More from Breakaway...

It's so funny how when God has taught me something he then gives me opportunity to use it. Another thing we learned at Breakaway was 5 secrets for Living a Joy Filled Life (I touched briefly on that in my other post) One of the secrets is to sing. It really is so true. Yesterday was a hard day for me. My Grandma has decided to sell her house. There is a lot of redevelopment desired on our street. There's a man who has bought and tore down several houses on our street, but there were a few hold outs because the city has said there is no plan to rezone our side of the street. My Grandma, however, is feeling the pressure to move and I think emotionally has been separating from her house and plans of dying there. (she has lived there 37 or 38 years and has always talked about staying there until it's her time to go)
There are many emotional ties to that house. My Grandpa died there...my Great Grandpa lived out the last years of his life there with she and my Aunt caring for him....over the year various family members have stayed there when they had no place to go. My Aunt Linda has lived with her for the past 31 years and raised her children there. So anyway, for her own personal reasons--both emotional and financial she has decided to sell-even though there is a part of her that isn't sure it's what she should do. Of course there will be many different opinions in my family (after all there are 25 grandkids, 10 kids and spouses, and 22 great grandkids) She and I talk often because I go next door just about every night to give her her insulin shot. I told her that no matter what she chose--there were going to be some that didn't agree with her. She had to pray (talk with my Aunt Linda because that is who she plans to move with) and then make a decision that is best for them. But she has tears in her eyes when she talks about leaving. I have tears in my eyes when I think that she won't be my neighbor anymore---will our family holidays be the same---how will this impact the many emotional scars that were kept hidden in that house---will she really be able to handle leaving? Will my Aunt be able to find a place that is affordable and has room for her two kids still at home and my Grandma? They have until Sept. to live rent free--but then they have to be out. I pray that everyone-no matter what their opinion of the situation-will be able to support and help her.

So, back to how what I learned at Breakaway impacted that. The just-yesterday I was down. Normally I sing a lot. Sometimes I don't even realize that I am doing it until someone makes a comment when I am NOT singing. Yesterday was a day that several people asked me, "No song today?" "What's wrong-you're not singing?" "Uh-oh--no singing today" I would just smile because I really didn't feel in my heart like I wanted to sing. Then last night at Tuesday Nite Live I had to lead worship for about 50 women. I prayed before going up that God would touch my heart and that I would worship him with full abandon of my soul. As I started the first song, I could tell it was just me singing the words and not the spirit moving in me. (I know this might sound bizarre, but it is true that I can tell the difference and I can audibly hear a difference as well) By the chorus:

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be the name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name!

I was filled with joy. I could feel the smile on my face without having to put it there. I could hear my voice change as it was no longer me trying to hit right notes but Him through me wanting to express His glory through song to others around me. The rest of the night my heart was peaceful, my spirit was joy-filled...when I kissed my Grandma good-night and hugged her just a little tighter than normal I could feel a calm. There is no need to stress--He is in control.

So sing. It sounds silly, it's not. You will feel your heart change and a smile take over as true JOY fills you.