I'm an ENFP

Because I am such a blogger copy cat at times...lol, I just had to take this personality test that my friend Brandon took. It's actually pretty accurate---spooky!

A meme from the past....

I did this meme once before--many months ago, but came across it this morning as I'm vegging out and putting off starting my day, so I thought I'd repost it and see what my answers were this time.

I AM: exhausted and have a horrible head cold.

I WANT: Isaiah to have an amazing time at Sno Rodeo with the middle school ministry

I WISH: that all of my laundry would just magically be done without me having to do it...lol!

I HATE: that my Grandma's house was torn down when I couldn't stay to watch it all.

I HEAR: Izzy playing Wii

I WONDER: if the other boys are awake yet?

I REGRET: worrying so much about money because I know that when Marlon and I focus on that things are worse and we don't have our focus right and then we often find ourselves in MORE trouble.

I AM NOT: going to veg all day---I will get up and be productive!

I DANCE: a lot

I SING: because I'm happy!

I CRY: at the drop of a hat

I AM NOT ALWAYS: obedient.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: gifts of love

I WRITE: a lot

I CONFUSE: still the make and model of cars...I have no idea which is which...lol

I NEED: to really enjoy these next few days off and put them to good use

I SHOULD: start eating more healthy

I START: my daily devotions and then get lazy and fade off...only to start again a few days later...

I FINISH: people's sentences---it's a bad habit!!

Short lil recap....

so much to blog about and just really not in a bloggin' mood. just checking in---

Christmas was wonderful. Christmas Eve was a little sad and strange...not being at Grandma's house...but we were all together and everyone loved the video. The kids enjoyed their gifts and then later in the day on Tues. we went to my mom's and her side of the family came over. That is always a good time too as I don't see my cousin's on her side as often. Wed. morning we left out for the Chula Vista with Connie and her family. Not before the tear down of my Grandma's house started though. We staed to watch a little of it--along with a lot of my other family who drove over to watch as well. It was hard for me to leave because I really wanted to watch it from start to finish, but we had to get on the road. Made it to Wisc. Dells with no problems and the room was beautiful! My parents came up late on Wed. night and stayed for a night with us. Such fun. Although as usual I did a few too many tube slides for my back and neck...lol! Due to the nasty weather and a puking cousin we headed out this morning for home at 10:30. With only a bathroom and gas stop it took us 3 hours to get home from Wisc. Dells! Now everyone is relaxing/napping and I am getting ready to lay down myself.

I had thought that looking at my Grandma's empty house was hard. Looking at the spot where the house used to be---harder.

Will blog more later.

So the last DVD cover has been trimmed and inserted into it's case, the last gift wrapped, a son or two knocked out at Wii boxing (woohooo---such a good way to get out aggression...lol), the Nesco dusted and cleaned for the 10lbs. of ground beef I'll be making tomorrow, at least 4 loads of laundry completed...I think I'm ready for Christmas!! Today was really a wonderful day. Relaxing. I made a couple of trips out as I needed to...but there was no rhyme or reason to how anything had to happen. We got a couple of fun Wii games in all together, I made a yummy dinner and we ate together...all that was missing was Jorgy!! I'm glad tho' that she has so much fun with her dad's family and that they are so close. There are many situations like ours where the dad's aren't involved, or the kids don't feel so close as they get older, not here. Her dad's family just loves her to death and it's a good thing. I was thinking yesterday as we 'stole' her back from them for a few hours to open presents and have lunch, that things are going to be so different when she goes away to college. Her time will be limited to begin with and friends are going to be as important to catch up with as her family when she comes home. My friend is such a great role model of how to handle those sometimes ackward years as your child is growing up and out and really not "your baby" anymore. She and her husband have a situation where her daughter and son in law live out east with her precious granddaughter. When they come back to the midwest for holidays and visits, the time is split between both sets of grandparents. For whatever reason, plans of visits and time always seem to be based on what the other grandparents want and what their plans are. My friend told me that long ago she and her husband decided that they were going to try not to do anything to exasperate the situation. They weren't going to be demanding of their time, pout if they didn't get their way, cause the couple any more stress then they might be already having trying to accommodate everyone. Often times they find that the time they have is wonderful, it really doesn't matter if it was their "first" choice of when to be together. Other times, patience and love pays off and suddenly the plans change and they are able to do what the originally intended. Either way, it's great modeling for me. My sister and I have stayed in the area and basically haven't changed or deviated much from what we've always done. As a result, there hasn't been a lot of contention in our home. This may not be the case with our children, especially in the case of Jordyn because she will not only have her own two sets of parents and grandparents...she'll likely have inlaws as well. I pray that I am able to stand back and let her do what she needs to so that her marriage is first and strong and that I don't 'guilt' her into doing what I think is right. Whew---that's gonna be a lot of hard work because while I try to do that now...I know that sometimes I fail. If I'm honest...I know there's been times where I feel like she's choosing her dad's family over ours...normally, I try to be her advocate and give her that freedom--keeping my hurt feelings at bay, but more times then I like to admit, I let my feelings dictate the way that I act and that's so unfair. So anyway....not sure how that came from talking about my day...lol...but that's the fun of just getting on and blogging with no intention!!
Well, I'm off to fold one last load of laundry and stick the ground beef in the fridge to finish thawing. Not sure if I'll get a chance to get on tomorrow, so if not----have an enjoyable, Christ filled Christmas. Remember to let go of any insignificant nonsense because ultimately it will just take your focus away from what the day is about---paying homage to the amazing Savior that came to earth as an infant so that you and I could have eternal life.
Nite!!

Family Gift

So this is what has consumed my last two weeks. I made this video slideshow thingy I mentioned in another post for my family/extended family on my dad's side. You may know from reading this, or just knowing me...that the Calderon family is HUGE! ...and close. There is my Grandma, an amazing woman who did her best raising 10 children basically on her own. After my Grandpa died in '76, most of the kids were in their teen years and there she was alone. While my family certainly has it's share of heartache and problems...it certainly can't be from a lack of love from my Grandma. Then come 26 grandkids of which I am the oldest. Aside of one cousin who lives in Cali, we all live within 30 minutes of each other. Many of us visit her weekly, if not more...lol...and everyone is definately there for parties, picnics and holidays. Then the great grandkids have started to come and that's already to 21 or 22 (sometimes I lose count...lol) Add in the inlaws and significant others and it's quite the crew!! Last year Marlon made this great DVD slideshow for his family so I decided to do a little copying and do the same for my family. So over the course of the month, I went to my Grandma's house and got her box of pictures and albums and Jordyn helped me scan in the photos. She really helped me out so much because that was a big time saver for me---having her help. These past two weeks though have really been the kicker as I've been learning how to use the software to make the darn thing and then choosing the pictues, figuring out the layout I wanted to use...one night I kept getting kicked out of Roxio and it was driving me bonkers! But it is finally finished and I actually just burned the last copy. I am going to give one to each of the people over 18 for Christmas. Now I just have to make copies of the case insert and I'm good to go.
This has been a blessed time for our family. I look around and all I can see is blessing. Even in the middle of pain there's blessing. Grandma doesn't have to go for her 2nd stress test until the 30th---which was her prayer, that she wouldn't be in the hospital over Christmas. My aunt's doctor decided against surgery and instead wants her to try a new diet for a while to see how that helps---so she came home the other day as well!! Thanks to all for their prayers. We still have a long way to go in knowing fully what the story is for my Grandma, but I have extreme faith and am staying in constant prayer that everyone is able to handle whatever God has decided is her path. She is not as afraid anymore and says she knows that God is going to take care of her no matter what. She is very thankful that she wasn't in the hospital over Christmas and says that God knew how hard and bad that would have been. We exchanged gifts at my parents yesterday (my immediate family). My parents got the boys a Wii and so they are off and running--or should I say bowling! Connie and her family are taking the 6 of us with them to the Chula Vista for our Christmas gift. We're leaving Wed. for three days and two nights away! The perfect gift for us, I'm so excited. Jordyn got a video camera which she really wanted this year, so she was excited.
Now today is going to be very relaxing. All I need to do is run out to Starbucks to get a gift card to finish up a gift for Marlon's pop's house and get my meatballs and stuff to take to my mom's on Christmas day. Other than that, I'm doing some laundry and cleaning throughout the day, watching TV and I'm sure beating someone up in Wii boxing later ;)
Have a great day!!

Teen MOPS Christmas Celebration!

I've started updating the teen MOPS blog again. Check it out HERE

Ministry--the stress and chaos of the day--totally dissolved as the evening begins. He's so faithful EVERYTIME! Why do we forget that so often? We can do nothing without Him. It may seem like it for awhile--that's Satan's lie---but we will somehow always end up in the same place if we don't stay close to Him. We fall back into our old habits and walk down those dark paths so easily. Materialism, gossip, anger, lying, judgement, disobedience...

Today I choose to put aside my earthly desires and things of this world.

Just around the corner..

