing the best lessons and his really are the best choices (his words not mine) and then proceeded to end his e-mail with this, Mindy, if I could somehow sell my company and do your job for my pay, I would be after your job tomorrow!
We have made this man a leader and Deacon in our ministry...we have given him power and authority over the 8 years he has been in Children's Ministry...there have been hundreds of inappropriate comments...and it has culminated with this statement.
I must admit that as I was first reading the e-mail I was not surprised. There was an issue earlier in the week (which resulted in the post on Thursday) that was taken care of in a way he did not like and I was told that his behavior at church today was simply appalling. I was a little concerned that something was up because both his wife and son barely spoke to me and would not make eye contact when I said hello. From past experience I had a feeling that if he let the other situation lie...there would be another issue that would suddenly become a battle. Just as he has been around for 8 years...I have as well and the entire time we have served in the same department. I know of his antics in Children's Ministry well. I was totally unprepared, however, for the personal attack at the end of his lengthy e-mail. I felt as if I had been spit on or punched in the stomach.
My gut reaction was shock...then anger...then I cried...then weary. There was nothing of Jesus in that e-mail. I agonize for hours when sending this man e-mails, pray with our Pastor when I know there may be difficult conversations so that I can exemplify Jesus. So that I stay armored up. I am not saying this for kuddos, because I know that is what I am called to do. But that's just it. Those are attributes, expectations that we should have for a leader in the church. I am not saying that I always succeed in being Christ-like in my interactions...of course not. But the desire to be obedient to the Holy Spirit and reflect the light of Jesus always needs to supercede my desire to tongue lash. How did we get to the situation where we have a leader, an appointed leader at that (being a Deacon) who is allowed to get away with this for YEARS?
Today I am meeting with my Pastor to discuss this further (he cc'd her on the e-mail) She is going to meet with him individually and correct him and let him know that he needs to apologize. I don't want his apology if it isn't sincere. I know that I am called to forgive and I will do the internal work I need to in order to do so. Quite honestly, I am still a little shocked that someone would be so bold as to put those words in an e-mal...not that they would think them...but that they'd put them in an e-mail...lol. But I know and believe that words can't hurt me and this morning I am really more annoyed than anything by his statement. Part of me wants to say...oh boy---come and take my job because I can't deal with volunteers like you anymore...lol! What does concern me though is the fact that I know this is not the first time something like this has occurred. It's not even the second time...or tenth time...or sixtieth time. Jesus loved, he forgave, he was gentle and kind. He also corrected and told the truth.
Please pray for me and my Pastor today as we meet to talk about this, pray, figure out how to proceed, what to do. Pray for our ministry and that we are able to keep this out of Sunday mornings. The feeling around the department yesterday was one of turmoil and frustration. Pray for him and his family. That he is able to fully experience the joy of Christ and the privilege it is to serve Him. Pray for me...that I am able to stay humble, kind, loving...while speaking the truth and seeking God's direction at all times in my leading.
Have a great day and may you fully experience God's grace today!!
What can you do when individuals in ministry suck you of your joy, patience and their negativity, cynicism and selfishness leave you with a bad taste in your mouth??
PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY...definitely.
But sometimes, sometimes you just need to tell them about themselves as well.
It's funny how when I have a "Praise the Lord" moment like I did on Tuesday (read my Unity note if you haven't) it is often followed by a "What in the world am I doing this for?" moment.
Here's what I've found works for me to put things in perspective...
1) What is truth and what is just worldview? For me, this is especially important to keep in mind working where I do. My life experience and my world view is VERY, VERY different than many other people that I work with. This is a result of my family, my ethnicity, my past, my flava...if you will. Some of that does not make me right and the other person's opinion wrong. It does not make them right and me wrong. Being unified does not mean agreeing with everything or with becoming a cookie cutter Christian.
2) Take a breath and process. When I gut respond to things that I find offensive or questionable..I've found that I am almost ALWAYS responding in the flesh. Flesh Mindy---she's pretty jazzy, sarcastic, crass and socially inappropriate. Spirit Mindy---well, quite honestly is still pretty jazzy and what others consider socially inappropriate...lol...but she is definately not as sarcastic or crass. Taking myself away from the situation/phone call/conversation/e-mail for a bit definitely helps with perspective.
3) Remember that Christ loves this person. This person is His child. I only know what I see...not what is in the innermost part of their heart. It isn't my job to judge them or change them or make them see things my way.
4) I am only responsible for my actions and my reactions. If they behave inappropriately that is there's to deal with. If I do...that's all me.
5) Sometimes...after working through all of this...uncomfortable conversations still need to be had. Conflict needs to be resolved and yes, sometimes they need to be told about themselves...lol. When I am in the wrong, I want someone to tell me about myself too. This doesn't have to be done rudely, angrily with a scolding tone. It can be done in the Spirit and with love. It can be done simply because in holding others accountable=there is sometimes correction.
6) Often times...what I'm finding is that the person is just who they are. They have no desire to grow, change, find middle ground. They want you to change to their viewpoint and might just through a tantrum if you don't. This one is always hard for me because I dont respond well to bullying, tantrum throwing or threats. But what I can do is continuously extend grace...keep my eyes focused on Jesus...and set about His business.
What in the world am I doing this for?
Him. His call on my life is greater than any uncomfortable conversation...it's greater than any ignorance...and it's greater than being aggitated by bullies who think if they rant and rave they will get their way.
My focus must remain, at all times, bringing glory to His kingdom...by loving the Lord, my God with all my heart, mind, soul and spirit and loving others as myself. All others. Not just the ones I agree with or like.
