Tuesday Nite Live-Parenting Nite

Yesterday was a pretty uneventful day...work was busy of course but not much to do around here. Homework with the kids, made dinner, did some laundry...watched the White Rapper Show...lol. Tonight will be different because it's Tuesday Nite Live at church. Instead of having our normal bible study nights for adults we are having a Parent Nite and speaker. Tonight Pam DeRosa is coming to talk about eating disorders, self-image and good eating habits. We are hoping for a good turn-out. Having suffered from bulimia for over 12 years...I can tell you that waiting until you find out is too late. There are things you need to instill in your kids years before they get to the age where it starts. When my mom found out I know she did the best she could...it was hard because in the late 80s bulimia wasn't a hot topic button like it is now. It wasn't out in the open and wasn't seen as a true disorder. I was forbid to continue doing it, cried a lot and agreed...but then didn't have the first clue about how to actually stop. I kind of slowed down with it for awhile, but never truly stopped. I remember my senior year we went on a trip to New York for choir and my friends all watching me. Not letting me alone really ever. My bulimia started when I was about 16 and switched to a new dance school. Her name was Mrs. Van der Hoff and she was so mean. Amazing ballet teacher, but she used to use her stick to poke and prod out bodies while we were in position (which many dance teachers do--that wasn't so bad) but she would often hit my waist---where I have always carried the majority of my weight whether thin or heavy---and tell me that I was fat. Fatter than the other girls. It became my goal to have no flab in my middle. Of course because of the way I was shaped that was virtually impossible. That was when it started.
Do not be fooled. It might start as a response to your enviromment but it becomes such a mentally controlling thing...it is almost impossible to stop. As I said it subsided some my senior year after my mom found out...but the second I went off to college it was in full fledge mode again. Even worse because many of the girls there were bulimic too. It was easier to hide because of all of my dance classes each week and all of the walking I did. It wasn't odd that I was so thin. That is really when the mental game kicked in because at that time I did not need to purge to maintain my weight. We were poor college kids so there was never a ton of food around...lol...I was in dance class 4 days a week, walked everywhere I needed to go in Chicago...and used to walk the 14 flights to my dorm room instead of taking the rickety ol' elevator. I did not need to purge to maintain my weight. But I couldn't handle the feeling of food in my stomach. It used to physically make me feel sick and mentally it made me feel out of control. The only way to have peace was to not "feel" any food in my system. When I came back home after my freshman year because I switched schools...I decided that I wasn't going to be bulimic anymore. This lasted for a few months but soon became exercise induced bulimia--because I was back at home, more "mature" and older I felt that being bulimic simply wasn't okay anymore---so while I binged and purged much, much less---I took Jazzercise sometimes 3 times a day! I was young, single mom by then so it was easy not to eat a lot...I was in college, worked, ran around after my daughter. As I grew older and gained weight because of lifestyle change, having more kids, wanting to feel I was "over" my bulimia...I truly thought that I was over my demons but the mental control game lives on long after the actual act of bulimia has ceased. For many, many years there was an internal battle of making myself stop. I often times fought against the desire to purge and once in a while that desire would get the best of me. Intense counseling and about 6 years ago when I had to go on anti-depressants and gained 60 pounds---those both helped tremendously believe it or not. It's strange because while I am definately over the desire to purge...sometimes I do wonder if that is part of why I have such trouble losing weight...or following an exercise program. There have been times over the past 6 years where I have started to follow a diet and lose weight and it's like I always sabotage myself because I know how easy it is for me to go overboard and let myself be taken over. If there's one area (um...yeah, like there's only one...lol) where I have yet to submit to the Lord it is with food. While it certainly is not an everyday control thing anymore or even something that I think about often...I wonder if maybe it will always a head game and continual struggle.
Anyway....

Hm....

Wow, who knew THAT discussion was so close to the surface...lol.

The point....get your information as parents EARLY. Be prepared for what your kids might face and suffer from.

Off to the shower and then to get these kids to school. Have a peachy day!!