Wow another week has passed and here I sit. I must say that leaving things until the last minute really helps you simplify things...lol! Since we just got the tree on Saturday and let it fall last night---we'll decorate it tonight and forego both lights and the popcorn/cranberry strings. :) With everything happening with my Grandma (2nd MRI is tomorrow to check out the "thing" they now see on her spine), my aunt may now be having surgery and is probably going to be in the hospital over Christmas, a slideshow video gift I'm making my family, other odd and end "issues" (nothing major) I've found that the joy I normally have is still there---it's just different. I need no hoopla for Christmas anymore. It's a strange realization to come to...because so much of my love of Christmas has always been mostly the "hoopla"...but I can see a definate change in my heart this year. It's a good thing.

Friday I spoke at Cross Trainers Academy in Milw. So great. I spoke to the kids about the gift of Jesus and how it's so much more of a story than the baby in the manger. It was sweet of some of the kids to remember me. Just another reminder how when I am supposed to be doing the giving---I always get much more back in return.

The week is going to fly by---there's a lot planned and needing to be done (Christmas shopping included in that!) Marlon and I might get out there tonight and do a little of our shopping.

Please remember the reason for this season. Pastor Stuart Briscoe has been doing an amazing and challenging series this month on The Reason for the Season. You can check it out here. http://www.cometothebrook.org/
It's important that we remember the entire story. We live in a fallen sinful world. There is pain and suffering, there are lost and lonely people, we make poor choices for our lives, we fall prey to Satan's lies...all the while there is this Savior---He comes with the truth, those who know and follow Him know the freedom of the truth. The miracle of it all is that in the midst of knowing Him and striving to live like Him---the merciless find mercy, the unkind learn to be kind, the selfish learn to think of others, those that don't believe-do. I need nothing of this world to satisfy me. I need nothing of this world to give me value. I need nothing of this world to sustain me. In all things, at all times, the love and sacrifice of His life covers me and I live in that freedom.

The challenge isn't to just say these things. The challenge is to live them out when I am surrounded by the mentality and state of our communities. When a "keeping up with the Jones'" thought process is seen as okay. When more stuff seems to be a key to happiness. When people live with their heads in the clouds of what is happening to the world around them. When Christian famililes get lost in what is important and allow themselves to be sucked into the lies of this world (and I speak from experience here) I do not leave myself out of these challenges. If it feels like I may be speaking to you, know that I am also speaking to myself.

My good friend Amy started doing some prayers and praises on her blog awhile back. I really thought the idea was a good one and so I'm gonna copy that with some prayers and praises on my own. Thanks Amy!

~please pray for the Teen MOPS Christmas event. Pray that the last details fall into place and that many of the young moms are able to come. Pray they feel loved and safe--even if for the night.
~continue to pray please for my Grandma and her health
~pray that I continue to refocus my eyes upward and not be distracted by this world.
~praise that God is faithful beyond what we could imagine!
~praise that Elijah was able to switch basketball teams
~praise that i have off from Dec. 21 through Jan. 2 ---this will be a major time of rest, reflection and also some fun family stuff planned.

God is good. All the time.

Exhausted...

I am exhausted. Had a very good weekend...but today I am just feeling like I am draggin, draggin, draggin...

Friday I got started on my Christmas cookie mix in a jar gifts. I am making these this year for a BUNCH of people and some from Children's Ministry at church as well. My sister and her family came and they all went sledding for a bit. Jordyn went sledding with friends and then had hung out at her friends house. Actually Connie, Nia and Keyonna only went sledding for a little bit and then they came back to our house. Connie helped me out a lot with making the recipe cards for the jars. When the "men" came back we ordered Toppers pizza. I think they went home about 10 or 10:30. It was such a fun night.

Saturday was such a long busy day. But a good day. Marlon had to be up and at South by 6am to help set up for the basketball tournament. Jordyn got to sleep in a bit because she was hanging out with her friend Maggie--having lunch and studying for a test together. I had the boys to South by 7:30 for Elijah's 8am game. After the game, I ran a couple of errands and then was back to the school at 10:15 for my volunteer time. My time slot was 10:15 to 1:15. It actually went fairly quickly and one of the ladies I was paired up with went to high school with me! Elijah's game started at 1 so I went over the that side of the gym and caught most of the game. Izzy and I left at 2 and headed over to James Place. What an amazing afternoon it was. It started out slow, but by 4:30ish we were in full swing. A few of the teen MOPS girls came, a lot of the same people who were at our event in October, then just new random people as well. The food was so delicious! Chicken noodle and potato soup, ham sandwiches, apples, hot cocoa bar...a ton of great desserts...
We sang carols, a few of us gave short testimonies, the decoration give-aways were a HUGE hit. The woman who won the Christmas tree was so excited because they weren't going to have a tree this year. Just an awesome time filled with tears, laughter, hugs, kids running everywhere....
Then Izzy and I left to get to Isaiah's basketball game at 6 (we were a little late) and stayed for his game at 8 as well. Afterwards I stopped by my grandma's for her shot and got home about 9:45. It was a longgggggggggggggggggg day.
Sunday found us all up and out of the house early. Marlon and the boys back up to south for more games and Jordyn and I to church. Afterwards we all met up for lunch at home and then to south for Isaiah's games. Elijah, Izzy and I stopped by my Grandma's in between the games just to visit. In a way--I'm glad that we didn't make it to the championships because we were home by 5:30! Yay! This meant we all had dinner together (which we really haven't often since basketball started) and watched the Amazing Race together. I almost finished the cookie mix jars (yay!) and started working on my talk for Friday. I am sharing the Christmas story at Crossroads Academy (the school where I led worship last month) I am thinking I am going to wear a shepherds costume and let them know what happened on Christmas night)

Anyway---this week is going to be a blur---as actually every day is just about until Christmas. One day. One day at a time. That's all I can do. As Stuart Briscoe has so often told us: Keep on keepin' on and Put first things first!

Tis the Season...

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Man, I love that song. Any time of year, any time of day...I can hear that song and it helps. So many things are going on right now that I'm not even sure why I'm trying to blog. There's a part of me that just doesn't even feel like doing any kind of recap of the last week and yet there's another that needs to get it all out. My grandma had her colonoscopy on Tuesday and they removed 6 polops. After the bone density test on Mon. the surgeon will review all of the tests and then they'll schedule the surgery. Her spirits go back and forth between exhaustion, frustration, fear and contentment. Today I just found out my aunt is in the hospital as well. They're keeping her overnight. She has crohn's disease and initially went in because she wasn't feeling well...now they're testing to see if she might have a blood clot or had a small stroke??? My uncle just back into town and got in trouble on the very first day back and is in jail...my cousin is going through a tough divorce...emtionally if I let myself go there, there's just heartache for my family.

But I know what I know that I know...that the circumstances we find ourselves in are not concrete. That the only constant in life is Christ and the eternal life that I have in Him. And in the middle of mess some amazing things have happened. Our furnace died last night and we woke up to a 55 degree house today. Our landlord came right out today and fixed it! Isaiah needed a new coat and our finances still continue to be a struggle and my parents offered to buy it! Jordyn, our amazingly brilliant child is ranked SEVENTH in her class. We have an opportunity through teen MOPS to take 10 of our girls shopping at The Christmas Store in Milwaukee so they can buy brand new Christmas gifts for their children at 90% off the price! Saturday is an outreach at James Place and the donations that we've been given for the day are wonderful!

God is good. All the time. I live in faith and hold onto His truth through all storms.

Quick update...

My Grandma has her 1st test (stress test) scheduled for this Monday and then the bone marrow test scheduled for the 10th. They originally wanted to do both on the same day, but the unit supervisor called her yesterday to let her know that it would be way too much radiation in her body to do both too close together. She will not have the standard treadmill stress test. I guess there is a chemical way to bring your heart rate up and down. Technology is so bizarre. As of yesterday the place doing the colonoscopy still had not gotten the orders from the dr. doing the surgery that they needed to fit her in asap. The plan is still before Christmas for everything. She had asked the dr. again at her appointment on Wed. if she could wait until after Christmas. He strongly advised against it. After a conversation with my Uncle and Aunt...it seems she has resigned herself to the fact that it is better to follow his orders and not wait. She is so grateful that there are so many people praying for her, even those she doesn't know...and she told me last night that she believes in miracles and is going to try and not let it bother her too much.

This weekend brings us an indoor game tonight and birthday party sleep over for Isaiah, 8th grade reunion party for Jordyn, basketball tournament for Elijah, Teen MOPS Christmas party for me and prison for Marlon. Just a couple of things...lol. Somewhere in there I am getting out my Christmas stuff!!

Have a wonderful weekend! It's a good weekend for cocoa and jammies!!

Prayer please.........

Please pray for my Grandma, Amelia Calderon. She asked tonight that I get this out to as many people as possible for prayer. She went for MRA results today for a mass on her kidney. She had to have my aunt tell me, but the dr. believes the tumor to be cancerous and wants it removed asap. Because of her diabetes, the dr. has several tests that need to be done first--just to be proactive in case when they go in they need to take one of her kidneys. She asked to wait until after Christmas--the dr. said no. She is really afraid. I've only ever seen my Grandma cry from sadness/fear very, very few times so it was hard to see. She actually said that if she had a choice between surgery and only 5 years left on earth she'd take the 5 years. She has always been someone who prays and talks to God---but I don't think she is in that place for herself right now.

Please pray for her to rely on God in this. For all of us to be a support for her and not to fall apart as we find out more. Pray for wisdom for her doctors and also clarity as they explain things to her. Pray for me to be strong and supportive for my family--much of whom are not believers.

Thanks. It means a lot to be able to get this out to you and know that there are people who will pray for her.

Date Nite Update!!

So if you're interested, here's the updated info for the date night Marlon and I will be speaking at. Click here> January 19th Date Nite

Would love to see you there!!

It will be a fun night with great food and music and probably a few funny stories from Marlon and I!

It's here!!

Christmas season is officially here! :) I love this time of year as I've said before, but now that Thanksgiving has passed I can celebrate it, sing carols and put up decorations without my husband thinking I'm crazy...lol!! Saturday was another low key day and I almost contemplated getting the decorations out, but I was so enjoying just being lazy and hanging out with Marlon and the boys that I didn't even have the energy. It was nice to just sit and relax. Isaiah did have a basketball game and it was so fun for the boys because two of the staff from Camp Vertical last year came to the game and then took the boys out for ice cream afterwards. Ellie is a total sports girl and so they of course think she's awesome--plus she is just hilarious. Ilisa is a hoot too and Isaiah thinks she is just beautiful...so of course he was grinning from ear to ear and blushing all day. That I think is one of the best after effects from Camp---meeting such great, positive young people. It's so easy in our society to always focus on sex crazed, drinking, partying young college students and think that is all they are in their late teens and young 20s...these two young ladies are great reminders that there is more than that out there.
Sunday my cousin and her husband had their son Tomas dedicated. Such a sweet ceremony. It was exciting for me to see some of my family there and his as well. There is strong catholic tradition in my family---even though there is not true relationship with Christ or even connection to a church---that baptism is often seen as what you need to do for your child to go to heaven. This is such a misconception. The bible is clear that baptism is not a necessary to have salvation and does not state that this is necessary at birth or infancy...to the contrary--when it's talked about the individuals are grown. Anyway.....back to what I was saying.....it was great for some of my family to see that it wasn't any strange cult experience.
Today I am excited because I see joy in my husband's eyes for the first time in a longgggggggggg time. While's he's been coming out of his funk for the last few months...today was the first time that he has some pep in his step and joy in his eyes. We had a great talk last night on the way home from prison, he had a great talk with his mentor and friend, Doug and has made some concrete decisions regarding school/ministry/travel for 2008 so that's good. By Jan 2009 he plans to be DONE with school. This will take focus, committment and attention to schoolwork as a job---not something that is fit into the schedule but truly a part of his work day. We know it is a necessary step that he must complete for him to move onto the next steps that God has planned for us. It is not enough for him to want to finish school. As a family we need to give it the importance it deserves and help him, allow him to stay on task. As a wife I must encourage rather than discourage, build up rather than tear down, believe in rather than doubt. He's practical and I'm spiritual. That's how we are and Doug told him this morning, that it sounds like we're a great match for each other to balance each other out. :) I agree.

Could it be a relaxing Friday?????????

What a great day so far. Got to sleep in (9:00!!!) and then got up and made breakfast for the boys and Marlon. (Jordyn went to her daddy's for Thanksgiving and is staying through the weekend---while I do miss her when she's gone--I know that she loves spending time there and never want her to feel like she's doing something wrong by choosing to go there instead of staying home.)
We all vegged on the couch watching Ninja Warrior and then Izzy and I headed to Wal-Mart to get his friend a gift, after which I dropped him off at the party. Marlon left at 2:30 with Elijah to the basketball tournament at Arrowhead, I went to snag Izzy from the party and now we'll leave at 5:15 for Isaiah's indoor soccer game...lol. Kind of busy middle and end of the day, but I think the relaxing morning is making it not seem so hectic.

Yesterday was a load of fun. I just really enjoy holidays with our family. We left about noon and got home about 10:30pm. Again--I hope you all had fun with your family and friends as well!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

In the midst of pain there is laughter
In the midst of frustration there is tenderness
In the midst of fear there is comfort
In the midst of life---there must be thanksgiving.

I love this time of year as it runs into Christmas. There is something powerful that affects me greatly. My childhood memories of this time of year are very happy--so I know that has something to do with it...but since becoming a Christian it means even more. Part of my love also comes from knowing that this is a raw time of year for many people and they are open to hearing the gospel and accepting kindness and love in ways they aren't during the rest of the year.

He is Creator of all. He is the beginning and the end. He always sees the big picture and always has our best interest in mind. He will always be our rock and shield. He expects us to do great things and rejoices with us when we make good decisions and turn from sin. He gives and takes away.

Things I am Thankful For: My Salvation---that He cared enough for me to lay down His life so that I might live eternally with Him in Heaven. My husband---while we drive each other crazy at times, he is my forever love. My children---their laughter, their love of life, their joy...My family---we are so close and each has such a special place/relationship. That my needs are met on a daily basis. That I have gifts I can use to help others know about Christ. That He loves me!!!.........

Couldn't we all go on and on and on and on....yes we could. On the flip side, I have to challenge myself not to allow myself to become complacent and live in a bubble where because I am thankful for those things...I forget that there is a whole big world out there that doesn't enjoy those things...that doesn't have the hope of a future...that doesn't know the freedom they can have in Christ. For me, this is easy to remember because my first mission field is my extended family. Let me never become complacent in my joy of Christ. Let me never be selfish with my thankfulness.

Enjoy your day today, however you "celebrate". Take a minute to really, really thank God!!

Much love :)

A little of this and that.......

So I haven't really had a chance yet to share the amazing day we had on Sat. So I'll do that now.

As part of Harvest Fest at Elmbrook, the "Kids Fest" always chooses a ministry to sponsor and gather donations for. This year, a great local mission was chosen, John Ross Ministries. If you've never heard of it, it's run by Maurice and Deborah Ross. This "church on wheels" goes to area parks, churches and parking lots and offers everything from food to testimonies to necessities to evenagelizing. We were going to assist with their Thanksgiving Outreach, that was going to be held in conjunction with World Outreach Center. After discussion, the Kids Fest team decided to not just support by sending donations, but also open up invitation to Elmbrook families to come and partner with JR Ministries and World Outreach Center on the day of the event. Wonderfully, 15 families stepped forward to help. I must say that I was a little worried that nobody would see value in this. There is that fear of Milwaukee, there is fear of being with a lot of black people. Let's not mince words here. (Like I ever do that...lol) So it was refreshing and promising to see families step out of their comfort zone to do something totally new. Children's Ministry has not done something like this before. The gathering of donations for places in Milwaukee-yes. The driving together to deliver the items-yes. But the joining together with the body of Christ to reach people for Christ-no. I was so excited.
Due to a basketball tournament, only Izzy was able to come with me...but we had an amazing time. It really recharged me and reinforced how much I miss the city. I miss messy ministry where everything is not so poised and polished. I miss the energy that comes from different folks with different points of view and different stories to tell. It really was wonderful and I hated to leave.
I see more and more how bridges are needed to join together groups that I love so. I love the friends and much of what I've experienced here at Elmbrook. But what I don't see is a lot of partnering with ministries in the city. We are all the body of Christ. It's mine and Marlon's heart cry that there would be no color boundaries in worshipping Christ. (now I'm not talkin' about music here---ALL aspects of worship) That we could unite in bringing the gospel to those who need it and all see our place in that.
A little off topic...My friend made a great point that poor does not mean sin. Without coming right out and saying that...I think that's what many people think. Like those living in desperate financial situations are there simply because of their own sin. While this can be the case at times...there are also many, many other reasons that people are poor. And it doesn't matter ANYWAY. Think of the revival and redemption that can occur when someone is extended love, acceptance and the mercy of Christ. When someone understands for the first time that their circumstance is only temporary and that eternal life in Christ is waiting for them...oh how joyous that is!

ok---lol---back to Sat. Anyway, there's great commentary on this event on a new missions blog that has been started, The Borderless Journey. If you've ever been interested in what missions is, why people care so much about it, how you might fit into it...check it out!!

On a 2nd note, please pray for my Grandma. During a CT scan of her chest area (where they found a small tear in her esophagous) they also discovered a mass on her kidney. She is having an MRA done today so they can figure out what's up. She's already digging her feet in that if they say she needs surgery she is not going to have it. Ay yi yi--that woman. So pray that whatever they find---she is open to accept help. He is God of all---even her kidney and no request is too large for Him.

Anway---have a good day!

Four Things.....

Here we go again....somebody stop me!!! (not really....lol)

Four jobs I've had:
1. I worked as a cashier at Pick N Save all through high school.
2. I was an Activity Aide at Bethesda Lutheran Homes in Watertown with developmentally disabled adults. LOVED THAT JOB!
3. Case worker for W2 in Milwaukee. Had many different "titles" and actually worked for three different agencies but this was my job from 95' to 02'. Sometimes I really miss those relationships.
4. Independant Living Specialist. Worked for 2 1/2 years with the foster care system in Milwaukee, helping youth that were aging out of foster care. The most heart wrenching job I probably will ever have.

Four Movies I can Watch Over and Over: (I love movies--so I can actually watch a lot more than four...but these are four of my favorites)
1) Grease
2) Halloween
3) The Color Purple
4) Elf

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch
1) Survivor
2) The Amazing Race
3) American Idol
4) Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Four places I've been on vacation
1) Orlando, FL
2) Wilderness in WI Dells....oh my goodness we love that place!
3) Chico, CA (for my cousin's wedding, but still a vacation)
4) Mexico City

Four tunes that get stuck in my head fairly often:
1) Blessed Be the Name of the Lord
2) Still Not a Playa
3) I am Telling You (for some reason I sing this non stop at work...lol)


Four Favorite Dishes
1) Fried Chicken
2) Grandma Nickel's casserole
3) my mom's tuna fish casserole----ooooo, it's so good!!
4) any mexican dish

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1) Facebook
2) my blog
3) Amy's blog
4) Beth's blog

Four Books I Love. (ok--i'm doing other than the bible here)
1) Bridge to Terabithia
2) Renewal on the Run by Jill Briscoe
3) all of the Little House on the Prairie books
4) The Fire that Ignites: Living in the Power of the Holy Spirit

Four Places I'd Rather Be
1) snuggled in bed with Marlon
2) on a cruise
3) worshipping at Nairobi Chapel
4) the Wilderness with Marlon and the kids

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging.
1) Amy
2) Beth
3) Michelle
4) Any of you phantom readers out there who read my blog :)

Now off to gather all of our warm stuff for the parade. We've already got the chairs set up, but we need to gather the blankets, hats, etc.

Have a good, warm evening. Much love!

Gotta brag just a bit...

Ok. Gonna do that braggin' momma thing a bit. Forgive me.

Report cards. As I posted on Wed. Jordyn continues to excel and is such an amazing student. She really loves learning and is a very conscientious student. The boys often do well...but this time around...

Izzy---all 3s and 4s---teacher comment: Izzy is off to a great start in 3rd grade. He is a pure joy to have in class!

Elijah---all As and Bs---teacher comment: Elijah has done a great job this quarter. He has worked hard on a writing piece for our Writer's Workshop. He likes to participate well during discussions. He is well prepared for reading discussion times. Elijah did a very good job on his Leaf Project for Science.

Isaiah---all As and Bs---teacher 1 comment: What a nice young man, a pleasure to have in class. I like his effort and attitude=both top-notch.
teacher 2 comment: Isaiah without a doubt is one of my favorite students I've ever had in my seventeen years of teaching. His effort is great and he's very respectful and helpful, hard qualities to find in a boy at times. If he continues this way he'll have a very bright future ahead for himself. Thanks for being a great role model for the other students Isaiah!

Words can't express. I pray that God continues to protect them and guide them. And yes---it brought tears to this mommies eyes.

Okay....I think I'm addicted....lol

ok. so these questionairre memes are hilarious to me for some reason. also, they serve as a mindless outlet when i have a little time to waste and don't want to catch up on laundry!!

My dream house could be described as: anyone that's paid off!! lol

My mother once: had a humongous ice ball fall on her from a super tall building in downtown Milwaukee

I wish our president: would just be left alone

A million dollars would best be used: donating a lot, paying for a bunch of college tuitions, funding dozens of trips to other countries and never having to work again

In ten years I will be: 46. wow.

My favorite age was/is __ because: oh--I've loved so many ages. 10 cause I had some great friends in 5th grade, 18 cause I LOVED my freshman year of college, early 20s cause I had sooo much fun, was a new mommy and finished college, and now because I'm so much more settled in life than I've ever been

If I could just kiss: Marlon without having a kid hanging all over us...lol

Myspace would be better if: ?? think it's fine

If I could rid the world of one living thing it would be: after seeing the Bee movie, I guess nothing cuz it was a good reminder that there's a reason for every living thing---sappy I know----so sue me...lol

At Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts I normally order: caramel frapiccino

The best dream I ever had involved: can't say. young ones may read this :)

My favorite photograph: one of the four kids right after izzy was born. they look soooo cute!

The most recent phone call I received: Marlon just called like 5 minutes ago

I could only compare the feeling of being loved to: being loved?

When I hear the word 'eject' I automatically think of: a CD player

I never want to die by: car accident

If I was ever accused of a crime I didn't commit: I'd do a lot of praying

The most fun I ever had was: when Marlon and I first met and I went down to visit him in North Carolina

I want to visit ____ because: Israel....there's so many things I want to see

If I could travel back in time I would: try to talk my Grandfather out of killing himself

The smell of ____ reminds me of: metal....reminds me of my daddy coming home from the factory when I was a little girl

12879862 + 2908282 = 15788144 (no clue if this is right---did it in my head)

In my favorite book, the main character: is a little girl with an amazing personality who helps a young boy get through a really rough time in his life---and then she dies

Five songs that would be on the soundtrack of my life would be: Tenderoni, Do You Remember Me, When I Think About the Lord, Dancing Queen, Ain't No Rock

I once ate: fish eyes.

I will never ever: do that again......lol

When I was nine years old, I learned: that sometimes your dad will call you out at home plate even when you are safe...lol

If my house was burning down, one thing I would grab would definitely be: well, other than my family....nothing. honestly---i'd just be out.

I will always regret: how wild I got at Whitewater

I am currently: completing a survey

One Halloween, I: never really did anything too outlandish on Halloween

The best gift I ever gave to someone was: scrapbooks I made for my Grandma, parents and sister

My best friend: has changed through out the years

The worst day I ever had in school: in 9th grade when I started getting so sick of ppl talking about the way I dressed...just that whole time was hard---even though I did love school

I love: my kids

This one time I was at the beach and: my friend and I fell asleep and I got sooooo red (in Mexico)

Piercings are: sexy

Music is a/an _____ part of my life. important

If marijuana was legalized: I'd have a lot of happy cousins!

I once tried to: yodel

The one person I can always count on would be: God

Winter is: fun except for driving in the snow

At 2:00pm I am usually: am working

My dream job: would be to have no job...lol...just volunteer for all of the things I love to do

The last thing that goes through my mind before I fall asleep: wow--it's late

I was once dared to: run around our dorm in my skibbies. and yes, I did it.

There should be a holiday for: moms that need just one day to themselves

If I could speak another language fluently it would be: spanish

My father once: drove all the way up north to pick me up in the middle of the night from my Grandma's house because I was lonely and had tummy pains. (i was pregnant with Jordyn)

The best ten seconds of my life: right after pushing out a baby :)

My bedroom is missing: curtains

Wal-Mart is: a life saver

The most over-used phrase would have to be: whateva

I am addicted to: food

I am guilty of: gossipping

I wish I never said: oh boy---if I had a nickel for all of things I could fill in there!!!

One CD I could listen to on repeat without skipping tracks would be: Silk

If a day was 35 hours long instead of 24: that would be great!

Next summer I will: be able to relax much more

Before I die, I have to: nothing I HAVE to do....what I'd LIKE to do is climb to the top of a mountain

A very, very long Meme.....but it's good nonetheless

Have you ever??

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink? No, but does buying everyone at my table a shot count?

02. Swam with wild dolphins? nope, but I'd like to

03. Climbed a mountain? yes-in Mexico

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive? nope

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid? uh---no

06. Held a tarantula? eww--no

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone? uh huh

08. Said 'I love you' and meant it? everyday

09. Hugged a tree? no

10. Done a striptease? errrr....yes. (ackwarddddddddddd)

11. Bungee jumped? nope--too afraid

12. Visited Paris? nope

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea? can't say that i have

14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise? many times

15. Seen the Northern Lights? no

16. Gone to a huge sports game? Does a Bucks game count?

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa? um..no

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables? I have not. I don't have a green thumb--I kill things

19. Touched an iceberg? No, but I've chewed on an icecube

20. Slept under the stars? yep

21. Changed a baby's diaper: oh, many many times

22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon? no---I'd like to but again...a little afraid

23. Watched a meteor shower? nope

24. Gotten drunk on champagne? not on champagne--that's yucky

25. Given more than you can afford to charity? yep

26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope? a long time ago

27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment? oh yes

28. Had a food fight? I love having those

29. Bet on a winning horse? nope---my horse lost

30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill? ever? yes

31. Asked out a stranger? no----I've never asked ANYONE out. They always did the asking ;)

32. Had a snowball fight? yes

33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier? lol...no...who does that?

34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can? oh yes

35. Held a lamb? nope

36. Enacted a favorite fantasy? :)

37. Taken a midnight skinny dip? *giggles* yes

38. Taken an ice cold bath? yes

39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar? yeah--when i went to school in Chicago, I often did

40. Seen a total eclipse? Of the heart? either way--no

41. Ridden a roller coaster? all the time

42. Hit a home run? hardly

43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days? huh?

44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking? oh danced yes---but never like a fool now.....

45. Adopted an accent for an entire day? yeah

46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors? Mexico

47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment? most of the time

48. Had two hard drives for your computer? no clue. Marlon?

49. Visited all 50 states? nope

50. Loved your job for all accounts? in the begining

51. Taken care of someone who was drunk? rofl...oh yes

52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied? yes

53. Had amazing friends? always have

54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country? yep

55. Watched wild whales? no

56. Stolen a sign? lol...actually yes

57. Backpacked in Europe? never

58. Taken a road-trip? yessir

59. Rock climbing? just once and it was a rock wall---but that can count, can't it?

60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice? no way

61. Midnight walk on the beach? yeah...so romantic

62. Sky diving? no way

63. Visited Ireland? not yet

64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love? naw

65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them? lol...no, but that'd be a riot

66. Visited Japan? had a layover on my way to the Philippines

67. Benchpressed your own weight? nope

68. Milked a cow? yep

69. Alphabetized your records? um..records? Like music? no

70. Pretended to be a superhero? why yes I have.

71. Sung karaoke? oh yes.

72. Lounged around in bed all day? oh yes yes!!

73. Posed nude in front of strangers? not strangers ;)

74. Scuba diving? nope

75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye? actually I have.

76. Kissed in the rain? yes---it's sweet

77. Played in the mud? i have

78. Played in the rain? i have have

79. Gone to a drive-in theater? many times as a kid

80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it? yes

81. Visited the Great Wall of China? no, but I bet it's amazing

82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog? no cause anyone can know...but I know some ppl read it that I don't know---just cuz their nosy like that...lol. Then others might be like me & just like to read about others lives, struggles, viewpoints and experiences

83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better? have no clue what that would be.

84. Started a business? yes

85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken? yes

86. Toured ancient sites? yep--in Mexico

87. Taken a martial arts class? no

88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman? um...whattt??

89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight? no===I had a life in the 80s...lol

90. Gotten married? why yes

91. Been in a movie? um... a homemade one ;)

92. Crashed a party? yep

93. Loved someone you shouldn't have? yes

94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy? Certainly have

95. Gotten divorced? nope--we came close, but pulled through

96. Had sex at the office? I plead the 5th (and definately not Elmbrook--so don't even go there anyone)

97. Gone without food for 5 days? actually yes. darn Master Cleanse

98. Made cookies from scratch? no---Marlon's the baker

99. Won first prize in a costume contest? nope

100. Ridden a gondola in Venice? no, but want to

101. Gotten a tattoo? oh---I want one so bad---I think I'm too old now tho'

102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on? yessir

103. Rafted the Snake River? no

104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"? who thinks of these..???

105. Got flowers for no reason? I have. So sweet.

106. Masturbated in a public place? omgoodness---what in the world?

107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything? unfortunately yes.

108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug? no---don't think I ever did it enough to be addicted

109. Performed on stage? yep

110. Been to Las Vegas? no

111. Recorded music? at Six Flags in their little studio

112. Eaten shark? yucky

113. Had a one-night stand? again, unfortunately yes

114. Gone to Thailand? no

115. Seen Siouxsie live? um---whatttttttt?

116. Bought a house? nope

117. Been in a combat zone? no way

118. Buried one/both of your parents? no no

119. Shaved or waxed all of your hair off? not waxed..but shaved

120. Been on a cruise ship? not yet----want to in Feb.

121. Spoken more than one language fluently? spanish is more conversational---not fluent really

122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone? yep---made her nose bleed too!! i'm rough rugged and raw...lol...ok, maybe not anymore...lol

123. Bounced a check? yes
124. Performed in Rocky Horror? yep-- in Chicago-- man we were crazy...lol

125. Read - and understood - your credit report? nope

126. Raised children? I am currently raising...

127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy? played with--Rubik's Cube

128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour? nope

129. Created and named your own constellation of stars? um..no..

130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country? lol...this question is funny to me

131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did? rode with Poncho Via

132. Called or written your Congress person? nope

133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over? no--but I think it'd be cool if I could

134. ...more than once? - More than thrice? uh...no and no

135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge? never been

136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking? just about everyday

137. Had an abortion or your female partner did? never

138. Had plastic surgery? no

139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived? not shouldn't, but might not have

140. Wrote articles for a large publication? no, but I really want to

141. Lost over 100 pounds? no
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback? yes--a client
143. Piloted an airplane? no
144. Petted a stingray? yes
145. Broken someone's heart? yes.
146. Helped an animal give birth? ewwwww...no
147. Been fired or laid off from a job? I have not
148. Won money on a T.V. game show? no--but wouldn't it be fun
149. Broken a bone? yep
150. Killed a human being? oh my goodness...no!
151. Gone on an African photo safari? no--but I really would love to!
152. Ridden a motorcycle? on the back of one
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph? no--but been in one when it was
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced? no
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol? yes===shotgun
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild? have not
157. Ridden a horse? yes--didn't like it
158. Had major surgery? guess it was kind of major
159. Had sex on a moving train? i plead the 5th
160. Had a snake as a pet? never
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon? nope
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing? have not
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours? lol...heck no
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states? no
165. Visited all 7 continents? no, but wouldn't that be cool?
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days? nope
167. Eaten kangaroo meat? lol...who's done that?
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground? oh yeah---many times...lol
169. Been a sperm or egg donor? can't say that I have
170. Eaten sushi? yummy
171. Had your picture in the newspaper? i have
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime? yes
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about? yep===I can be persuasive
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions? no
175. Gone back to school? no
176. Parasailed? uh too afraid
177. Changed your name? when I got married
178. Petted a cockroach? petted? no. killed? yes
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes? no, but I have watched the movie
180. Read The Iliad? yes
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read? what...are there missing words in this question?

182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them? lol---but that's funny to me for some reason
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you? lol...no

184. Taught yourself an art from scratch? can't say that i have
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating? no
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt? I actually did get the opportunity to do that.
187. Skipped all your school reunions (not on purpose)? no-I went to the 10 yr.
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language? yes

189. Been elected to public office? no
190. Written your own computer language? lol..no
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream? nope
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care? no but my parents did
193. Built your own PC from parts? never
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you? yeah--my neighbors when I was 8...lol
195. Had a booth at a street fair? no
196: Dyed your hair? constantly since I was 15
197: Been a DJ? no---but i flirted with them
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal? uh---no
199: Written your own role playing game? nope
200: Been arrested? yes :)

Good day

Today is going to be a good day. Great day actually. Right now I am taking a break from my busy, busy data entry stuff. Yucky. But I am sticking to my game plan of viewing it only as a temporary task that comes along with job. I am also using the time to randomly pray over the kids names as I enter them. That seems to be helping.

Later today we are going to lunch and a movie as a Children's Ministry staff. It's been awhile since we done that together and it's usually a really fun time together.

Then tonight Jordyn is inducted into National Honor Society. Most of us will be there. (there is a basketball game--so Marlon will take Elijah to that) but everyone else can help her celebrate! She is such an amazing young lady. I love her spirit, her sense of humor, her exuberance for learning and her desire to stay close to God. I know that there will be struggles (there have been before and will be again) and I know that her path will not always go smoothly. I pray that when those storms come I am strong and faithful and lean on God to get through them as a parent. I pray that she is grounded enough in Him to hang on through the drought. She is still going strong with a 4.2 GPA, a severe love of world history, an earned letter in Academics, a strange affection 4-the Beatles-and all things 80s, and a longing to attend Notre Dame. I maintain in prayer that she remains close to God.

And even with all of this positivity---there is sadness. My dear friend is dealing with her father's health issues added to a long list of other family concerns, my Grandma is still seeming a little out of place without her home, my dad is bored out of his gourd being home recouping from his surgery and struggling with not feeling like the provider of his household, another friend is hurting...

Circumstance. Temporary. Nothing of this world, nothing of our day matters eternally other than our belief and faith that Jesus Christ, Creator of All, died for our sins and laid down His life so that we may be free. And that is beyond anything I can even fathom. When I mess up-I no longer dwell in shame and despair or even try to justify. I lay it at the cross, turn my face back to His glory and get back on track.

Yep. It's a good day.

Scripture I need to always keep close...

Galatians is a book that I really enjoy. From the time I first became a Christian, it was a book that I always took to well. It's one of the first books that I actually read through from beginning to end and it just always has spoken to me. Something drew my attention back to it tonight. I wanted to share.

Galatians 5

Freedom in Christ
1It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

2Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 5But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. 6For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." 10I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be. 11Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!

13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature[a]; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b] 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

Life by the Spirit
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.


I think I love this chapter so much because it's such important reminders. Man, how many times do I find myself stuck back in old habits, sidetracked by people who are not heading the same way as me, distracted by anger...

Love---ALL mankind.

Joy---letting the joy of Christ abound in me no matter my circumstances

Peace---in my heart, allowing it to help me stay grounded and at ease and settled, when life is frenzied around me I can still have peace

Patience---not just when it's convenient but in all situations and with everyone.

Kindness--not just to people I think deserve it, but to everyone...coming from a sarcastic family I find this is often most difficult for me...I can be very quick witted and sharp tongued, definately not always kind

Goodness--to overflow with the goodness of Christ, pure and Holy

Faithfulness--to know that at all times He has me in His care and will never leave me, to be obedient and faithful relying only on Him

Gentleness--to react and behave in a caring, gentle way. Standing on my convictions does not mean I have to stomp and shout

Self-control--withholding my reactions that are not Godly, refraining from sinful behavior, holding my tongue...this includes e-mails, responding to blogs (lol)

Live in the spirit and life will be sooooooo much simpler. I'm taking my own advice.

Great article/story...

This is an amazing story from one of my favorite authors, Jill Briscoe. Sometimes as a ministry family, I find myself feeling some of the same ways she does. It always helps to put things in perspective when I read something of hers. Anyway--just wanted to share....

http://www.justbetweenus.org/11_07/home.html

yay....

What a laid back day I'm having! so far all I've done is clean the living room and dining room, did the dishes and 2 loads of laundry. now I am about to go and take a NAP!! That is very exciting because it's been soooo long since I've had a Saturday free with no sports or ministry obligations. I might even try to get a back rub from Marlon.

Well.....

In one sense, the meeting was not quite as bad as I thought it would be. In another it was exactly what I thought it would be. The start of it was a "rumor" that supposedly EVERYONE had been hearing about...which made me laugh cuz almost right away at least 3 or 4 parents were like, "um what rumor??" So what had been alluded to as...."we've all been hearing this rumor..." was actually just a couple of parents. The issue that was in question, Marlon actually had the answer to. Actually another set of parents did too. Because Marlon is close friends with the coach---in a non soccer level---he was privy to some of Troy's reasoning behind things. This seemed to help clear some things and worries and rumors about why this situation was happening. It's all this political soccer stuff and personally, I could care less. Doesn't matter to me what club Isaiah plays for===or even what team for that matter. I think all teams and all clubs have "political" problems.
The whole second part of the meeting I basically didn't agree with anyone else's opinion. They certainly have a right to their opinion. Basically, there are people who feel that Troy is to abrupt (he is sometimes) he is too tough on the boys (I don't think he it) he is not approachable if you disagree with him. Marlon and I have NEVER experienced that. We've had great conversations with him regarding what Isaiah needs to work on and why he is or isn't playing a lot. Some of this is probably because we do this later in the week on a 1 to 1 basis. Not right after a game, not in a social non soccer party or gathering, not in an accusatory way. Who wouldn't respond in a defensive way if the start of the conversation is "um..u lied" I guess like I put in my last post, if you don't care for his coaching techniques why did you return this year? I don't really understand that. My son having fun with this group of boys or not, if I felt a coach was inappropriate or had crossed the line===my son would not play for him. Period. With what I've seen and heard is out there--I wouldn't want Isaiah to play for anyone else. I think that no matter where you go there are going to be parent issues because when you get 12-14 different families together there are always going to be a wide variety of values, ideas, views. So switching teams to try and find different parents would be futile. I have complete trust in Troy with regards to soccer. I have seen Isaiah, as well as many others on our team, go from average soccer players to strong, even great soccer players. Is some of the natural ability--sure. Is the majority of that coaching---I believe most wholeheartedly YES. So then, where Troy is--Isaiah will be. Do I think we have a good group of boys who play well together--I do. One mom brought that up and it would be nice to think of these boys continuing together and continuing to gel. Would I follow with them to a different coach? No. To me that is not more important than the coach. I don't care if I am friends with any of the parents, Isaiah makes friends easily so I wouldn't care if he knew anyone on the team...I do care about who the coach is and what they are going to teach my son. I feel we've found that in Troy--there's no reason to switch. I accept and know that not everyone feels that way. They are certainly entitled to feel that way and I take nothing from it. I don't have to agree. There was other stuff brought up that is neither here nor there===I didn't have the experience that any of those parents had and in that sense could not contribute anything to the discussion.
There is tooooooo much gossip on our team. I know that while I may not have started any--that I'm aware of anyway, I certainly have been guilty sometimes of listening to it and not stopping it. I confess that right here and now. I also know that I will no longer be a part of it. I can't. It's sinful and I have no place being a part of it. If it starts I will ask the people not to tell me. I don't want to know what private conversations they've had with Troy. If they continue--I will get up and move my chair. Period.
One positive thing that I think came out of the meeting is that we are going to have a parent "spokesperson" in a sense. That makes sense. As a coaches wife (well now he's just an assistant coach now--but I've been that head coaches wife) I know that there's nothing worse than a handful of the same old parents coming to complain about the same old things. This parent spokesperson will be kind of a buffer between the parents and Troy. Expectations can be given throught this person on both ends.
One dad brought up an awesome question--do we at least think he's a great coach? The consensus around the table was yes. To me I'm like---um, so what's the problem and why have we been sitting here for the past hour...lol?
So anyway....I've given this all of the energy I can. I lay it down.

Totally different note---aside of visiting one of my teen mop girls tomorrow---I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do tomorrow! Yay!! I can't wait.

Have a good night....well, I guess it's soooo late it's almost morning...lol. I woke up at 2--Chloe was barking and freaking out over the neighbors who had a bunch of people leaving--and now I can't get back to sleep.

Peace out.

Afternoon at Cross Training Academy

Wow. What an afternoon I had. I haven't been this excited in awhile. Yesterday a friend of mine invited me to come and lead worship at the school where she is principal. This K4-3rd grade school is at the Rescue Mission and is new just this school year. Due to conferences they were going to have the last hour and 15 minutes free and she decided to break the kids down into two groups. One activity would be a craft and story and the other would be worship. She knows from Elmbrook that I lead worship and used to each week for kids. I of course jumped on this opportunity because I love ANYTHING to do with the city and pretty much ANYTHING to do with worship. So today they let me leave early so that I could go and lead worship.

I can't even begin to explain the joy this gave me. What a gift. It really reminded me how unfulfilled I am in my current job. I am grateful to my bosses for giving me the time to get my "ministry" fix in the middle of my work day. For some who may be interested---I'll give a little play by play.

The kids were all peeking out of the classrooms as I walked by. Some giggling, some waving...all being ushered back into the rooms by their teachers. My friend Jan led me to the office to put my stuff up and then before showing me to the room where I'd be had to take two calls, find a little girl who'd wet herself some clothes, signed off on a disciplinary action and redirected Elijah--a little boy who had to stay with her for the rest of the day because of his poor behavior so far that day. In the room I kind of arranged the rug, CD player and chairs how I needed them and assured her that I would be just fine by myself. She had instructed one of the teachers, Will to be there for me if I needed him.
First the K4 and K5 kids came in. Oh I love that age. We talked about worship. When I asked them if they knew what worship was all the hands went up (they always do at this age...lol) The answers varied from, "God is good!" to "The Devil is ugly and mean" I love it. I wish I would have had a video camera and been able to take this back to Elmbrook to show people that inner city kids are so much the same as suburban kids. Their responses were the same. They LOVED to sing and dance. Some of the kids were cheerful and silly; some had long faces full of pain and concern. The same was true of the 1st thru 3rd graders. They laughed and danced and worshipped. We talked about how singing to God is different than singing a song to "perform" It doesn't matter who else is singing, it doesn't matter if you know all of the words, it doesn't matter if you're out of tune. God hears you as an angel. When you lift your voice in praise, with your heart full of adoration---you will sound AMAZING! And they did.
I miss the city. I've said it before---but it's so true. Jan got me signed on to do a chapel service in December. I can't wait. I'm so thankful that God brought me there today and that I'll get to go back!

On a totally different note. I need some prayer. Tomorrow after the soccer game we are having a parents meeting. I am giving my opinion here. I am feeling really uncomfortable about it and I am not even sure why. I guess partly because when Marlon asked why we were having it he wasn't really given a clear answer. It's very possible that Kim (who called him) isn't sure why we're having it either. But SOMEONE had to have decided to have it. I guess I also don't like the idea of having it at the soccer park where there will be a ton of people around, as well as the boys. I think that is poor planning. Initially, I was not going to attend. Quite honestly, my life is very full and spending an hour hashing over dumb soccer stuff is not something that I put a lot of value in. However, the elusiveness of why we are having this meeting and who initially planned it intrigues me. I also think it could turn into a BIG gossip session and I will make sure it does not. Believe that. Seriously. Believe that.
Here is where I am at and with God's help I hope I can keep my cool to get this across. We're all entitled to our opinions right? Simply because I try to align mine with God's doesn't make it less valid. Getting this out now, might help me say it without anger, frustration or irritation tomorrow....
Personally, Isaiah loves soccer. He has a great coach. I am not a soccer player. I am not a soccer expert. I have faith that my coach knows more than I. I would not have put my child on a team where I didn't trust the coach. I do not trust the other parents opinions more than the coaches. I think there are some people on our team who do not trust our coach. That is unfortunate. They should have planned better and made different choices. I do not want our team to suffer because of it. Sometimes coaching is tough. I was a coaches wife so I know ALL about that. Parents are the WORST part of the game. They feel because they pay a lot of money they should get some say. Bull. I say you pay a lot of money to have a high caliber coach who KNOWS what he's doing. We have a lot of great players on our team. I do not think we have a lot of hard workers on our team. I include my own son in that sometimes. There is no one kid on our team that is such a star he can win it alone. There is no kid who is so horrible that he could lose a game all alone. We are playing at an intense level. The kids have to give 100% at all times. If they don't-they deserve to get yelled at. If they don't listen to the coach-they deserve to get yelled at. We've actually told Troy and Shawn they can ride Isaiah harder if they need to. As long as there's no cursing--it's all good. As parents, I think the best thing we can do is STAY OUT OF THE WAY AND LET THE BOYS AND COACHES GEL AND MESH AND PLAY AND LEARN AND TEACH and that is going to lead to a quality team. We are there to encourage them, hug them when they lose, remind them to give their ALL no matter what, help them process what they are learning. If you wanna coach---then start a team. If you wanna win---then join a team. Otherwise, as a parent, sit back--enjoy the game--sometimes bite your nails..lol--and remember IT'S JUST SOCCER.
Whew. That felt good. But keep praying regardless for tomorrow. Thanks!!

Not much of anything......

Today was another funeral. Don't think I blogged about another family friend who passed away about 2 weeks ago. Both were connected to our family in kind of bizarre ways. So today I saw a lot of people that I haven't seen since my Grandma Nickel died in Jan. 2001---even some I haven't seen since my Grandpa Nickel died in 1995. I'm glad I went. It did get me thinking a lot about my grandparents though. I miss them.

So glad we get to set the clocks back tonight. The last couple of nights my neck has really been bothering me (I have bulged discs) and I haven't been able to get comfortable. Add in Marlon's snoring and I haven't been to sleep before 1 am in a few nights. I'm hoping with turning the clocks back, I'll get a little bit extra sleep in.

Tomorrow is a soccer game in Madison. Marlon has prison===where he is gone pretty much all day and night. From about 10am to 10pm. I do get a lot done on those days though. Except tomorrow much of it will be spent with soccer. We have to leave about 12:15 and probably won't get home until 5. Yuck. I am sure a few of the kids will stay around here and hang out with my parents, so at least I won't be chasing and worrying about what they're doing.

Well, I am off to fold some laundry. In about an hour I will have to go and give my Grandma her shot--so I should try and get a little done before I have to leave.

Have a good night!

Harvest Fest

Our church is having our Harvest Fest celebration this week. What an amazing time of worship, teaching and just awareness of the community around us. I love that we are asking ourselves the hard questions regarding who and how we help. It's not enough to toss money to the inner city, it's not enough to say that 'because I don't live there it doesn't affect me', it's not enough to ignore it.

I'm really tired and have to get up early---so I'll have to talk more, but if you get a chance check out the web here or better yet....come and check it out!

Have a good nite!

No title.........

Busy, crazy, hectic, run down
Living each minute not as your own

Focused on the here and now
Missing His blessing from above
Denying yourself the peace that He brings
All because you won't stop looking back...

Caught in the moment
Head lost in the clouds
Satisfying self
And being let down

Missing the point
Forgetting the path
Knowing that happiness
Never seems to last

Til you fall to your knees
Give it all up to Him
Leave the sin and the pain
Where it all began

Then the fog starts to clear
The sun starts to shine bright
Day brings new beginnings
As you walk toward the light

Rise out of the rubble
Smile as you rejoice
For you know you can make it
Living each day out for Christ.

....and I rest my case!!!

Ah...if silence is truly golden, then anonymous comments must not count!! :)

And hardly on a pedastal---Jen, or Jen's friend or family who left this comment...if you read about me and my life you see that I am very aware of my humanness and mistakes. This particular event just really made me happy for my friends who have been having such struggles and I wanted to recognize that publicly.

But I don't mind the comments. It's always interesting to me who reads blogs.

Thanks!!

Almost a month....really?

Wow---can't believe it's been so long. I have 2 say that being out of habit makes it harder to get back in the flow....

Life continues to amaze and floor me. For the most part, I am taking care of myself at work. Being more diligent about letting myself get overwhelmed...making sure that my bosses know when and if I need more/extra help...and absolutely NOT taking any work home.

Since it's been so long--thought I'd just bullet point some of what's been happening. Much thanks 2 my friend Sue===who LOVES getting mission update letters in bullet point style===for the idea.

~Pastor Allan from Zambia stayed with us for 2 weeks and it was an amazing time. One thing that made it great was getting to see he and Marlon develop their friendship more deeply. The boys also really had a good time with him. He and Marlon spoke more about his possible 08' trip

~~Jordyn got her driver's license! Entering this new stage of parenting is a lil odd. It's a biggie.

~~Seem to have gotten the ministry stuff straightened out with the person I was dealing with. I've learned that I just can't make everyone happy. Like I KNEW that, but wasn't always living like I KNEW it...lol I refuse to let ppl bully me into sharing their beliefs and I refuse to try and share Jesus that way. Period.

~~Marlon and I are speaking at church on the 10th of Nov. on how "Marriage in the Messiness of Life" we have enough matierial for a million hours...lol...pray we narrow it down as it should be.

~~Personally and professionally i feel like I'm at a crossroads. like the next few months/years are going to be revolutionary for me. that's both exciting and scary

~~i realize that much of my life is spent taking care of others, loving others and putting myself last. even my free time is first spent thinking of what i need to do around the house, who i can visit...i was saying that i need a nite in my jammies and a friend of mine said that wouldn't happen---something would come up and i'd be off trying to save the world. so im broaching the subject w/Marlon to see about letting me have a weekend or even just one night all by myself. what in the world would that look like? I don't even know what i like anymore other than TV. i used to love the theatre, museums, writing...what would i even do with time just for myself? we'll see what comes...

~~the boys (Isaiah and Elijah) made their select basketball teams so that made them happy. Izzy made the select baseball team. sometimes our lives are consumed by sports.


On another note. I must add that I was soooo proud of my friends Troy and Amy tonight for the way they carried themselves at the indoor soccer game. First, Amy was able to calmly ask why someone, who is STILL badmouthing her after almost 1 1/2 years ago, can't let go of the past? Woman to woman she asked her to just leave them alone, stop running them down to others (and we know this continues becuase on Sunday she did it to a mom of another team Troy coaches and they called to let them know and just tonight she was standing next to my husband at the game and was saying, "troy this and this....we try to have God in our lives and they are ruining our family...yayayaya") This person got so angry that they had to go downstairs and couldn't even have a conversation face to face about it. So I don't think this is over. Second, after the teams played each other and they crossed the field to shake hands, the other coach pulled his hand back and didn't shake Troy's hand. Whatever their beef is...as coaches they are there to set an example for their team, for their own children, for the parents. I just pray that whatever anger is still there is taken away...that they are able to move past this situation and let it go. I don't understand. Why would you feel the need to go to another team and tell parents how Troy does this and Troy does that? Why would you feel the need to badmouth them in front of their own teammates? What is going on inside a person that they hold on for soooooooooooooooooooooooo long? It's just bizarre to me. All I can do is continue to pray for Amy and Troy to continue to have level heads, to make wise choices when they run into them, to protect themselves from people who might play both sides, to turn to God for strength in dealing with them and for the court date to stop getting rescheduled.

Anyway. That's about it for tonight. Just had some sweet, wonderful thoughts enter my head and so I am going to lay down and relish in them.

Nite all!!

Coming back...

It's been a long slow road...but I am coming back. I can feel it in my heart and it feels so good. One of these days I might actually be ready to do a catch up post.

On another crazy note...a long lost friend from Mexico found me on my space! How bizarre is that...lol. In high school, I was a part of an exchange program with a school in Mexico D.F. I visited there two times and my family hosted a guest two times---it was such an amazing experience. Anyway, Jose' Luis---one of my closest friends during that time found me on My Space! No===this was not one of my "loves"...lol (for all of you who read this and were around back then) just one of the sweetest, goofiest guys of the group. It's so amazing to me how the internet helps to make the world seem so small.

My, my, my

I tell you this....sometimes ministry is just about the hardest darn thing there is in life. One of my close pastor friends told me the other day that in effective ministry and speaking the truth you will have at least 5 people mad at you at any given time. More and more I see how this is true.

In a discussion I was a part of at James Place (a new community ministry that Elmbrook is starting in downtown Waukesha) I noticed something about myself. I am harder on other Christians than I am on the non-believers and seekers in my life. We discussed how for a lot of Christians it's the opposite. They give more grace and understanding to their Christian brothers and sisters than those they are ministering to. Especially in urban or street ministry where those coming to you are broken, making bad choices, living in sin. It's easy to prejudge or have ideas about them that border on stereotypes. I am the opposite. I was told by someone it's because that is my calling--I am not sure about that, but I do know it's true that I am harder on other believers than anyone else. That certainly includes myself. (part of the reason for my little meltdown at work===whole different post I just can't get into yet)

As I analyze a situation that just occurred within the last day, I see how in an attempt to try and show a fellow sister in Christ how her actions could come across as hateful and judging...I instead made her feel hurt, angry and embarrassed. Part of me is like----good. You should be embarrassed. You need to take a look at what you say and do and how it reflects on Christ. Another part of me is like----why did I need to call her out? Why didn't I just ignore it as I've done other times? Or quietly deal with it one on one? If I'm honest---I know there is a part of me that is so frustrated with Christians who try to bring others to Christ by banging them over the head with it...pushing their opinions on them...mindlessly spewing out other people's ideas without really knowing what they stand for. But I must have the same love and compassion for my Christian brothers and sisters as I do for those I am reaching out to for Christ. I can't effectively lead if I don't speak the truth. I can't effectively lead if I don't challenge those around me to grow and change and self-evaluate. BUT...I also can't effectively lead if I let frustration dictate how I approach people. I apologized for calling her out in front of others. But I do not apologize for speaking the truth. We butt heads often because we rarely see eye to eye on ANYTHING...lol...I'm okay with that because I think it's part of how we grow and change and learn. I don't think that she is and so I will be more careful in how I approach her.

Whew. I think emotional, head work is much more tiring than physical work!!

Wedgie boys...

This video makes me laugh. Crazy boys...lol. What's crazier is that they have about 1500 hits on You Tube. :)

Back at work. My hiatus was great, but seems like it was almost way 2 short. Trying 2 figure out what this all means & what my role is.

Anyway---can't get 2 heavy or deep, just trying to enjoy and relax right now. Too much going on 2 do more than that....

wedgie boys

ahhhhhhh

Although there's been much cleaning being done---I must admit that today I think I've finally hit a relaxed state. Didn't think it was possible.

just my thoughts.......

Broken and distraught
Exhausted and unrest
Spinning uncontrollably
Unfocused and off center

Misguided and misled
Weary and worn
Unable to fully explain
This feeling in my head

How do you love where you are
Yet know it's not quite right....
Like a favorite pair of shoes
that no longer fit.

Time...
to clear my head
to pray for direction
to reconnect with Him
to laugh and to dream

Longing...
to smile without sarcasm
to dance without forcing
to sing full of praise
to love without pause

Knowing...
there's more to the puzzle
He sees the big picture
He knows all the answers
He has me safe in His arms

so I wait
and enjoy
and believe
and know
that when the time is right
and the opportunity is there
it will be time to move on
and He'll let me know.

Hanging in there...

but just barely.

I'm still here. That's about all I can get out right now. He's sustaining me and that's all I'm asking for right now. More later when I am rested and can take more than a moment to think.

The Wedding...

What a beautiful wedding on Sat. My friend Shelbi married her love Justin in a awesome outdoor ceremony complete with an ice cream sundae bar. The setting was amazing and it was so cool because it had gotten cloudy around the time the ceremony started...then right as Shelbi was starting to come down from the house--the clouds broke and the sun just came beaming down. She looked so lovely, as you can see by this picture.

I love weddings.

Weary? Get in line behind me...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
--Matthew 11:28-30

Ever since I first read this passage of scripture, I've been intrigued by it. Perhaps because I've never been one who could find rest easily, perhaps because I always had a hard time thinking of burdens as being light...whatever the reason. Today I was really feeling the pressure of all of the demands on my time at work. I've always tried to remind myself that I am only one person and I can only do so much in one day. With a lot of deadlines looming very close---that just doesn't seem realistic for the next week or two. Teacher training, strategic hits, kick off of Sunday school, Tuesday Nite Live, internet registration, Teen MOPS kick off...all of this amidst a computer system that hasn't been working properly the last two days and other people who depend on me to have things done for them for these different events. So today after an exasperating voicemail message---I leaned back in my chair, sighed heavily and said, "Ok Lord, the rapture...anytime...I'm ready!" A few people around me laughed and we joked a little bit about it, but it got me thinking back to this passage.

I have not been taking these burdens, these deadlines to Him. I have not been seeking Him first. This passage is clear. It doesn't say...a select few of you, it says..Come to me ALL who are weak. Um, yeah, that includes me. It doesn't say...if your burdens are worthy, if I'm feeling extra kind...it says, I WILL GIVE YOU REST. Period. I have to seek Him. I have to come. So often I get caught up in the whirlwind that is my life and try to focus on the next task at hand and in doing so, leave out the most important part---Him. Bible study--right with Him. Prayer--He's my right hand man. Important decisions--white on rice. But day to day things, my job tasks...I wayyyyyyy too often rely on my own strength. And my strength is lacking. I am tapped out.

I actually had planned to do a ton of work from home tonight, but due to the connection problems I'm not able to log on. Hmmmm....rest? Certainly can't deny that tonight. Thanks God for simple blessings!

Take His yoke upon me. And learn. And when I do those things, He tells me that I will find rest for my soul. THAT sounds good.

Jordyn's Party

So here's a few pictures from Jordyn's party last night. Do you now that a bunch of those crazy kids were out swimming and hot tubbing it in the rain!? lol She had a great turn-out and a lot of fun. It's so fun to see that her friends are so diverse. It was so odd too--because so many of her friends have their licenses now that they just came and went on their own. That will be her soon too----aaaarrrggghh!!! lol

The rest of the weekend was full as well. Friday Marlon and Izzy went to the Brewer game, Jordyn went to a friend's house for HSM2 and Isaiah and I went shopping for Jordyn's party. Sat. we were up and out of the house by 5:30am for Isaiah's soccer tournament. They had 2 tough games but came out on top for both. The 2nd team was from IL and they were down by 2 until the last few minutes of the game and then came with 3 goals back to back. So awesome to watch--even if it does churn your stomach sometimes!! :) It's great though that they play their hardest to the last minute-even when they are behind. It's so frustrating to me when I see teams give up, or have a bad attitude when they start to lose and then they have no chance of coming from behind. Then all nite was Jordyn's party.
Anyway--a hard thing was that due to the weather the tournament was cancelled for Sun. Poor Isaiah--he actually shed a tear--sweet thing. I reminded him that weather is beyond our control and even though it's irritating sometimes...he can feel satisfied that they won both games on Sat. and played their hardest. Today we all got to sleep in (Thank you Lord for the rain! Sorry--not very soccer mom of me...lol) and then took the kids to my parent's house because we had a prison. That was a good thing for me--since the tournament was cancelled, Marlon was able to go to Taycheedah with me. Came home and just relaxed, watched some TV, visited with my Grandma and then picked Jordyn up from a party at 9pm. Now everyone is in bed...I'm headed there soon and I'm feeling content. I am hoping some sun comes are way soon--I'm looking forward to getting back into the pool soon.

Nite all.

Sad day...

So you know those days where your heart just hurts for a friend and it sucks because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it---and nothing that you say seems quite right? My friend lost her job today. Well---a change in the way things are being done, resulted in her being let go. I'm sure there's more to the story---there always is---and I'm sure it was not a decision that was made lightly---but the result still sucks. Sorry to those of you who seriously dislike the word suck. Sometimes it's the true sentiment of a situation.

So when I found out I went right to her and hugged her, cried with her, prayed with her...but I still left feeling like I didn't convey my love for her enough and my heart aching. I pray that she feels loved and encouraged in the days and weeks to come. The current plan is that she will stay and finish up, as well as help the transition of the new system until the end of Sept....how difficult. So I pray also that people are patient and kind to her as she works through this. I also pray for all of us---I think people take for granted what she really does and what she brings to the position. My personal viewpoint (not that anyone asked or cares--but it's my blog so whatever...lol) is that while there are probably many positives to this new way of doing things---it will come at a cost. I don't know if it will be worth it in the end.

So we pray. And have faith that God is in control of everything. If this is the right decision---it means He has bigger and better things in store for her. If it's not the right decision....she only has to stay close to Him, rely on His strength and have faith that He will take care of her---because He will. He redeems all in His time.

Heavy heart. But hopeful spirit.